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  3. When you post a reply under a post by someone else describing their emotions or experience with a specific situation and your reply is all about you and your experiences and emotions, you show a lack of empathy that immediately makes me feel suspicious.

When you post a reply under a post by someone else describing their emotions or experience with a specific situation and your reply is all about you and your experiences and emotions, you show a lack of empathy that immediately makes me feel suspicious.

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justsayin
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  • jwildeboer@social.wildeboer.netJ jwildeboer@social.wildeboer.net

    When you post a reply under a post by someone else describing their emotions or experience with a specific situation and your reply is all about you and your experiences and emotions, you show a lack of empathy that immediately makes me feel suspicious. #JustSayin

    fizzfizzpopop@veganism.socialF This user is from outside of this forum
    fizzfizzpopop@veganism.socialF This user is from outside of this forum
    fizzfizzpopop@veganism.social
    wrote sidst redigeret af
    #2

    @jwildeboer in my job yesterday I had something similar, I asked about the children's emotions and parent told me they (a unit) were fine, but told me how angry they the parent is with other parent , how unfair life is and how much the children (again, a unit) kick off when with this parent...

    1 Reply Last reply
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    • jwildeboer@social.wildeboer.netJ jwildeboer@social.wildeboer.net

      When you post a reply under a post by someone else describing their emotions or experience with a specific situation and your reply is all about you and your experiences and emotions, you show a lack of empathy that immediately makes me feel suspicious. #JustSayin

      larsmb@mastodon.onlineL This user is from outside of this forum
      larsmb@mastodon.onlineL This user is from outside of this forum
      larsmb@mastodon.online
      wrote sidst redigeret af
      #3

      @jwildeboer Yes, but also no(t always).

      I think for some neurospicy minds, mirroring someone's experience into ours is a sign of relating and expressing empathy.

      jwildeboer@social.wildeboer.netJ aubrieta@social.tchncs.deA 2 Replies Last reply
      0
      • larsmb@mastodon.onlineL larsmb@mastodon.online

        @jwildeboer Yes, but also no(t always).

        I think for some neurospicy minds, mirroring someone's experience into ours is a sign of relating and expressing empathy.

        jwildeboer@social.wildeboer.netJ This user is from outside of this forum
        jwildeboer@social.wildeboer.netJ This user is from outside of this forum
        jwildeboer@social.wildeboer.net
        wrote sidst redigeret af
        #4

        @larsmb It also could result in being seen as unloading personal feelings on someone who might not be prepared or willing to handle that.

        larsmb@mastodon.onlineL 1 Reply Last reply
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        • jwildeboer@social.wildeboer.netJ jwildeboer@social.wildeboer.net

          @larsmb It also could result in being seen as unloading personal feelings on someone who might not be prepared or willing to handle that.

          larsmb@mastodon.onlineL This user is from outside of this forum
          larsmb@mastodon.onlineL This user is from outside of this forum
          larsmb@mastodon.online
          wrote sidst redigeret af
          #5

          @jwildeboer Yes. But I think it's a common divergence in how people relate, and how they express empathy (not the lack thereof).

          "I thought about what you shared and it's part of my reality too".

          drehumdiebolzen@social.cologneD 1 Reply Last reply
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          • larsmb@mastodon.onlineL larsmb@mastodon.online

            @jwildeboer Yes. But I think it's a common divergence in how people relate, and how they express empathy (not the lack thereof).

            "I thought about what you shared and it's part of my reality too".

            drehumdiebolzen@social.cologneD This user is from outside of this forum
            drehumdiebolzen@social.cologneD This user is from outside of this forum
            drehumdiebolzen@social.cologne
            wrote sidst redigeret af
            #6

            @larsmb this!!! It’s relating and not the opposite. And for sure not a lack of empathy! Framing it as a lack of empathy could be seen as a lack of empathy for neurodivers persons… @jwildeboer

            jwildeboer@social.wildeboer.netJ 1 Reply Last reply
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            • larsmb@mastodon.onlineL larsmb@mastodon.online

              @jwildeboer Yes, but also no(t always).

