I'm a parent with a 9-month old baby looking to chat with other parents.
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@adriano @skyfaller @Lyle Yes, this "only mom will do" situation is super normal. I had a hard time with it and it was tough to not take it personally. Over time it has become clear to me that sometimes they just want a certain parent, and it's not personal. When they're tiny, it's often mom but as they get older you'll see more "only dad will do" cases appear. I also think if mom jumps in even though she's technically not available, that makes everything take longer and a child will just learn to make things more miserable until they get mom. If you're the only one available they'll eventually learn that, even though it takes a long time and is rough on everyone.
Even though it's a bit cheesy, the phrase "this too shall pass" got me through a lot of tough times. Having some tools like that to help you work through the interminable difficult times is good, too.
Just my $0.02. Best of luck. That's a tough one!
@coreysnipes @adriano @Lyle baby has already been through a phase where only I could get her to sleep! Interesting having the shoe on the other foot
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@coreysnipes @adriano @Lyle baby has already been through a phase where only I could get her to sleep! Interesting having the shoe on the other foot
@skyfaller Indeed!
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@skyfaller @coreysnipes @adriano For me personally I just had constant physical contact with the baby so I was very boring and normal. Once this was established I had no issues but I may have just been lucky. I made my presence very routine, so I was around for sixteen hours of the day and the only one around for eight hours. You’re doing warm bottle milk? I understand some parents do formula but it can be tricky for the babies to take it.
@Lyle @coreysnipes @adriano Yeah baby has had very little formula, because Mom also works from home we have been able to directly breast feed her mostly recently. Pumping has been necessary for business trips, but pumping is really a less efficient use of our time once you consider cleaning the pump etc., so Mom hasn't pumped much lately either.
I should try bottle feeding her to sleep now. I had routines that worked for getting baby to sleep but they stopped working and I should be flexible.
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@Lyle @coreysnipes @adriano Yeah baby has had very little formula, because Mom also works from home we have been able to directly breast feed her mostly recently. Pumping has been necessary for business trips, but pumping is really a less efficient use of our time once you consider cleaning the pump etc., so Mom hasn't pumped much lately either.
I should try bottle feeding her to sleep now. I had routines that worked for getting baby to sleep but they stopped working and I should be flexible.
@skyfaller @Lyle @adriano That's a great perspective. We had so many hard-won routines that just stopped working. Everything is temporary and flexibility is key.
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@Lyle @coreysnipes @adriano Yeah baby has had very little formula, because Mom also works from home we have been able to directly breast feed her mostly recently. Pumping has been necessary for business trips, but pumping is really a less efficient use of our time once you consider cleaning the pump etc., so Mom hasn't pumped much lately either.
I should try bottle feeding her to sleep now. I had routines that worked for getting baby to sleep but they stopped working and I should be flexible.
@skyfaller @Lyle @coreysnipes @adriano My kids are adults now, but I seem to recall that no routine ever lasted when they were this young — they’re growing too fast and you just have to keep rolling with the changes. You aren’t doing anything wrong, it’s just early childhood development is intense stuff.
Horrible advice for summer, but have you tried baby-wearing? My dh used to use The Step
️ (you are probably too young to remember) and sing Tom Bombadil songs while wearing the babies. -
I'm a parent with a 9-month old baby looking to chat with other parents. Can you recommend fedi accounts of parents with younger children who talk about parenting? (There may be many silent parents on here.)
Bonus points if they ride bikes / avoid cars, are passionate about climate justice, are COVID conscious / interested in public health, or concerned about LLMs & surveillance capitalism (all relatively common on fedi no doubt, despite conditions in the outside world).
@skyfaller I am a parent of a 21 month old and would be happy to chat. I sometimes post about parent life here but we are often careful about what we post. Big hug - being a new parent can be really lonely and overwhelming, but know you are not alone.
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@skyfaller @Lyle @coreysnipes @adriano My kids are adults now, but I seem to recall that no routine ever lasted when they were this young — they’re growing too fast and you just have to keep rolling with the changes. You aren’t doing anything wrong, it’s just early childhood development is intense stuff.
