I'm a parent with a 9-month old baby looking to chat with other parents.
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@coreysnipes @adriano @Lyle Well right now baby won't sleep unless Mom is feeding her to sleep, baby won't let me help at all. Very inconvenient since I'm the housedad and I was previously taking care of her nap times all day.
Being a full-time caregiver is also a personal challenge.
my ex wanted, and managed, to breastfeed our kid for a very long time. I've forgotten how long, but very long, much more than 9 months.
It involved pumping, and storing, and sometimes worrying because the baby wouldn't drink, because storing pumped milk without it going bad was a very, very fiddly business.
What I'm going with this is... It's hard. It is very hard and tiresome. But you can do it. Mom can do it. Gotta pamper her as much as you can of course.
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my ex wanted, and managed, to breastfeed our kid for a very long time. I've forgotten how long, but very long, much more than 9 months.
It involved pumping, and storing, and sometimes worrying because the baby wouldn't drink, because storing pumped milk without it going bad was a very, very fiddly business.
What I'm going with this is... It's hard. It is very hard and tiresome. But you can do it. Mom can do it. Gotta pamper her as much as you can of course.
@skyfaller @coreysnipes @Lyle eventually, *eventually*, the baby _sleeps_. For the night. They do. It's awesome.
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I'm a parent with a 9-month old baby looking to chat with other parents. Can you recommend fedi accounts of parents with younger children who talk about parenting? (There may be many silent parents on here.)
Bonus points if they ride bikes / avoid cars, are passionate about climate justice, are COVID conscious / interested in public health, or concerned about LLMs & surveillance capitalism (all relatively common on fedi no doubt, despite conditions in the outside world).
Parent of an almost 3 year old here who does not own a car and manages to avoid even getting in one for months at a time.
I don't post much though so maybe not worth a follow.
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@coreysnipes @adriano @Lyle Well right now baby won't sleep unless Mom is feeding her to sleep, baby won't let me help at all. Very inconvenient since I'm the housedad and I was previously taking care of her nap times all day.
Being a full-time caregiver is also a personal challenge.
@skyfaller @coreysnipes @adriano For me personally I just had constant physical contact with the baby so I was very boring and normal. Once this was established I had no issues but I may have just been lucky. I made my presence very routine, so I was around for sixteen hours of the day and the only one around for eight hours. You’re doing warm bottle milk? I understand some parents do formula but it can be tricky for the babies to take it.
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I'm a parent with a 9-month old baby looking to chat with other parents. Can you recommend fedi accounts of parents with younger children who talk about parenting? (There may be many silent parents on here.)
Bonus points if they ride bikes / avoid cars, are passionate about climate justice, are COVID conscious / interested in public health, or concerned about LLMs & surveillance capitalism (all relatively common on fedi no doubt, despite conditions in the outside world).
Don’t assume the older parents, of whom we are legion, don’t have any wisdom to impart. Our kids may be grown and gone but our knowledge remains.
I’ll leave you with one nugget. No one knows anything about raising children. It’s all a terrifying crap shoot and everyone does the best job they can. We all have opinions, mind you, just not answers.
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I'm a parent with a 9-month old baby looking to chat with other parents. Can you recommend fedi accounts of parents with younger children who talk about parenting? (There may be many silent parents on here.)
Bonus points if they ride bikes / avoid cars, are passionate about climate justice, are COVID conscious / interested in public health, or concerned about LLMs & surveillance capitalism (all relatively common on fedi no doubt, despite conditions in the outside world).
@skyfaller - happy to chat - I’m a queer parent of similarly aged kiddo.
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@skyfaller @coreysnipes @Lyle eventually, *eventually*, the baby _sleeps_. For the night. They do. It's awesome.
@adriano @skyfaller @Lyle Yes, this "only mom will do" situation is super normal. I had a hard time with it and it was tough to not take it personally. Over time it has become clear to me that sometimes they just want a certain parent, and it's not personal. When they're tiny, it's often mom but as they get older you'll see more "only dad will do" cases appear. I also think if mom jumps in even though she's technically not available, that makes everything take longer and a child will just learn to make things more miserable until they get mom. If you're the only one available they'll eventually learn that, even though it takes a long time and is rough on everyone.
