This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

[aura@sunny.garden]

@alice Nothing like inserting my boobs in the bowl and giving them a spritz! v. refreshing

[mercurial@booping.synth.download]

@alice@lgbtqia.space Reminds me of the bidet controls in Japan. IIRC there was a button for when you need to clean your #1 hole and another for the #2 hole.

EDIT: oh, the image shows that the brand is Toto, so I think it is the same as the ones in Japan

[wtl@mastodon.social]

@alice Good thing you packed your trusty label-maker?

[apostateenglishman@mastodon.world]

@alice Despite my conspicuous lack of boobs, I wouldn't mind trying the boob wash! Sounds like fun.

[alice@lgbtqia.space]

@lukeharby walking out of the bathroom like:

[alice@lgbtqia.space]

@aura right?

Sometimes you get sweaty in a bra.

[oli@olifant.social]

@ApostateEnglishman @alice For disambiguation, I question if perhaps that's an ass wash. A clear button for dudes who don't wash their ass, they added a button, even.

[oli@olifant.social]

@ApostateEnglishman @alice Okay, I guess there's technically a 'bidet' looking option....

[lukeharby@infosec.exchange]

@alice At best.

[aura@sunny.garden]

@alice tell me about it. It's a hot summer and I've discovered that boob sweat really is a thing now.

[paul_ipv6@infosec.exchange]

@alice

every time i've been to japan, i come back very disappointed at US toilets.

[bob_zim@infosec.exchange]

@alexadeswift @alice As a serious answer, it’s the blow dryer.

[alice@lgbtqia.space]

@lukeharby yeah, it would need a "take 20 years off" to make me look like that.

[nina_kali_nina@tech.lgbt]

@alice some of these toilets actually have volume controls and a selector for the OST. I like the nature sounds OST, it's very calming

[petrillic@hachyderm.io]

@paul_ipv6 @alice funny story. I got to travel to Japan in the late 1980s with my dad. He was doing something with Matsushita, and I was sort of on my own.

We had a bidet in our hotel room. But as a kid from Texas I didn’t even know the word bidet. And all the buttons (and there were many many buttons) were labeled only in Kanji. No iconography.

Discovery was a string (stream?) of surprises!

Also I will never understand Americans aversion to washing their privates.

[alice@lgbtqia.space]

@nina_kali_nina my rice cooker plays "Mary Had a Little Lamb", when it's done, and now I want a bidet that plays "Surfin' USA".

[lukeharby@infosec.exchange]

@alice Oh no, I meant all the detritus from the toilet! Oh heck!

[petterofcats@mastodon.world]

@alice boob wash is the best

[grumpydad@infosec.exchange]

@alice You wouldn't happen to be in Japan by chance?

[nina_kali_nina@tech.lgbt]

@alice do you have access to the control panel? If yes, you're in luck, there should be an SD card slot and it can load mp3s from there: https://qa.toto.jp/togo/qa/qadoc/016/Q0965_20180312_113617_A001.pdf

(Assuming this model supports playing audio)