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  3. Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

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  • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

    @vkc ugh. I saw your earlier post and I'm so sorry 🫂

    A *lot* of (mostly) guys need to learn the difference between appropriate, consensual flirting, and sexual harassment.

    aprazeth@mstdn.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
    aprazeth@mstdn.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
    aprazeth@mstdn.social
    wrote sidst redigeret af
    #52

    @alice @vkc

    Absolutely. We, as men, *must* step up. Not only with standing against sexual harassment; but also the "edgy" comments

    Its easy to spout as a man you'd stand against brutality. But yet we're often quiet when women, POC, are ignored, belittled, etc.

    Creating a world where we all are safe from harm is stopping **all** forms of harassment, staring, belittling, catcalling. At. All. Times.

    Men, we need to do better and hold each other accountable. For everyone, including ourselves

    aprazeth@mstdn.socialA 1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

      @bob I always report and block. My problem is I need the collective *you* to report and block. And more.

      bob@beamship.mpaq.orgB This user is from outside of this forum
      bob@beamship.mpaq.orgB This user is from outside of this forum
      bob@beamship.mpaq.org
      wrote sidst redigeret af
      #53

      @vkc

      Im an admin over here and when i see it, I become a pitbull 😉

      1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • byrnensorg@mastodon.ieB byrnensorg@mastodon.ie

        @alice @vkc I think you are too generous in assuming the *lot* can learn anything at this stage, it's like teaching a hammer 'there are other things than nails you know'.

        alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
        alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
        alice@lgbtqia.space
        wrote sidst redigeret af
        #54

        @byrnensorg I gotta believe we can do better than this, because the alternative is pretty fucking sad.

        @vkc

        byrnensorg@mastodon.ieB 1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

          @eq "don't let the idiots get you" - do you see how that puts it on me?

          I trust you mean well, but respectfully: no. The correct response is "men should fight back when they see this amongst themselves."

          It isn't my responsibility to "not let them get me down." It's men who need to step up and fight this battle.

          f4grx@chaos.socialF This user is from outside of this forum
          f4grx@chaos.socialF This user is from outside of this forum
          f4grx@chaos.social
          wrote sidst redigeret af
          #55

          @vkc @eq that had to be said ❤️

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • mloxton@med-mastodon.comM mloxton@med-mastodon.com

            @bob

            I think the "I" in that reply needs to be "you" and "me" for that to work.
            If it is just the woman doing the moderation, then those guys just keep doing it, and it becomes "women's work".

            @vkc

            bob@beamship.mpaq.orgB This user is from outside of this forum
            bob@beamship.mpaq.orgB This user is from outside of this forum
            bob@beamship.mpaq.org
            wrote sidst redigeret af
            #56

            @mloxton @vkc

            When/if i see it on Beamship, i become a pitbull...

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • aprazeth@mstdn.socialA aprazeth@mstdn.social

              @alice @vkc

              Absolutely. We, as men, *must* step up. Not only with standing against sexual harassment; but also the "edgy" comments

              Its easy to spout as a man you'd stand against brutality. But yet we're often quiet when women, POC, are ignored, belittled, etc.

              Creating a world where we all are safe from harm is stopping **all** forms of harassment, staring, belittling, catcalling. At. All. Times.

              Men, we need to do better and hold each other accountable. For everyone, including ourselves

              aprazeth@mstdn.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
              aprazeth@mstdn.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
              aprazeth@mstdn.social
              wrote sidst redigeret af
              #57

              @alice @vkc

              And that also means at places and times where it is just men around.

              Especially then.

              Silence then is implied endorsement later.

              moondog548@nerdculture.deM 1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                @byrnensorg I gotta believe we can do better than this, because the alternative is pretty fucking sad.

                @vkc

                byrnensorg@mastodon.ieB This user is from outside of this forum
                byrnensorg@mastodon.ieB This user is from outside of this forum
                byrnensorg@mastodon.ie
                wrote sidst redigeret af
                #58

                @alice @vkc I have noticed today in multiple threads that there's a lot of anger out there and dare I say it, twittification, it's as if mastodon is morphing before our very eyes.

                alice@lgbtqia.spaceA 1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                  Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                  Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                  sablebadger@dice.campS This user is from outside of this forum
                  sablebadger@dice.campS This user is from outside of this forum
                  sablebadger@dice.camp
                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                  #59

                  @vkc sorry you have to deal with that shit. Dudes need to be better. You shouldn't have to put up with the extra BS just because you're a woman on the internet.