Even though it's a bit cheesy, the phrase "this too shall pass" got me through a lot of tough times. Having some tools like that to help you work through the interminable difficult times is good, too.
Just my $0.02. Best of luck. That's a tough one!
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@FlockOfCats has some nice parenting posts, especially around mealtimes
Thanks for mentioning me
️ I’m always happy for some baby talk!
9 months was a fun age, and the next few months will be a blur of new and exciting things!
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@adriano @skyfaller @Lyle Yes, this "only mom will do" situation is super normal. I had a hard time with it and it was tough to not take it personally. Over time it has become clear to me that sometimes they just want a certain parent, and it's not personal. When they're tiny, it's often mom but as they get older you'll see more "only dad will do" cases appear. I also think if mom jumps in even though she's technically not available, that makes everything take longer and a child will just learn to make things more miserable until they get mom. If you're the only one available they'll eventually learn that, even though it takes a long time and is rough on everyone.
Even though it's a bit cheesy, the phrase "this too shall pass" got me through a lot of tough times. Having some tools like that to help you work through the interminable difficult times is good, too.
Just my $0.02. Best of luck. That's a tough one!
@coreysnipes @adriano @skyfaller @Lyle
adding to the chorus of "this too shall pass". Although as a parent of an 11yo and a 13yo my take is "every age has its delights and difficulties". Things don't necessarily get easier, they just change. But what does get better over time are having to take care of them bodily (feeding, washing, wiping, sleeping next to them).
You will get through this. One day you will look back and not really remember how miserable you felt with this situation. Until then: fortitude! -
@adriano @skyfaller @Lyle Yes, this "only mom will do" situation is super normal. I had a hard time with it and it was tough to not take it personally. Over time it has become clear to me that sometimes they just want a certain parent, and it's not personal. When they're tiny, it's often mom but as they get older you'll see more "only dad will do" cases appear. I also think if mom jumps in even though she's technically not available, that makes everything take longer and a child will just learn to make things more miserable until they get mom. If you're the only one available they'll eventually learn that, even though it takes a long time and is rough on everyone.
Even though it's a bit cheesy, the phrase "this too shall pass" got me through a lot of tough times. Having some tools like that to help you work through the interminable difficult times is good, too.
Just my $0.02. Best of luck. That's a tough one!
@coreysnipes @adriano @Lyle baby has already been through a phase where only I could get her to sleep! Interesting having the shoe on the other foot
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@coreysnipes @adriano @Lyle baby has already been through a phase where only I could get her to sleep! Interesting having the shoe on the other foot
@skyfaller Indeed!
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@skyfaller @coreysnipes @adriano For me personally I just had constant physical contact with the baby so I was very boring and normal. Once this was established I had no issues but I may have just been lucky. I made my presence very routine, so I was around for sixteen hours of the day and the only one around for eight hours. You’re doing warm bottle milk? I understand some parents do formula but it can be tricky for the babies to take it.
@Lyle @coreysnipes @adriano Yeah baby has had very little formula, because Mom also works from home we have been able to directly breast feed her mostly recently. Pumping has been necessary for business trips, but pumping is really a less efficient use of our time once you consider cleaning the pump etc., so Mom hasn't pumped much lately either.
I should try bottle feeding her to sleep now. I had routines that worked for getting baby to sleep but they stopped working and I should be flexible.
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@Lyle @coreysnipes @adriano Yeah baby has had very little formula, because Mom also works from home we have been able to directly breast feed her mostly recently. Pumping has been necessary for business trips, but pumping is really a less efficient use of our time once you consider cleaning the pump etc., so Mom hasn't pumped much lately either.
I should try bottle feeding her to sleep now. I had routines that worked for getting baby to sleep but they stopped working and I should be flexible.
@skyfaller @Lyle @adriano That's a great perspective. We had so many hard-won routines that just stopped working. Everything is temporary and flexibility is key.
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@Lyle @coreysnipes @adriano Yeah baby has had very little formula, because Mom also works from home we have been able to directly breast feed her mostly recently. Pumping has been necessary for business trips, but pumping is really a less efficient use of our time once you consider cleaning the pump etc., so Mom hasn't pumped much lately either.
