Why are there usb ports on the microwave?

[rlstone4dems@mastodon.social]

@futurebird In all seriousness: I wonder what the US ports are for?

[amsomniac@mastodon.mit.edu]

@futurebird ubikey lock feature

[essjax@essjax.com]

@futurebird theyre Uncooked Sausage Buttons

[mostlytato@mstdn.social]

@futurebird
So you can boot it to Linux!

[alwirtes@indieweb.social]

@futurebird Spoon holders

[masp@wandering.shop]

@futurebird it’s for heating up US Beef.

[cyclotopie@mastodon.gougere.fr]

@superflippy @futurebird

Possibly you can plug in an old DVD burner or two and prepare nice-though-brownish pancakes to go along with your microwave reheated instant coffee?

[lizzie@brain.worm.pink]

@futurebird woahh your microwave can handle two players? mine can only take one

[hypolite@friendica.mrpetovan.com]

@rlstone4dems @futurebird Charging mobile devices in your kitchen area. Tablets are being used as recipe book for example.

[ggmcbg@mstdn.plus]

@futurebird

To combat microwave fish stink at work, you can plug-in 2 high-power air diffusers nearby, and if you hear them running when you're down the hall you know it's time to leave for lunch because Rhonda has friggin' leftover crab cakes and chowder and it's Monday, Rhonda, for cryin' out loud, it's only Monday.

[kboyd@phpc.social]

@futurebird to install additional magnetrons

[dlakelan@mastodon.sdf.org]

@dtl @futurebird

Someone already said kink reasons.

[norombasic@mastodon.world]

@futurebird

For future DMCA updates...

[marshray@infosec.exchange]

@futurebird keyboard and mouse, obs

[voiceofduum@mindly.social]

@futurebird during a power outage you can bridge the two ports to zap some ramen

[astronomy_a2z@mstdn.social]

@futurebird Because Universal Serial Buses powered by Love aren't as effecient as those powered by Microwaves.

[shadowfals@toot.cat]

@futurebird @jf_718

Power your anti-microwave vest and hat while watching the microwave cook your food, clay figurines, or anti-magic typing glove that's become saturated with vibes.

[bryanredeagle@beige.party]

@futurebird Phone defroster

[khleedril@cyberplace.social]

@admin @futurebird ... because you always do that on the kitchen worktop.

[leadore@sunny.garden]

@futurebird
To trick you into plugging your phone in so it can steal all the data on it and/or to appropriate the phone's online connectivity to phone home and upload all the recordings it made of your conversations.

Disclaimer: I have no idea if this is a right or wrong answer.