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  3. Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

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  • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

    Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

    Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

    julia@eepy.moeJ This user is from outside of this forum
    julia@eepy.moeJ This user is from outside of this forum
    julia@eepy.moe
    wrote sidst redigeret af
    #110

    @vkc@linuxmom.net this is the reason I haven't spoken out about the NUMEROUS times it's affected me

    1 Reply Last reply
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    • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

      @eq "don't let the idiots get you" - do you see how that puts it on me?

      I trust you mean well, but respectfully: no. The correct response is "men should fight back when they see this amongst themselves."

      It isn't my responsibility to "not let them get me down." It's men who need to step up and fight this battle.

      numerfolt@kirche.socialN This user is from outside of this forum
      numerfolt@kirche.socialN This user is from outside of this forum
      numerfolt@kirche.social
      wrote sidst redigeret af
      #111

      @vkc @eq Aye

      1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • alex02@elonsucks.orgA alex02@elonsucks.org

        @vkc no it is not and quite frankly your response is quite obnoxious. If we can't talk about problems collectively on this shithole platform and only talk about one thing at a time than it becomes loose islands among the rest of the sewage, but fine whatever. Thank you for proving my point about how hostile this place is becoming with all you morons whining, but yet do this type of shit. Anyways, enjoy the block. I generally don't care.

        alexpsmith@beige.partyA This user is from outside of this forum
        alexpsmith@beige.partyA This user is from outside of this forum
        alexpsmith@beige.party
        wrote sidst redigeret af
        #112

        @alex02 @vkc You are here at her sufferance, not because you have the right to say whatever the fuck you want- on a post about sexual harassment, no less. What an entitled prick.

        1 Reply Last reply
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        • alex02@elonsucks.orgA alex02@elonsucks.org

          @vkc no it is not and quite frankly your response is quite obnoxious. If we can't talk about problems collectively on this shithole platform and only talk about one thing at a time than it becomes loose islands among the rest of the sewage, but fine whatever. Thank you for proving my point about how hostile this place is becoming with all you morons whining, but yet do this type of shit. Anyways, enjoy the block. I generally don't care.

          db@magrathea.spaceD This user is from outside of this forum
          db@magrathea.spaceD This user is from outside of this forum
          db@magrathea.space
          wrote sidst redigeret af
          #113
          @alex02 There was nothing obnoxious or hostile about Veronica’s response to you. You did hijack the thread and make it about yourself. Don’t do that. @vkc
          1 Reply Last reply
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          • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

            Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

            Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

            E This user is from outside of this forum
            E This user is from outside of this forum
            eskealler@mastodon.social
            wrote sidst redigeret af
            #114

            @vkc I'll fight sexual harassment anyday.

            1 Reply Last reply
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            • mloxton@med-mastodon.comM mloxton@med-mastodon.com

              @RegGuy

              I hear you, and the same situation exists wrt racism. People of color say they get a ton of racist interactions, but I don't see it, so don't respond.

              I think three things are going on:
              1. There are things that *I* don't perceive as racist/sexist, but are experienced as such by the target. That bc the perpetrator is modulating to escape detection
              2. There are things that I haven't realized are racist and sexist, and I need to educate myself
              3. I am not in those environments
              @bob @vkc

              sri@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
              sri@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
              sri@mastodon.social
              wrote sidst redigeret af
              #115

              @mloxton @RegGuy @bob @vkc which is why you believe women / PoC when they point it out.

              bob@beamship.mpaq.orgB 1 Reply Last reply
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              • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                mina@berlin.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
                mina@berlin.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
                mina@berlin.social
                wrote sidst redigeret af
                #116

                @vkc

                So sorry, you had to go through this!

                Just because we're in "the good place", we shouldn't assume that misogyny, racism and other ugly stuff doesn't find its way here.

                It definitely exists, and it often hides behind false solidarity ("They're a good one, look at all the good they wrote and did. You misunderstood and are just overreacting.")

                Awareness is the first step.