Horrible advice for summer, but have you tried baby-wearing? My dh used to use The Step
️ (you are probably too young to remember) and sing Tom Bombadil songs while wearing the babies.@ClimateJenny @Lyle @coreysnipes @adriano Yeah I need to do more baby wearing, it's fine in air conditioning of course, and we just got a baby backpack for hiking in nicer weather.
Problems with baby wearing:
* I'm too slow at getting her in and out of carriers and need help from Mom, so I need more practice
* Can't feed her or take her to the bathroom
* Can't drink hot tea, which is my standard drink even in summerBut all of this would be ok if I got faster
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@ClimateJenny @Lyle @coreysnipes @adriano Yeah I need to do more baby wearing, it's fine in air conditioning of course, and we just got a baby backpack for hiking in nicer weather.
Problems with baby wearing:
* I'm too slow at getting her in and out of carriers and need help from Mom, so I need more practice
* Can't feed her or take her to the bathroom
* Can't drink hot tea, which is my standard drink even in summerBut all of this would be ok if I got faster
@skyfaller @Lyle @coreysnipes @adriano Back in the day I used a cloth sling for daily wear. A cloth sling is a lot simpler to work with, although having another human being strapped to your chest does get hot.
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@skyfaller @Lyle @coreysnipes @adriano Back in the day I used a cloth sling for daily wear. A cloth sling is a lot simpler to work with, although having another human being strapped to your chest does get hot.
@ClimateJenny @Lyle @coreysnipes @adriano Yeah a woven wrap is what I use indoors, this backpack would be ludicrously bulky in our little house
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@ClimateJenny @Lyle @coreysnipes @adriano Yeah a woven wrap is what I use indoors, this backpack would be ludicrously bulky in our little house
@skyfaller @ClimateJenny @Lyle @coreysnipes with backpacks you also have to be careful with their necks.
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I'm a parent with a 9-month old baby looking to chat with other parents. Can you recommend fedi accounts of parents with younger children who talk about parenting? (There may be many silent parents on here.)
Bonus points if they ride bikes / avoid cars, are passionate about climate justice, are COVID conscious / interested in public health, or concerned about LLMs & surveillance capitalism (all relatively common on fedi no doubt, despite conditions in the outside world).
@skyfaller You've described me
My kids are in elementary school. We're a covid-conscious household still masking when away from home. Kid1 goes to school by bike in the not-snowy months (riding in the back of Spouse's cargo bike or, increasingly, on their own bike). Kid2 is autistic and disabled, so they're still getting to some milestones typical of much younger kids. I'm also a college chemistry professor who actively discourages AI use. My posts may include any of that plus gardening
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I'm a parent with a 9-month old baby looking to chat with other parents. Can you recommend fedi accounts of parents with younger children who talk about parenting? (There may be many silent parents on here.)
Bonus points if they ride bikes / avoid cars, are passionate about climate justice, are COVID conscious / interested in public health, or concerned about LLMs & surveillance capitalism (all relatively common on fedi no doubt, despite conditions in the outside world).
@skyfaller I tick all the boxes except... I don't think I talk much about it around here except casually and, being my account multilingual, very probably in Spanish
my kid is 3.5 y.o. and we race each other on the bicycle to the kindergarten everyday -
I'm a parent with a 9-month old baby looking to chat with other parents. Can you recommend fedi accounts of parents with younger children who talk about parenting? (There may be many silent parents on here.)
Bonus points if they ride bikes / avoid cars, are passionate about climate justice, are COVID conscious / interested in public health, or concerned about LLMs & surveillance capitalism (all relatively common on fedi no doubt, despite conditions in the outside world).
@skyfaller Mine are 8 and 13, but I don't post very much. We do mostly travel by bicycle though, I haven't owned a car since 2005.
