Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.
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@eq "don't let the idiots get you" - do you see how that puts it on me?
I trust you mean well, but respectfully: no. The correct response is "men should fight back when they see this amongst themselves."
It isn't my responsibility to "not let them get me down." It's men who need to step up and fight this battle.
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Absolutely. We, as men, *must* step up. Not only with standing against sexual harassment; but also the "edgy" comments
Its easy to spout as a man you'd stand against brutality. But yet we're often quiet when women, POC, are ignored, belittled, etc.
Creating a world where we all are safe from harm is stopping **all** forms of harassment, staring, belittling, catcalling. At. All. Times.
Men, we need to do better and hold each other accountable. For everyone, including ourselves
And that also means at places and times where it is just men around.
Especially then.
Silence then is implied endorsement later.
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@byrnensorg I gotta believe we can do better than this, because the alternative is pretty fucking sad.
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Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.
Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.
@vkc sorry you have to deal with that shit. Dudes need to be better. You shouldn't have to put up with the extra BS just because you're a woman on the internet.
If I see I will do my best to call it out. Too much happens in places I can't see which I think is one of the few flaws Masto has. Not sure how to fix that tho. But if I can help I will.
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@vkc men, do better.
Be a man in the internet. Talk about what you like. Cars, weather, trains, sports. See how the replies are on topic.
Be a woman on the internet. Talk about what you like.
Cars, weather, trains, sports. See the replies talking about your boobs. See the DMs filled with, "hey baby", and unsolicited dick pics.If you are a man, you won't see most - or any! - of what women experience daily online. That doesn't mean it doesn't happen. Your just in a safe little bubble of privilege. Own it, and do better.
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@vkc men, do better.
Be a man in the internet. Talk about what you like. Cars, weather, trains, sports. See how the replies are on topic.
Be a woman on the internet. Talk about what you like.
Cars, weather, trains, sports. See the replies talking about your boobs. See the DMs filled with, "hey baby", and unsolicited dick pics.If you are a man, you won't see most - or any! - of what women experience daily online. That doesn't mean it doesn't happen. Your just in a safe little bubble of privilege. Own it, and do better.
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Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.
Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.
@vkc Those of us who wouldn't see it much because it isn't directed at us and may never pass through our feed. I guess the best thing is to screenshot the harassment and post it for all to see so we can harass the harasser.
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@eq "don't let the idiots get you" - do you see how that puts it on me?
I trust you mean well, but respectfully: no. The correct response is "men should fight back when they see this amongst themselves."
It isn't my responsibility to "not let them get me down." It's men who need to step up and fight this battle.
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@Aprazeth
This is a huge opportunity. We need to learn *and teach eachother* how to call our brothers in when they're out of line. -
@mloxton Matthew, I agree with you, we need to deal with it. But to be quite frank, I rarely see it. Not that I'm not looking, rather it's ususally beyond what is in my feed, and therefore I can't respond. I suggest we broadcast, or perhaps create a list that can be used and these women can PM that list with what's happening. I'd be happy to help, but I don't see it, thus I can't help. @bob @vkc
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Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.
Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.
@vkc @Nickiquote fuck that guys! I consider necessary to expose them but even more important is ton promote a culture where that behaviour is never accepted.
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@alice I think a lot of guys could also benefit from reading your "sucker punch" post about open registration and moderation. It def opened my eyes so how others are treated on here and elsewhere...
@semitones @alice @vkc
made me take notice too! -
@mloxton Matthew, I agree with you, we need to deal with it. But to be quite frank, I rarely see it. Not that I'm not looking, rather it's ususally beyond what is in my feed, and therefore I can't respond. I suggest we broadcast, or perhaps create a list that can be used and these women can PM that list with what's happening. I'd be happy to help, but I don't see it, thus I can't help. @bob @vkc
I hear you, and the same situation exists wrt racism. People of color say they get a ton of racist interactions, but I don't see it, so don't respond.
I think three things are going on:
1. There are things that *I* don't perceive as racist/sexist, but are experienced as such by the target. That bc the perpetrator is modulating to escape detection
2. There are things that I haven't realized are racist and sexist, and I need to educate myself
3. I am not in those environments
@bob @vkc -
Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.
Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.
@vkc Very sorry this happened!
️ Unfort it does matter on what instance one is since the blocklists are tied to instances and not federated
There is a very dark corner in the Fedi and those domains should be blocked on instance level by default
We started out with a long list, after 6 years its only gotten longer and longer but its needed, very much
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Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.
Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.
@vkc Well, that's disappointing. Sorry you had to do that. I do what I can when I see it, but of course I'm only one person.
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Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.
Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.
@vkc oh JFC. I am sorry.
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@byrnensorg there's good reason for a lot of anger at some things. The problems have always been here too, but due to active moderation and the nature of federation, it can be less visible (except to the people who get sucker-punched).
Also, the only way we keep Fedi from becoming Twitter is by believing the victims instead of the trolls.
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I hear you, and the same situation exists wrt racism. People of color say they get a ton of racist interactions, but I don't see it, so don't respond.
I think three things are going on:
1. There are things that *I* don't perceive as racist/sexist, but are experienced as such by the target. That bc the perpetrator is modulating to escape detection
2. There are things that I haven't realized are racist and sexist, and I need to educate myself
3. I am not in those environments
@bob @vkc@mloxton There is an excellent book, "How to Be an Antiracist," by Ibram X. Kendi. Sexism has become a more difficult thing, as in some cases, it's in the eye of the recipient. I take anything like a slight only because they are the opposite sex to be sexism; that goes both ways. I think there is a lot of overt sexism that's easy to spot. If someone is harassing another, that's not necessarily sexism, but certainly harassment, and occurs more toward women than men, to be sure. @bob @vkc
