I have been slowly befriending one of the local cats that comes into our garden sometimes.
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@astronomerritt about a month or so. I'm doing my best to be patient. Even being able to pet him while moving around like solid snake is a huge improvement on a few weeks ago. He's hanging out with me in my office RN so I think he's tolerating me.
@heavyimage Oooh, that he chooses to hang out with you is a great sign, he trusts you to keep him safe at least! Sounds like he’s making a lot of progress 🥰
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@astronomerritt (though he's here because of the birdfeeder I set up outside that he is LASER FOCUSED on)
@heavyimage ha! that probably helps. windows that look onto birds are basically cat televisions
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@heavyimage ha! that probably helps. windows that look onto birds are basically cat televisions
@astronomerritt Yes little do the birds realized they are being fed for entertainment! Best not to think about it too hard.
By birds I of course mean squirrels.
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@astronomerritt all cats are autistic
@alicemcalicepants this is so true though
cats communicate honestly, hate prolonged eye contact, have strong boundaries and preferences, tend to prefer cosy, enclosed and dim surroundings, and are often mistaken for aloof or cold by people who just don’t understand their behaviour (and won’t bother trying) -
I have been slowly befriending one of the local cats that comes into our garden sometimes. He is very skittish but will now happily sit a little way away while I garden, will exchange slow blinks with me, and will let me within about two feet of him.
I basically just talk to him whenever I see him, slowly approach, and as soon as he starts to look nervous I stop and retreat. He used to bolt whenever I opened the back door so this is progress. Maybe one day I can pet him but if not he’s welcome to be my lil gardening supervisor.
@astronomerritt soon, he will lie on your couch or in your bed
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Making friends with cats is mostly about proving that you’re safe and then just not bothering them. Cats tend to like me and I swear at least 80% of this is that I respect their boundaries.
@astronomerritt it sounds like such an easy thing to do! No idea why it's so hard for some people
That's why cats love me, too -
@astronomerritt soon, he will lie on your couch or in your bed
@DrJLecter He’s the neighbour’s cat so I won’t encourage this too much
and I certainly won’t be feeding him. He’s a little bit chonky, honestly, especially for an outside cat. -
@astronomerritt it sounds like such an easy thing to do! No idea why it's so hard for some people
That's why cats love me, too @DrJLecter I think “cute kitty!!!” just overwhelms a lot of folk. Understandable! Cats are very cute!
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this is also partially why cats like to come bother you when you’re focused on something else. your behaviour is relaxed and predictable, you’re not making eye contact with them, you’re broadcasting “chill” in cat language.
of course, if the cat is your friend, they also simply want your love and attention, and you don’t seem to be doing anything important to a cat. you’re clearly not hunting or sleeping or eating. so why not cuddle time??? why stare at the glowy box when you could be PETTING THE CAT.
why indeed, honestly.
one more fun fact about cats:
in South Korea, cat lovers are called 집사 or jibsa, which can be translated as “butler”.
we’re cat butlers. feels accurate!
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one more fun fact about cats:
in South Korea, cat lovers are called 집사 or jibsa, which can be translated as “butler”.
we’re cat butlers. feels accurate!
@astronomerritt
That's wonderful! -
one more fun fact about cats:
in South Korea, cat lovers are called 집사 or jibsa, which can be translated as “butler”.
we’re cat butlers. feels accurate!
@astronomerritt this tracks! XD
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this is also partially why cats like to come bother you when you’re focused on something else. your behaviour is relaxed and predictable, you’re not making eye contact with them, you’re broadcasting “chill” in cat language.
of course, if the cat is your friend, they also simply want your love and attention, and you don’t seem to be doing anything important to a cat. you’re clearly not hunting or sleeping or eating. so why not cuddle time??? why stare at the glowy box when you could be PETTING THE CAT.
why indeed, honestly.
@astronomerritt And all those movements your hands are making on a keyboard, they look like cat petting movements, so the cat naturally wants to lie right there.
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@astronomerritt And all those movements your hands are making on a keyboard, they look like cat petting movements, so the cat naturally wants to lie right there.