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@coreysnipes @adriano @Lyle Well right now baby won't sleep unless Mom is feeding her to sleep, baby won't let me help at all. Very inconvenient since I'm the housedad and I was previously taking care of her nap times all day.
Being a full-time caregiver is also a personal challenge.
@skyfaller @coreysnipes @adriano @Lyle it helped me to acknowledge most of us are raising kids in an environment completely different than what we were evolved for, and it puts an insane amount of pressure on modern parents. Some studies found that an average baby was probably held by over a dozen people throughout the day when we were still tribal. Most days it's 2 now, if you're lucky. So cut yourself some slack, you're literally doing the work of an entire village!
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I'm a parent with a 9-month old baby looking to chat with other parents. Can you recommend fedi accounts of parents with younger children who talk about parenting? (There may be many silent parents on here.)
Bonus points if they ride bikes / avoid cars, are passionate about climate justice, are COVID conscious / interested in public health, or concerned about LLMs & surveillance capitalism (all relatively common on fedi no doubt, despite conditions in the outside world).
@skyfaller my kids are a little older, one entering the 1st grade already! But I always joke that around 12 months or so is the trap age where the kids get just easy enough to handle to trick you into thinking another wouldn't be so bad after all
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I'm a parent with a 9-month old baby looking to chat with other parents. Can you recommend fedi accounts of parents with younger children who talk about parenting? (There may be many silent parents on here.)
Bonus points if they ride bikes / avoid cars, are passionate about climate justice, are COVID conscious / interested in public health, or concerned about LLMs & surveillance capitalism (all relatively common on fedi no doubt, despite conditions in the outside world).
@skyfaller I'm past newborn, but mine are still young! Unfortunately I'm pretty quiet over here.
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@coreysnipes @adriano @Lyle Well right now baby won't sleep unless Mom is feeding her to sleep, baby won't let me help at all. Very inconvenient since I'm the housedad and I was previously taking care of her nap times all day.
Being a full-time caregiver is also a personal challenge.
@skyfaller @coreysnipes @adriano @Lyle well both my children are teenagers now, but both had those phases were they only wanted one parent, but they also had phases were they only wanted the other parent.
I know one always questions oneself in the phase one is not wanted, but rest assured, it will pass.
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I'm a parent with a 9-month old baby looking to chat with other parents. Can you recommend fedi accounts of parents with younger children who talk about parenting? (There may be many silent parents on here.)
Bonus points if they ride bikes / avoid cars, are passionate about climate justice, are COVID conscious / interested in public health, or concerned about LLMs & surveillance capitalism (all relatively common on fedi no doubt, despite conditions in the outside world).
@skyfaller got a 2 year old and STILL reeling whom the fact I'm a dad now, surreal.. And yes, constantly concerned about the state of the world by child's gonna grow up in, even at the most basic local level, from entertainment to education to his immediate circle of aquantances or role models =/
UK based -
I'm a parent with a 9-month old baby looking to chat with other parents. Can you recommend fedi accounts of parents with younger children who talk about parenting? (There may be many silent parents on here.)
Bonus points if they ride bikes / avoid cars, are passionate about climate justice, are COVID conscious / interested in public health, or concerned about LLMs & surveillance capitalism (all relatively common on fedi no doubt, despite conditions in the outside world).
@skyfaller you should definitely connect with @juliette, @Pepijn and their hobbit
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I'm a parent with a 9-month old baby looking to chat with other parents. Can you recommend fedi accounts of parents with younger children who talk about parenting? (There may be many silent parents on here.)
Bonus points if they ride bikes / avoid cars, are passionate about climate justice, are COVID conscious / interested in public health, or concerned about LLMs & surveillance capitalism (all relatively common on fedi no doubt, despite conditions in the outside world).
@skyfaller
Nelson, I am 84 so I can't give you everyday advice. But, I have one piece of advice that I personally did and never regretted. When my son was an early teen, I told him that I would not judge if he ever had trouble and needed me. One night, he called from a party for me to get him. He is now in his 50s. We get on well together.
Short of this. Be there for your child - no judgment.
