I remember reading about a psychological experiment where participants were divided into a red and blue team, and asked to play in a competition against each other.
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But seriously, being trans has given me insight into how arbitrary gender constructions are. You put on a different coloured shirt (or a dress), and immediately you start to be interpreted differently. Because men are like this, and women are like that, we're told.
So much of "gender difference" is the red team— men, that is— trying to justify to themselves how they're just more skillful players, rather than being born into a system that favours them. A system that they largely control the rules of, and generation after generation, collectively decide to maintain for another cycle.
7/I would maybe introduce the nuance of National Leagues, where the Blue teams play among themselves, and the Red teams play each other. And compare this to International Competitions where it's Blue teams against Red teams.
From my perspective there seems to be a stronger, dog eat dog, survival of the fittest mentality among men. With women there seems to be a stronger, nobody is left behind, help those who need help mentality.
This is hugely over simplified but you can see how, for example, a man helping a weaker man might be shunned by the group making others reluctant to show such weakness themselves.
This may be in the origin male roles versus female roles, which leads to the difficult question of if your gender is wrong or society is wrong.
I think society needs the differences, which is why some people feel misgendered in society.
Others may feel society should change. -
When we ask men, in the name of feminism, to call out other men, to demand fair treatment of women and people of minoritised gender, it's not a small ask.
We're asking them to go against instinct, against group loyalty and group thought.
We're asking them to stand against the coding they've been subject to all their lives, the unspoken agreement that they do not acknowledge that the competition was rigged for their team.
I'm not saying I forgive sexism as "natural". It's still dead wrong. But I'm acknowledging the internal struggle, and inviting men to do so as well. Knowing your own brain is part of the problem is half the battle.
3/@Tattie I believe the same mechanism works when it comes to 'strangers'/migrants, towards poor people and towards other people in society the majority (the tribe) doesn't connect with. This is what keeps the status-quo and the power distribution.
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When we ask men, in the name of feminism, to call out other men, to demand fair treatment of women and people of minoritised gender, it's not a small ask.
We're asking them to go against instinct, against group loyalty and group thought.
We're asking them to stand against the coding they've been subject to all their lives, the unspoken agreement that they do not acknowledge that the competition was rigged for their team.
I'm not saying I forgive sexism as "natural". It's still dead wrong. But I'm acknowledging the internal struggle, and inviting men to do so as well. Knowing your own brain is part of the problem is half the battle.
3/@Tattie we are all predisposed to identify "kin". In old times that might be our small tribe, and every human you didn't recognise was "other", but that doesn't work in today's world. So we look for "kinship" in other ways. Sex, "male" v "female" is one. Nationality, ethnicity, political affiliation, sports fans, etc. We are susceptible to "group think" when we identify with ANY such group and we want to believe "we" are always right and "they" are always wrong. Self awareness is really hard.
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J jwcph@helvede.net shared this topic
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Actually probably a lot of it is more benign than that. There seems to consistently be a tendency to encode a team character, whether that's positive, negative, or basically harmless.
Man City supporters are like this. Italians are like that.
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9/@Tattie At the moment, the discussions on r/MCFC are showing a wide range of character and opinion. From “We’re doomed!” to “it will just get overturned on appeal due to expensive lawyers” to “what happens to the giant, respected accountancy firm who were involved” and everything in-between.
The difference is probably how long someone has been a fan - as a very old fan, I am on the side of inevitable doom.
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Actually probably a lot of it is more benign than that. There seems to consistently be a tendency to encode a team character, whether that's positive, negative, or basically harmless.
Man City supporters are like this. Italians are like that.
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9/I'm getting into stream-of-consciousness mode, which suggests I should conclude this thread somehow.
I guess I'm imploring people to be aware of the human instinct to construct difference based on arbitrary team membership. To be aware how this can colour how you see men and women, and their actions. To be aware that this feeds into and powers patriarchy, and can lead you to instinctively act to increase rather than reduce male privilege.
If we understand our instincts, and consciously compensate for them, it doesn't have to be this way.
Fin/ -
Actually probably a lot of it is more benign than that. There seems to consistently be a tendency to encode a team character, whether that's positive, negative, or basically harmless.
Man City supporters are like this. Italians are like that.
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9/@Tattie (Did you intentionally pick two teams with a blue strip there?)
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I'm getting into stream-of-consciousness mode, which suggests I should conclude this thread somehow.
I guess I'm imploring people to be aware of the human instinct to construct difference based on arbitrary team membership. To be aware how this can colour how you see men and women, and their actions. To be aware that this feeds into and powers patriarchy, and can lead you to instinctively act to increase rather than reduce male privilege.
If we understand our instincts, and consciously compensate for them, it doesn't have to be this way.
Fin/@Tattie good thread. I enjoyed that.
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@Tattie At the moment, the discussions on r/MCFC are showing a wide range of character and opinion. From “We’re doomed!” to “it will just get overturned on appeal due to expensive lawyers” to “what happens to the giant, respected accountancy firm who were involved” and everything in-between.
The difference is probably how long someone has been a fan - as a very old fan, I am on the side of inevitable doom.
@Tattie and to get back to men’s advantage, over on r/MCWFC, it’s “hang on, this is going to fuck the women’s team, even though they have nothing to do with any of this”.
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@Tattie As a bisexual, this checks out. There's a lot of pressure from both the red and blue teams to just "pick a side." Some do want to claim you for a particular side -- theirs because they think it's better, the one that your current (presumed-)partner would make you align with, etc. -- but a lot just want you to settle down onto either team so the world fits into their sense of it.
I've been bi my whole adult life, so 20 years of this meant transition was familiar to me in many ways!
@bright_helpings ooh I like this insight! Thanks!
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When we ask men, in the name of feminism, to call out other men, to demand fair treatment of women and people of minoritised gender, it's not a small ask.
We're asking them to go against instinct, against group loyalty and group thought.
We're asking them to stand against the coding they've been subject to all their lives, the unspoken agreement that they do not acknowledge that the competition was rigged for their team.
I'm not saying I forgive sexism as "natural". It's still dead wrong. But I'm acknowledging the internal struggle, and inviting men to do so as well. Knowing your own brain is part of the problem is half the battle.
3/@Tattie I don't think I ever made it explicit to myself like this, but I probably always knew that it felt more natural for me to be a feminist than most men because I never felt at home in the prevalent masculinity behavioral codings in the first place. I present as a regular dude & I'm cis, so guys are often surprised & yes, often see me as a category traitor.