              I think for some neurospicy minds, mirroring someone's experience into ours is a sign of relating and expressing empathy.

              aubrieta@social.tchncs.deA This user is from outside of this forum
              aubrieta@social.tchncs.deA This user is from outside of this forum
              aubrieta@social.tchncs.de
              wrote sidst redigeret af
              #7

              @larsmb
              Thanks Lars for mentioning this 👍🏻
              It depends how it is done.
              I often do it due to the reason you mentioned.

              @jwildeboer

              1 Reply Last reply
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              • drehumdiebolzen@social.cologneD drehumdiebolzen@social.cologne

                @larsmb this!!! It’s relating and not the opposite. And for sure not a lack of empathy! Framing it as a lack of empathy could be seen as a lack of empathy for neurodivers persons… @jwildeboer

                jwildeboer@social.wildeboer.netJ This user is from outside of this forum
                jwildeboer@social.wildeboer.netJ This user is from outside of this forum
                jwildeboer@social.wildeboer.net
                wrote sidst redigeret af
                #8

                @drehumdiebolzen @larsmb being neurodivergent myself, that’s quite a character attack on me out of nowhere. Thanks, I guess?

                drehumdiebolzen@social.cologneD 1 Reply Last reply
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                • jwildeboer@social.wildeboer.netJ jwildeboer@social.wildeboer.net

                  @drehumdiebolzen @larsmb being neurodivergent myself, that’s quite a character attack on me out of nowhere. Thanks, I guess?

                  drehumdiebolzen@social.cologneD This user is from outside of this forum
                  drehumdiebolzen@social.cologneD This user is from outside of this forum
                  drehumdiebolzen@social.cologne
                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                  #9

                  @jwildeboer that was not what I wanted to say. I just wanted to point out, that it is quite a take to say „it is a lack of empathy if a reply to someone talking about their emotions is talking about their own emotions.“ if this statement was not a general statement but an expression of „I do not feel seen“ then I want to apologize. Written communication is lacking information… @larsmb

                  jwildeboer@social.wildeboer.netJ 1 Reply Last reply
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                  • drehumdiebolzen@social.cologneD drehumdiebolzen@social.cologne

                    @jwildeboer that was not what I wanted to say. I just wanted to point out, that it is quite a take to say „it is a lack of empathy if a reply to someone talking about their emotions is talking about their own emotions.“ if this statement was not a general statement but an expression of „I do not feel seen“ then I want to apologize. Written communication is lacking information… @larsmb

                    jwildeboer@social.wildeboer.netJ This user is from outside of this forum
                    jwildeboer@social.wildeboer.netJ This user is from outside of this forum
                    jwildeboer@social.wildeboer.net
                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                    #10

                    @drehumdiebolzen @larsmb That’s kind of the point. On text-based networks, we all lack the social cues that we send and receive in direct, personal communication and that often leads to miscommunication and jumping to wrong conclusions. One way many people seem to deal with this is by being self-centered. Which often kills a good discussion.

                    1 Reply Last reply
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                    • jwildeboer@social.wildeboer.netJ jwildeboer@social.wildeboer.net

                      When you post a reply under a post by someone else describing their emotions or experience with a specific situation and your reply is all about you and your experiences and emotions, you show a lack of empathy that immediately makes me feel suspicious. #JustSayin

                      folfdk@helvede.netF This user is from outside of this forum
                      folfdk@helvede.netF This user is from outside of this forum
                      folfdk@helvede.net
                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                      #11

                      @jwildeboer

                      If you don't me asking: is this something you experience often?

                      It sounds like you share this post because of a lived experience with your own posts, not just while reading other people's posts?

                      Being famous (ok ok, I might be stretching reality a bit, but compared to many people you are at least more famous than the average fediverse citizen) I would guess that you see much more interaction (like this one actually) with people you don't interact with frequently?

                      (1/2)

                      1 Reply Last reply
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