@aegir Of course. Why pet that hard rattly plastic thing when you could pet The Cat?
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@DrJLecter He’s the neighbour’s cat so I won’t encourage this too much
and I certainly won’t be feeding him. He’s a little bit chonky, honestly, especially for an outside cat.@astronomerritt gotcha! Not that this discouraged my parents' neighbour cat from moving in full time in old age or my sister's cat besiege the neighbour's house
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@DrJLecter I think “cute kitty!!!” just overwhelms a lot of folk. Understandable! Cats are very cute!
@astronomerritt trufax! (Do people still say this
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this is why cats seem to gravitate towards the one person in a room who doesn’t like cats. it isn’t spite or contrariness! it’s just that the cat-disliking person ISN’T BOTHERING THEM.
cats often find human behaviour confusing! but a human sitting there minding their own business and not looking at them is honestly pretty cat behaviour, and thus comprehensible to them as “relaxed, predictable, not being weird or threatening”
@astronomerritt Reminds me of college when i accidentally socialized a friend's cat. She had two, one was relatively friendly and one she adopted after finding it abandoned as a kitten and it was terrified of everything. She went on study abroad for a term and left the cats with a second friend, with whom I was sharing an apartment. And me being me I spent many of my weekends reading in the couch. And eventually kitty number two would perch in the couch, and be ignored by me because book. So my friend gets home and we all move back to our normal house (it was being renovated) and one day I wander over to her room and she notices that other than her & her boyfriend I'm literally the only person kitty two doesn't hide from. Kitty two was never going to come up to me and want pets, but I was clearly "safe enough" that she could keep sitting on my friend's desk and didn't have to go hide when I stopped by.
I think that made me a cat person despite the fact her little brats (affectionate) decided my brand new bath mat was a litter box (mirrored apartment, the litter box was in the other bathroom, but one of the people in that bedroom had her boyfriend over and shut them out, so what they did was both very smart and extremely passive aggressive).
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this is why cats seem to gravitate towards the one person in a room who doesn’t like cats. it isn’t spite or contrariness! it’s just that the cat-disliking person ISN’T BOTHERING THEM.
cats often find human behaviour confusing! but a human sitting there minding their own business and not looking at them is honestly pretty cat behaviour, and thus comprehensible to them as “relaxed, predictable, not being weird or threatening”
@astronomerritt I read that it's also often that the unconscious body language we give off when we don't like something and don't want it anywhere near us - turning away, narrowing of eyes, etc. - actually means the opposite to cats! They think you're giving off safe and friendly vibes. 🤭
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one more fun fact about cats:
in South Korea, cat lovers are called 집사 or jibsa, which can be translated as “butler”.
we’re cat butlers. feels accurate!
@astronomerritt I'm in this post and I'm not sure I like it!
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this is also partially why cats like to come bother you when you’re focused on something else. your behaviour is relaxed and predictable, you’re not making eye contact with them, you’re broadcasting “chill” in cat language.
of course, if the cat is your friend, they also simply want your love and attention, and you don’t seem to be doing anything important to a cat. you’re clearly not hunting or sleeping or eating. so why not cuddle time??? why stare at the glowy box when you could be PETTING THE CAT.
why indeed, honestly.
@astronomerritt occasionally cats completely reject this and are just like HELLO YES PLAY WITH ME. there was a local one we nicknamed socks who ran up to me in the street and let me pick him up and give him fuss. no slow blink timid approach stuff, just right in with the hugs. we moved and I still miss him.
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this is why cats seem to gravitate towards the one person in a room who doesn’t like cats. it isn’t spite or contrariness! it’s just that the cat-disliking person ISN’T BOTHERING THEM.
cats often find human behaviour confusing! but a human sitting there minding their own business and not looking at them is honestly pretty cat behaviour, and thus comprehensible to them as “relaxed, predictable, not being weird or threatening”
@astronomerritt but they’re soft and huggable, and they make good vibrations—distressingly, they sometimes do this when scared which leads uninitiated, but well-meaning, cat-botherer to continue picking up and snuggling their furry butts.