                  If I see I will do my best to call it out. Too much happens in places I can't see which I think is one of the few flaws Masto has. Not sure how to fix that tho. But if I can help I will.

                  1 Reply Last reply
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                  • jirikiha@raphus.socialJ jirikiha@raphus.social

                    @vkc men, do better.

                    Be a man in the internet. Talk about what you like. Cars, weather, trains, sports. See how the replies are on topic.

                    Be a woman on the internet. Talk about what you like.
                    Cars, weather, trains, sports. See the replies talking about your boobs. See the DMs filled with, "hey baby", and unsolicited dick pics.

                    If you are a man, you won't see most - or any! - of what women experience daily online. That doesn't mean it doesn't happen. Your just in a safe little bubble of privilege. Own it, and do better.

                    edgeofeurope@mastodon.socialE This user is from outside of this forum
                    edgeofeurope@mastodon.socialE This user is from outside of this forum
                    edgeofeurope@mastodon.social
                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                    #60

                    @Jirikiha @vkc Men know what men are like.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • jirikiha@raphus.socialJ jirikiha@raphus.social

                      @vkc men, do better.

                      Be a man in the internet. Talk about what you like. Cars, weather, trains, sports. See how the replies are on topic.

                      Be a woman on the internet. Talk about what you like.
                      Cars, weather, trains, sports. See the replies talking about your boobs. See the DMs filled with, "hey baby", and unsolicited dick pics.

                      If you are a man, you won't see most - or any! - of what women experience daily online. That doesn't mean it doesn't happen. Your just in a safe little bubble of privilege. Own it, and do better.

                      cris@social.lolC This user is from outside of this forum
                      cris@social.lolC This user is from outside of this forum
                      cris@social.lol
                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                      #61

                      @Jirikiha @alice @vkc See also: being white on the internet

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • haltroy@mastodon.socialH haltroy@mastodon.social

                        @Orb2069 @vkc It's 2026 and we still dealing with those people's "ideologies" from ancient times of humanity. It haunted everyone back in those days, it haunted everyone through ages and it still keeps haunting people till this moment.

                        moondog548@nerdculture.deM This user is from outside of this forum
                        moondog548@nerdculture.deM This user is from outside of this forum
                        moondog548@nerdculture.de
                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                        #62

                        @haltroy
                        And just like any disease we'll keep fighting it.
                        @Orb2069 @vkc

                        orb2069@mastodon.onlineO 2 Replies Last reply
                        0
                        • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                          Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                          Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                          regguy@mstdn.socialR This user is from outside of this forum
                          regguy@mstdn.socialR This user is from outside of this forum
                          regguy@mstdn.social
                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                          #63

                          @vkc Those of us who wouldn't see it much because it isn't directed at us and may never pass through our feed. I guess the best thing is to screenshot the harassment and post it for all to see so we can harass the harasser.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                            @eq "don't let the idiots get you" - do you see how that puts it on me?

                            I trust you mean well, but respectfully: no. The correct response is "men should fight back when they see this amongst themselves."

                            It isn't my responsibility to "not let them get me down." It's men who need to step up and fight this battle.

                            matildalove@wetdry.worldM This user is from outside of this forum
                            matildalove@wetdry.worldM This user is from outside of this forum
                            matildalove@wetdry.world
                            wrote sidst redigeret af
                            #64

                            @vkc @eq

                            hey men, don't let the idiots get me

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • aprazeth@mstdn.socialA aprazeth@mstdn.social

                              @alice @vkc

                              And that also means at places and times where it is just men around.

                              Especially then.

                              Silence then is implied endorsement later.

                              moondog548@nerdculture.deM This user is from outside of this forum
                              moondog548@nerdculture.deM This user is from outside of this forum
                              moondog548@nerdculture.de
                              wrote sidst redigeret af
                              #65

                              @Aprazeth
                              This is a huge opportunity. We need to learn *and teach eachother* how to call our brothers in when they're out of line.