I should try bottle feeding her to sleep now. I had routines that worked for getting baby to sleep but they stopped working and I should be flexible.
@skyfaller @Lyle @coreysnipes @adriano My kids are adults now, but I seem to recall that no routine ever lasted when they were this young — they’re growing too fast and you just have to keep rolling with the changes. You aren’t doing anything wrong, it’s just early childhood development is intense stuff.
Horrible advice for summer, but have you tried baby-wearing? My dh used to use The Step
️ (you are probably too young to remember) and sing Tom Bombadil songs while wearing the babies. -
I'm a parent with a 9-month old baby looking to chat with other parents. Can you recommend fedi accounts of parents with younger children who talk about parenting? (There may be many silent parents on here.)
Bonus points if they ride bikes / avoid cars, are passionate about climate justice, are COVID conscious / interested in public health, or concerned about LLMs & surveillance capitalism (all relatively common on fedi no doubt, despite conditions in the outside world).
@skyfaller I am a parent of a 21 month old and would be happy to chat. I sometimes post about parent life here but we are often careful about what we post. Big hug - being a new parent can be really lonely and overwhelming, but know you are not alone.
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@skyfaller @Lyle @coreysnipes @adriano My kids are adults now, but I seem to recall that no routine ever lasted when they were this young — they’re growing too fast and you just have to keep rolling with the changes. You aren’t doing anything wrong, it’s just early childhood development is intense stuff.
Horrible advice for summer, but have you tried baby-wearing? My dh used to use The Step
️ (you are probably too young to remember) and sing Tom Bombadil songs while wearing the babies.@ClimateJenny @Lyle @coreysnipes @adriano Yeah I need to do more baby wearing, it's fine in air conditioning of course, and we just got a baby backpack for hiking in nicer weather.
Problems with baby wearing:
* I'm too slow at getting her in and out of carriers and need help from Mom, so I need more practice
* Can't feed her or take her to the bathroom
* Can't drink hot tea, which is my standard drink even in summerBut all of this would be ok if I got faster
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@ClimateJenny @Lyle @coreysnipes @adriano Yeah I need to do more baby wearing, it's fine in air conditioning of course, and we just got a baby backpack for hiking in nicer weather.
Problems with baby wearing:
* I'm too slow at getting her in and out of carriers and need help from Mom, so I need more practice
* Can't feed her or take her to the bathroom
* Can't drink hot tea, which is my standard drink even in summerBut all of this would be ok if I got faster
@skyfaller @Lyle @coreysnipes @adriano Back in the day I used a cloth sling for daily wear. A cloth sling is a lot simpler to work with, although having another human being strapped to your chest does get hot.
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@skyfaller @Lyle @coreysnipes @adriano Back in the day I used a cloth sling for daily wear. A cloth sling is a lot simpler to work with, although having another human being strapped to your chest does get hot.
@ClimateJenny @Lyle @coreysnipes @adriano Yeah a woven wrap is what I use indoors, this backpack would be ludicrously bulky in our little house
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@ClimateJenny @Lyle @coreysnipes @adriano Yeah a woven wrap is what I use indoors, this backpack would be ludicrously bulky in our little house
@skyfaller @ClimateJenny @Lyle @coreysnipes with backpacks you also have to be careful with their necks.
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I'm a parent with a 9-month old baby looking to chat with other parents. Can you recommend fedi accounts of parents with younger children who talk about parenting? (There may be many silent parents on here.)
Bonus points if they ride bikes / avoid cars, are passionate about climate justice, are COVID conscious / interested in public health, or concerned about LLMs & surveillance capitalism (all relatively common on fedi no doubt, despite conditions in the outside world).
@skyfaller You've described me
My kids are in elementary school. We're a covid-conscious household still masking when away from home. Kid1 goes to school by bike in the not-snowy months (riding in the back of Spouse's cargo bike or, increasingly, on their own bike). Kid2 is autistic and disabled, so they're still getting to some milestones typical of much younger kids. I'm also a college chemistry professor who actively discourages AI use. My posts may include any of that plus gardening
