Every time a newcomer posts an introduction and somebody tells them they shouldn’t have joined Mastodon.social and need to move to a different server, an angel loses their wings.
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@CiaraNi Ah yes, when I finally joined Mastodon.Online after nuking my Twitter and much deliberation (and no knowledge of Fedi) chose it because it was a large instance (find lots of folks fast!), had a good policy/values statement, was run by the org, and seemed most likely to stick around and have dedicated resources for maintnenace and moderation.
Got my share of ugh, why that server did you know X thing about it, etc.
Why no, I didn't, I just fucking got here and know nothing of the inside
@CiaraNi A handful of years on, I would rather self-host with masto.host or (ideally) via NextCloud Social, but identies are not fully portable yet and NextCloud Social doesn't work, like at all.
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Ditto:
'Why are you still on Bluesky too?'
'But did you *delete* your Twitter account?'
’You said you switched to Proton mail too, oh that’s bad, once someone at Proton said something’
It’s nice to see new neighbours move into the Fediverse. It feels unwelcoming to see people immediately interview them about the purity of their intentions. Or telling them You’re Doing It Wrong. They've just arrived on a journey away from Big Tech. Maybe they'd prefer to be offered a seat and a cup of tea.
@CiaraNi That "someone at Proton once said something" sums up so much. There is no winning with some people. We know everything is problematic if you look hard enough. Short of going off grid and living in a cabin in the woods, we've all got to work out our own compromises until things improve.
And some people keep their Twitter accounts so nobody else can use the name and potentially impersonate them. I see no problem in that. I deleted mine, but I see why some people don't.
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@CiaraNi It's so annoying. Give people time to figure stuff out. I joined on the general UK server, and I'd have been quite annoyed to be immediately told I was Wrong
. After a few days of figuring stuff out I moved to a different, smaller, one - which was good training wheels for my recent move to my current one, with a much more mature account. Sweaty palms moment.@beecycling Agreed. Let people settle in and work out how it all works. If they want to move server or ask about the merits of different open-source alternatives, they will do so in their own good time.
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@johnlorimer @CiaraNi It's impossible to effectively moderate such a huge server, so you have this catch-22 where the server is a vector for spam and harassment, but can be seen as "too big to block" because such a large percentage of the network lives there.
Overall it's bad for the health of the Fediverse, so some block it regardless and advocate for folks moving off and the server closing registrations.
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@annika @johnlorimer I'll never find it welcoming to tell people who've just arrived, literally just joined Mastodon, that they're on the wrong server when it is not a server doing something actually despicable & egregious. I often see people going into the replies of Hello, Mastodon! introductions to give the newcomer unsolicited instructions to move server or questioning the way they are moving from Big Tech.
Edit to add: I know you didn't do this! You just answered an asked question (thanks)
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@annika @johnlorimer I'll never find it welcoming to tell people who've just arrived, literally just joined Mastodon, that they're on the wrong server when it is not a server doing something actually despicable & egregious. I often see people going into the replies of Hello, Mastodon! introductions to give the newcomer unsolicited instructions to move server or questioning the way they are moving from Big Tech.
Edit to add: I know you didn't do this! You just answered an asked question (thanks)
@CiaraNi @johnlorimer yeah it's kind of a dick move and not very welcoming, as you said. Unfortunate that the server's so big, they often get lost in the noise.
(I disagree about the "despicable and egregious" bit but we don't need to get into it.)
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@CiaraNi nobody can perform purity perfectly. We're all just doing the best we can with what we've got. And on that note, would you like some tea?
@rgarner Why thank you, yes, that'd be nice. No sugar, a drop of milk, and strong enough for a mouse to trot across, please.
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@rgarner Why thank you, yes, that'd be nice. No sugar, a drop of milk, and strong enough for a mouse to trot across, please.
@CiaraNi two teabags and three minutes in the cup <blows smoking finger guns>
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@CiaraNi two teabags and three minutes in the cup <blows smoking finger guns>
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@johnlorimer What are the big reasons you decided to stick with Mastodon?
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Every time a newcomer posts an introduction and somebody tells them they shouldn’t have joined Mastodon.social and need to move to a different server, an angel loses their wings.
@CiaraNi Indeed, that's unbearable and I see it all the time.
this might also in part explain why mastodon felt and still feels complex, elitarian and not so fun to many people, when they had to decide where to go after "the diaspora".(also no the best to assault people explaining how they should make their post, why they are using # and alt-text and content warning wrong, etc...
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@psneeze Someone would immediately tell them they pronounced Scone the wrong way.
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@CiaraNi Ah yes, when I finally joined Mastodon.Online after nuking my Twitter and much deliberation (and no knowledge of Fedi) chose it because it was a large instance (find lots of folks fast!), had a good policy/values statement, was run by the org, and seemed most likely to stick around and have dedicated resources for maintnenace and moderation.
Got my share of ugh, why that server did you know X thing about it, etc.
Why no, I didn't, I just fucking got here and know nothing of the inside
@Brett_E_Carlock Sorry you got such an unwelcoming welcome. I think a lot of people choose the bigger 'official' servers for exactly the reasons you describe. That's their free choice, they can move later if they want to, no need to badger them on arrival.
The 'why that server, did you know X thing about it' questions often seem to be in the weeds. They're usually about fairness things like the ethics of big servers in a federation, not crisis things like 'there are fascists on it'.
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@johnlorimer What are the big reasons you decided to stick with Mastodon?
@annika To keep the answer simple - I think it is the only corner of the internet left that is worthwhile. It aligns with my values.
It helps that I am a life long nerd. -
@annika To keep the answer simple - I think it is the only corner of the internet left that is worthwhile. It aligns with my values.
It helps that I am a life long nerd.@johnlorimer @annika I'm only on Mastodon too. I am not a nerd (that I'm aware of), but I like the fact that it's human-sized and full of humans and people actually talk to one another in here. A nice corner of the internet, as you say.
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@CiaraNi two teabags and three minutes in the cup <blows smoking finger guns>
@rgarner Two teabags

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Every time a newcomer posts an introduction and somebody tells them they shouldn’t have joined Mastodon.social and need to move to a different server, an angel loses their wings.
@CiaraNi I'm glad to read that. While I've not introduced myself yet (this might count as such), I am joining the fediverse not by running away from other alternatives but as first experience overall. As it's patently obvious, I'm on the "default" server for two reasons: learn how all this works and to avoid encapsulating in a community where I might not feel well around. Mind you, I have diverse interests and some servers seem to frown upon joining if you not share, as its main, theirs
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@bleistifterin @rgarner Ohmygod are you trying to start a flame war in the Fediverse. Milk in first!
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@Brett_E_Carlock Sorry you got such an unwelcoming welcome. I think a lot of people choose the bigger 'official' servers for exactly the reasons you describe. That's their free choice, they can move later if they want to, no need to badger them on arrival.
The 'why that server, did you know X thing about it' questions often seem to be in the weeds. They're usually about fairness things like the ethics of big servers in a federation, not crisis things like 'there are fascists on it'.
@CiaraNi Yeah, I appreciated the Mastodon onboarding page for allowing me to filter servers by code of conduct, region, etc.
It did miss, as you noted, a lot of the internal fedi cultural notes that, yes, are important, but people simply can not be aware of beforehand as they are not a part of the community.
To be fair to folks, larger instances can trend under-moderated, so all the isms do happen on/from these instances as well.
The Bad Space project from are0h would be excellent to know b4
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@rgarner Two teabags

@CiaraNi I can't *believe* I only learned about this "trick" two weeks ago
