It seems that as a species develops more emphasis on brains, it also produces more assholes.

[apontious@dice.camp]

@MrBirch @alice I-is that true? I want it to be true.

[jhooper@techhub.social]

@alice When humans develop on utero, the first thing that develops is the digestive system and the anus.

So we all start out as little assholes. For some, little has changed aside from size.

[catsalad@infosec.exchange]

@alice You're so 🫦, even hornets want a piece of you!

[silvermoon82@wandering.shop]

@alice
I've been stung by wasps twice in the last couple weeks, for no fault of my own.

Bastard assholes. Hate them, and they me.

[alice@lgbtqia.space]

@apontious totally true.

@MrBirch

[mrbirch@beige.party]

@apontious @alice Oh yeah. We’ve had hummingbird feeder for a long time. There’s plenty of nectar to go around but the birds are super territorial and will chase others off. Real aerial combat.

[alice@lgbtqia.space]

@catsalad so you're saying it was negging me?

[silvermoon82@wandering.shop]

@DukeDuke @alice
Oh! This is the extended cut!
The first time I saw this GIF, it ended with the goose still inside the car. Bad day for all involved.

[irenetherogue@beige.party]

@alice "least likely to solve a crossword puzzle" sounds like slugs, sponges, and if im very honest, lionfishes

Edit: tho upon reflection the only one of those that id describe as "jerk who would never solve a crossword" is the lionfish

[catsalad@infosec.exchange]

@alice I mean, they are little assholes, so it fits

[ronjeffries@mastodon.social]

@alice
Interesting theory, Alice, very interesting theory.

[smutty_tiefling@spookygirl.boo]

@SymTrkl @alice octopodes are indeed assholes.
They love to break out of aquarium tanks in order to eat their neighbours

[paul_ipv6@infosec.exchange]

@alice

one summer, i was swimming in the Y pool and my hand came up under a dead yellow jacket that i didn't see in time. even dead the stinger embedded in the back of my hand and had to be pulled out with tweezers. i still have a scar.

hornets/wasps/yellow jackets are *SO* assholes, even dead.

[catmisgivings@stranger.social]

@alice I heard mantis shrimp are jerks

[rotopenguin@mastodon.social]

@alice they're just hate given physical form.

[jelgato@mastodon.world]

@silvermoon82 @DukeDuke @alice

Kind of disappointed it didn't end with the humans being ejected and then the goose driving off and then, I dunno, running for Congress and then pulling a Fetterman?

[flipper@mastodonapp.uk]

@alice can confirm that about dolphins.

[ghostsarespooky@infosec.exchange]

@alice @apontious @MrBirch red rufous especially, they even have resting asshole face

resting ass-face? dunno, they're dicks

[kitkat_blue@mastodon.social]

@alice

Whales seems pretty chill...and smart! They may not do crosswords, but there's a decent chance they do their version of poetry, philosophy, and opera!

[symtrkl@anarres.family]

@Smutty_Tiefling hot take, cage-breaking is not an asshole behavior. eating neighbors maybe, but predators gonna prey on-
okay this is the wrong week for me to talk about this
@alice