                              We need to know what to do and make it a reflex!
                              @alice @vkc

                              alice@lgbtqia.spaceA aprazeth@mstdn.socialA 2 Replies Last reply
                              0
                              • mloxton@med-mastodon.comM mloxton@med-mastodon.com

                                @bob

                                I think the "I" in that reply needs to be "you" and "me" for that to work.
                                If it is just the woman doing the moderation, then those guys just keep doing it, and it becomes "women's work".

                                @vkc

                                regguy@mstdn.socialR This user is from outside of this forum
                                regguy@mstdn.socialR This user is from outside of this forum
                                regguy@mstdn.social
                                wrote sidst redigeret af
                                #66

                                @mloxton Matthew, I agree with you, we need to deal with it. But to be quite frank, I rarely see it. Not that I'm not looking, rather it's ususally beyond what is in my feed, and therefore I can't respond. I suggest we broadcast, or perhaps create a list that can be used and these women can PM that list with what's happening. I'd be happy to help, but I don't see it, thus I can't help. @bob @vkc

                                mloxton@med-mastodon.comM 1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                  Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                                  Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                                  carloshr@lile.clC This user is from outside of this forum
                                  carloshr@lile.clC This user is from outside of this forum
                                  carloshr@lile.cl
                                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                                  #67

                                  @vkc @Nickiquote fuck that guys! I consider necessary to expose them but even more important is ton promote a culture where that behaviour is never accepted.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • semitones@tiny.tilde.websiteS semitones@tiny.tilde.website

                                    @alice I think a lot of guys could also benefit from reading your "sucker punch" post about open registration and moderation. It def opened my eyes so how others are treated on here and elsewhere...

                                    https://lgbtqia.space/@alice/115499829288185416

                                    @vkc

                                    duckwhistle@mastodon.org.ukD This user is from outside of this forum
                                    duckwhistle@mastodon.org.ukD This user is from outside of this forum
                                    duckwhistle@mastodon.org.uk
                                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                                    #68

                                    @semitones @alice @vkc
                                    made me take notice too!

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • regguy@mstdn.socialR regguy@mstdn.social

                                      @mloxton Matthew, I agree with you, we need to deal with it. But to be quite frank, I rarely see it. Not that I'm not looking, rather it's ususally beyond what is in my feed, and therefore I can't respond. I suggest we broadcast, or perhaps create a list that can be used and these women can PM that list with what's happening. I'd be happy to help, but I don't see it, thus I can't help. @bob @vkc

                                      mloxton@med-mastodon.comM This user is from outside of this forum
                                      mloxton@med-mastodon.comM This user is from outside of this forum
                                      mloxton@med-mastodon.com
                                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                                      #69

                                      @RegGuy

                                      I hear you, and the same situation exists wrt racism. People of color say they get a ton of racist interactions, but I don't see it, so don't respond.

                                      I think three things are going on:
                                      1. There are things that *I* don't perceive as racist/sexist, but are experienced as such by the target. That bc the perpetrator is modulating to escape detection
                                      2. There are things that I haven't realized are racist and sexist, and I need to educate myself
                                      3. I am not in those environments
                                      @bob @vkc

                                      regguy@mstdn.socialR sri@mastodon.socialS 2 Replies Last reply
                                      0
                                      • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                        Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                                        Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                                        stux@mstdn.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                        stux@mstdn.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                        stux@mstdn.social
                                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                                        #70

                                        @vkc Very sorry this happened! ❤️

                                        Unfort it does matter on what instance one is since the blocklists are tied to instances and not federated

                                        There is a very dark corner in the Fedi and those domains should be blocked on instance level by default

                                        We started out with a long list, after 6 years its only gotten longer and longer but its needed, very much

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                          Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                                          Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                                          troglet@mastodon.socialT This user is from outside of this forum
                                          troglet@mastodon.socialT This user is from outside of this forum
                                          troglet@mastodon.social
                                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                                          #71

                                          @vkc Well, that's disappointing. Sorry you had to do that. I do what I can when I see it, but of course I'm only one person.

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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