Amsterdam murder rate: extremely low
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@0xabad1dea I am genuinely curious about the "random foreigner tries to cross the street over uneven wet cobblestones, narrowly avoids a speeding bicycle, runs scared to avoid an incoming tram, slips on an slippery tramway rail and gets crushed by an Uber making a U-turn" rate.
@mbpaz @0xabad1dea surprisingly low because streets are designed for all types of traffic to interact (and therefore accidents happen at lower, less fatal speeds). As a cyclist I usually just go around these people just fine (though I will shout at them). Tram deaths are a thing though.
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@0xabad1dea@infosec.exchange this is why we throw young children fully clothed into the pool and learn them to swim that way (no joke either)
@syn @0xabad1dea i do indeed literally remember having to also swim fully clothed to get my first swimming diploma -
@Pouakai @doboprobodyne this is such a mastodon typical back and forth
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@0xabad1dea Is it possible the assassins’ guild of Amsterdam has figured out how to avoid investigation by hitting the target over the head, unzipping his fly, and tossing him in the canal?
@NYSloth @0xabad1dea what is the watery equivalent of “inhume”?
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@jmopp @0xabad1dea @navi When I lived there I took rowing lessons at a public outfit at the Berlagebrug, I presume they’re still going. In winter with the short daylight hours you end up rowing through the canals at night, it’s utterly magical.
@tikitu @jmopp @0xabad1dea @navi i see teams from there regularly doing training sessions down the Weespertrekvart
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@0xabad1dea@infosec.exchange Simply make every tourist wear a mandatory life-vest at all times 🧠
@ClaireH @0xabad1dea why stop there? Mandatory hamster ball for every tourist.
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Amsterdam murder rate: extremely low
Amsterdam drunk man attempts to relieve himself into canal, falls in, hits his head and drowns rate: extremely high
Plan your tourism accordingly.
This is not a joke, this is literally true. Amsterdam is probably the only place that has ever built more public toilets with the specific aim of reducing deaths by drowning.
@0xabad1dea
Here in Denmark they paint the ladders out of the water orange and place a light over them - but I'm not aware of any statistics on how many drowned drunk men were found with their fly open.Maybe we have the wrong solution. I mean we can often learn from the Dutch, especially related to water.
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@ClaireH @0xabad1dea why stop there? Mandatory hamster ball for every tourist.
@Frantasaur@mastodon.ie @0xabad1dea@infosec.exchange As someone who lives in a tourist town, I heartily support this
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Amsterdam murder rate: extremely low
Amsterdam drunk man attempts to relieve himself into canal, falls in, hits his head and drowns rate: extremely high
Plan your tourism accordingly.
This is not a joke, this is literally true. Amsterdam is probably the only place that has ever built more public toilets with the specific aim of reducing deaths by drowning.
@0xabad1dea Meanwhile England is only beginning to wake up to deaths by drowning because Brits don't understand that just because there's a body of water, it's not necessarily safe to swim in when you're boiling your skin off in yet another heatwave.
Especially if you don't actually know how to swim.
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@0xabad1dea@infosec.exchange Simply make every tourist wear a mandatory life-vest at all times 🧠
@ClaireH@blahaj.zone @0xabad1dea@infosec.exchange post sponsored by Big Lifevest
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Amsterdam murder rate: extremely low
Amsterdam drunk man attempts to relieve himself into canal, falls in, hits his head and drowns rate: extremely high
Plan your tourism accordingly.
This is not a joke, this is literally true. Amsterdam is probably the only place that has ever built more public toilets with the specific aim of reducing deaths by drowning.
@0xabad1dea rest of the Netherlands feels like always half an hour walk to the nearest one
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@0xabad1dea@infosec.exchange this is why we throw young children fully clothed into the pool and learn them to swim that way (no joke either)
@syn @0xabad1dea I've heard from probably multiple people that they never learnt because this was their first experience with water and they ended up too traumatized by it to ever learn...
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Amsterdam murder rate: extremely low
Amsterdam drunk man attempts to relieve himself into canal, falls in, hits his head and drowns rate: extremely high
Plan your tourism accordingly.
This is not a joke, this is literally true. Amsterdam is probably the only place that has ever built more public toilets with the specific aim of reducing deaths by drowning.
@0xabad1dea Meanwhile, in Ireland after a rise in injuries and deaths involving e-scooters (most, it seems, involving other vehicles, though that doesn't seem to be reported as much), the establishment seems to have decided that they need harsher laws against e-scooter, e-bike users and cyclists in general.
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Amsterdam murder rate: extremely low
Amsterdam drunk man attempts to relieve himself into canal, falls in, hits his head and drowns rate: extremely high
Plan your tourism accordingly.
This is not a joke, this is literally true. Amsterdam is probably the only place that has ever built more public toilets with the specific aim of reducing deaths by drowning.
@0xabad1dea https://speld.nl/2012/02/24/plassen-in-de-gracht-doe-het-doordacht/ And a course on how to piss in the canals safely!
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Amsterdam murder rate: extremely low
Amsterdam drunk man attempts to relieve himself into canal, falls in, hits his head and drowns rate: extremely high
Plan your tourism accordingly.
This is not a joke, this is literally true. Amsterdam is probably the only place that has ever built more public toilets with the specific aim of reducing deaths by drowning.
@0xabad1dea Is a serious thing.But i can't stop laughing for some reason
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@mbpaz @0xabad1dea surprisingly low because streets are designed for all types of traffic to interact (and therefore accidents happen at lower, less fatal speeds). As a cyclist I usually just go around these people just fine (though I will shout at them). Tram deaths are a thing though.
@Frantasaur @0xabad1dea I've been in Amsterdam maybe 15 times in the past 20 years and I am still surprised I've never been run over by a cyclist riding and carrying shopping bags in one hand and a phone in another hand and an umbrella in another hand (I'd swear they do)
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@0xabad1dea https://speld.nl/2012/02/24/plassen-in-de-gracht-doe-het-doordacht/ And a course on how to piss in the canals safely!
@KeithWM the part where he ties his support rope to the public urinal is a nice touch
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Amsterdam murder rate: extremely low
Amsterdam drunk man attempts to relieve himself into canal, falls in, hits his head and drowns rate: extremely high
Plan your tourism accordingly.
This is not a joke, this is literally true. Amsterdam is probably the only place that has ever built more public toilets with the specific aim of reducing deaths by drowning.
@0xabad1dea This gives me ideas both for my tourism and my murders.
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@Frantasaur@mastodon.ie @0xabad1dea@infosec.exchange As someone who lives in a tourist town, I heartily support this
@ClaireH @0xabad1dea @Frantasaur
If it's tourism season and why can't we shot them?
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@0xabad1dea@infosec.exchange this is why we throw young children fully clothed into the pool and learn them to swim that way (no joke either)
@syn @0xabad1dea 'it was easy once I got untied' (this is a reference)