                Abuse has to fought everywhere!

                1 Reply Last reply
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                • sri@mastodon.socialS sri@mastodon.social

                  @mloxton @RegGuy @bob @vkc which is why you believe women / PoC when they point it out.

                  bob@beamship.mpaq.orgB This user is from outside of this forum
                  bob@beamship.mpaq.orgB This user is from outside of this forum
                  bob@beamship.mpaq.org
                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                  #117

                  @sri @mloxton @RegGuy @vkc

                  At the same time. Ive met people whl felt they were wronged...

                  Not saying id not believe them but keeping that in mind...

                  1 Reply Last reply
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                  • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                    Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                    Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                    lydiaschoch@mastodon.socialL This user is from outside of this forum
                    lydiaschoch@mastodon.socialL This user is from outside of this forum
                    lydiaschoch@mastodon.social
                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                    #118

                    @vkc This is such a frustratingly common experience. I’m sorry it happened to you.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                      Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                      Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                      iams@mastodon.socialI This user is from outside of this forum
                      iams@mastodon.socialI This user is from outside of this forum
                      iams@mastodon.social
                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                      #119

                      @vkc I am sorry this happened to you. Thank you for sharing this experience (when I was young many women stayed silent -- I couldn't back them up when I didn't know what was going on and it weighs on me). I come to fedi/masto to get away from the bullshit, and I'm so sorry to know it is here too. I do my part to call out abuse when I see/hear it around me. I just want to say being dragged into a fight for existing is fucking awful, and you're not alone in being pissed-off. Fuck those assholes.

                      1 Reply Last reply
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                      • njwookie@mindly.socialN njwookie@mindly.social

                        @vkc

                        Sorry this happen to you. There are fighters out there but it's a tough fight and big Fediverse.

                        Fedi needs a hashtag that is a call to action to fight harassment and bigotry. Blocking or muting isn't enough. There should be a way to call in the Calvary to defend those being attacked.

                        Simply reply with #StompTheBully (or something) and the good guys show up to shut things down. Summon the guard dogs and we'll show up. As 6'5" father of a mess of daughters nothing makes me happier when my crew needs me for some "Big Dog Energy".

                        stingraybadger@zirk.usS This user is from outside of this forum
                        stingraybadger@zirk.usS This user is from outside of this forum
                        stingraybadger@zirk.us
                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                        #120

                        @NJWookie @vkc

                        Do you think this should be separate from the #FediBlock system already in place or in addition?

                        gabriel@fedi.gvisoc.comG njwookie@mindly.socialN 2 Replies Last reply
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                        • mxverda@lgbtqia.spaceM mxverda@lgbtqia.space

                          @eq @vkc idk how much it helps (if at all), but it might help to focus on the problem (excluding behaviours) rather than groups (humans are a let down).
                          Like... less "the situation will always be shit" ("we can't have nice things") and more "That sounds very frustrating; I don't wish that for you or anyone else".
                          Maybe with a dash of "I try to fight it where I can, but XYZ tends to happen. Anyone got any advice while we're on the topic?"
                          Or "I might try [whatever other suggestions]."

                          Idk. I'm not an expert

                          melioristicmarie@tech.lgbtM This user is from outside of this forum
                          melioristicmarie@tech.lgbtM This user is from outside of this forum
                          melioristicmarie@tech.lgbt
                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                          #121

                          @MxVerda @eq @vkc

                          i'm sort of a... i will cut them, just point me to whom, type of person. and then secondly, fuck this system burn it down. and then thirdly, let me help in providing examples of an alternate system that is more just and serves humanity better.

                          1 Reply Last reply
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                          • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                            @eq "don't let the idiots get you" - do you see how that puts it on me?

                            I trust you mean well, but respectfully: no. The correct response is "men should fight back when they see this amongst themselves."

                            It isn't my responsibility to "not let them get me down." It's men who need to step up and fight this battle.

                            cheeseness@mastodon.socialC This user is from outside of this forum
                            cheeseness@mastodon.socialC This user is from outside of this forum
                            cheeseness@mastodon.social
                            wrote sidst redigeret af
                            #122

                            @vkc @eq Even if that were an option, we are frequently talking about attention that goes far beyond human-scale. Individuals are not equipped to process let alone cope with the volume of negative attention that someone can be subjected to the moment that some internet angrymans decide to make it a part of their lifestyle to make someone else's life unpleasant.

                            This is a social problem with communal implications, not an individual problem that someone should be able to traverse without support.

                            1 Reply Last reply
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                            • stingraybadger@zirk.usS stingraybadger@zirk.us

                              @NJWookie @vkc

                              Do you think this should be separate from the #FediBlock system already in place or in addition?

                              gabriel@fedi.gvisoc.comG This user is from outside of this forum
                              gabriel@fedi.gvisoc.comG This user is from outside of this forum
                              gabriel@fedi.gvisoc.com
                              wrote sidst redigeret af
                              #123

                              @StingrayBadger @NJWookie @vkc I don't think she's talking only about mechanisms to put in the fediverse, but also to fight this shit in every corner of life.

                              If everyone was willing to fight this everywhere, anywhere, anytime, we shouldn't have to create a whistle to pile on the problem if we're not online or awake: all bystanders would stand up promptly at the very moment a turd jumps out his cesspit.

                              njwookie@mindly.socialN 1 Reply Last reply
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                              • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                                Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                                cpgsaw@mastodon.socialC This user is from outside of this forum
                                cpgsaw@mastodon.socialC This user is from outside of this forum
                                cpgsaw@mastodon.social
                                wrote sidst redigeret af
                                #124

                                @vkc fwiw you’re a great presence online and I will be checking out peertube more largely because you’re putting content on there

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                  Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                                  Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                                  mei@donotsta.reM This user is from outside of this forum
                                  mei@donotsta.reM This user is from outside of this forum
                                  mei@donotsta.re
                                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                                  #125

                                  @vkc@linuxmom.net yeah… that probably includes putting enough warnings on all those “hey it’s easy to selfhost your own instance if you wanna” selling points to make it very clear that, while you can do it, it also means you’re signing up to be moderating which instances you federate with on your own

                                  the reason we don’t have such warnings already is probably at least in part the fact that cis white fossbros would presumably be much less affected by this (at least, the targeted harassment part of the problem)

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                    Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                                    Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                                    donchacale@mastodon.socialD This user is from outside of this forum
                                    donchacale@mastodon.socialD This user is from outside of this forum
                                    donchacale@mastodon.social
                                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                                    #126

                                    @vkc
                                    gah!!! so sorry to hear that.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • moondog548@nerdculture.deM moondog548@nerdculture.de

                                      @haltroy
                                      And just like any disease we'll keep fighting it.
                                      @Orb2069 @vkc

                                      orb2069@mastodon.onlineO This user is from outside of this forum
                                      orb2069@mastodon.onlineO This user is from outside of this forum
                                      orb2069@mastodon.online
                                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                                      #127

                                      @moondog548 you might be interested in this - after the trigger warnings, the relevant part is at the 30 minute mark.

                                      https://youtu.be/P55t6eryY3g

                                      @haltroy @vkc

                                      moondog548@nerdculture.deM 1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                        Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                                        Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                                        ykantrachelread@social.treehouse.systemsY This user is from outside of this forum
                                        ykantrachelread@social.treehouse.systemsY This user is from outside of this forum
                                        ykantrachelread@social.treehouse.systems
                                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                                        #128

                                        @vkc this place is, sadly, super fucking misogynist as a whole. I'm sorry you've received some of the worst of it ♥️

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                          Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                                          Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                                          ciela@mastodon.ieC This user is from outside of this forum
                                          ciela@mastodon.ieC This user is from outside of this forum
                                          ciela@mastodon.ie
                                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                                          #129

                                          @vkc I am so sorry that you had to deal with this.

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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