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  3. Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

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  • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

    Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

    Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

    lydiaschoch@mastodon.socialL This user is from outside of this forum
    lydiaschoch@mastodon.socialL This user is from outside of this forum
    lydiaschoch@mastodon.social
    wrote sidst redigeret af
    #118

    @vkc This is such a frustratingly common experience. I’m sorry it happened to you.

    1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

      Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

      Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

      iams@mastodon.socialI This user is from outside of this forum
      iams@mastodon.socialI This user is from outside of this forum
      iams@mastodon.social
      wrote sidst redigeret af
      #119

      @vkc I am sorry this happened to you. Thank you for sharing this experience (when I was young many women stayed silent -- I couldn't back them up when I didn't know what was going on and it weighs on me). I come to fedi/masto to get away from the bullshit, and I'm so sorry to know it is here too. I do my part to call out abuse when I see/hear it around me. I just want to say being dragged into a fight for existing is fucking awful, and you're not alone in being pissed-off. Fuck those assholes.

      1 Reply Last reply
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      • njwookie@mindly.socialN njwookie@mindly.social

        @vkc

        Sorry this happen to you. There are fighters out there but it's a tough fight and big Fediverse.

        Fedi needs a hashtag that is a call to action to fight harassment and bigotry. Blocking or muting isn't enough. There should be a way to call in the Calvary to defend those being attacked.

        Simply reply with #StompTheBully (or something) and the good guys show up to shut things down. Summon the guard dogs and we'll show up. As 6'5" father of a mess of daughters nothing makes me happier when my crew needs me for some "Big Dog Energy".

        stingraybadger@zirk.usS This user is from outside of this forum
        stingraybadger@zirk.usS This user is from outside of this forum
        stingraybadger@zirk.us
        wrote sidst redigeret af
        #120

        @NJWookie @vkc

        Do you think this should be separate from the #FediBlock system already in place or in addition?

        gabriel@fedi.gvisoc.comG njwookie@mindly.socialN 2 Replies Last reply
        0
        • mxverda@lgbtqia.spaceM mxverda@lgbtqia.space

          @eq @vkc idk how much it helps (if at all), but it might help to focus on the problem (excluding behaviours) rather than groups (humans are a let down).
          Like... less "the situation will always be shit" ("we can't have nice things") and more "That sounds very frustrating; I don't wish that for you or anyone else".
          Maybe with a dash of "I try to fight it where I can, but XYZ tends to happen. Anyone got any advice while we're on the topic?"
          Or "I might try [whatever other suggestions]."

          Idk. I'm not an expert

          melioristicmarie@tech.lgbtM This user is from outside of this forum
          melioristicmarie@tech.lgbtM This user is from outside of this forum
          melioristicmarie@tech.lgbt
          wrote sidst redigeret af
          #121

          @MxVerda @eq @vkc

          i'm sort of a... i will cut them, just point me to whom, type of person. and then secondly, fuck this system burn it down. and then thirdly, let me help in providing examples of an alternate system that is more just and serves humanity better.

          1 Reply Last reply
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          • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

            @eq "don't let the idiots get you" - do you see how that puts it on me?

            I trust you mean well, but respectfully: no. The correct response is "men should fight back when they see this amongst themselves."

            It isn't my responsibility to "not let them get me down." It's men who need to step up and fight this battle.

            cheeseness@mastodon.socialC This user is from outside of this forum
            cheeseness@mastodon.socialC This user is from outside of this forum
            cheeseness@mastodon.social
            wrote sidst redigeret af
            #122

            @vkc @eq Even if that were an option, we are frequently talking about attention that goes far beyond human-scale. Individuals are not equipped to process let alone cope with the volume of negative attention that someone can be subjected to the moment that some internet angrymans decide to make it a part of their lifestyle to make someone else's life unpleasant.

            This is a social problem with communal implications, not an individual problem that someone should be able to traverse without support.

            1 Reply Last reply
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            • stingraybadger@zirk.usS stingraybadger@zirk.us

              @NJWookie @vkc

              Do you think this should be separate from the #FediBlock system already in place or in addition?

              gabriel@fedi.gvisoc.comG This user is from outside of this forum
              gabriel@fedi.gvisoc.comG This user is from outside of this forum
              gabriel@fedi.gvisoc.com
              wrote sidst redigeret af
              #123

              @StingrayBadger @NJWookie @vkc I don't think she's talking only about mechanisms to put in the fediverse, but also to fight this shit in every corner of life.

              If everyone was willing to fight this everywhere, anywhere, anytime, we shouldn't have to create a whistle to pile on the problem if we're not online or awake: all bystanders would stand up promptly at the very moment a turd jumps out his cesspit.

              njwookie@mindly.socialN 1 Reply Last reply
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              • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                cpgsaw@mastodon.socialC This user is from outside of this forum
                cpgsaw@mastodon.socialC This user is from outside of this forum
                cpgsaw@mastodon.social
                wrote sidst redigeret af
                #124

                @vkc fwiw you’re a great presence online and I will be checking out peertube more largely because you’re putting content on there

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                  Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                  Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                  mei@donotsta.reM This user is from outside of this forum
                  mei@donotsta.reM This user is from outside of this forum
                  mei@donotsta.re
                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                  #125

                  @vkc@linuxmom.net yeah… that probably includes putting enough warnings on all those “hey it’s easy to selfhost your own instance if you wanna” selling points to make it very clear that, while you can do it, it also means you’re signing up to be moderating which instances you federate with on your own

                  the reason we don’t have such warnings already is probably at least in part the fact that cis white fossbros would presumably be much less affected by this (at least, the targeted harassment part of the problem)

                  1 Reply Last reply
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                  • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                    Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                    Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                    donchacale@mastodon.socialD This user is from outside of this forum
                    donchacale@mastodon.socialD This user is from outside of this forum
                    donchacale@mastodon.social
                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                    #126

                    @vkc
                    gah!!! so sorry to hear that.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • moondog548@nerdculture.deM moondog548@nerdculture.de

                      @haltroy
                      And just like any disease we'll keep fighting it.
                      @Orb2069 @vkc

                      orb2069@mastodon.onlineO This user is from outside of this forum
                      orb2069@mastodon.onlineO This user is from outside of this forum
                      orb2069@mastodon.online
                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                      #127

                      @moondog548 you might be interested in this - after the trigger warnings, the relevant part is at the 30 minute mark.

                      https://youtu.be/P55t6eryY3g

                      @haltroy @vkc

                      moondog548@nerdculture.deM 1 Reply Last reply
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                      • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                        Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                        Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                        ykantrachelread@social.treehouse.systemsY This user is from outside of this forum
                        ykantrachelread@social.treehouse.systemsY This user is from outside of this forum
                        ykantrachelread@social.treehouse.systems
                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                        #128

                        @vkc this place is, sadly, super fucking misogynist as a whole. I'm sorry you've received some of the worst of it ♥️

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                          Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                          Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                          ciela@mastodon.ieC This user is from outside of this forum
                          ciela@mastodon.ieC This user is from outside of this forum
                          ciela@mastodon.ie
                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                          #129

                          @vkc I am so sorry that you had to deal with this.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • alex02@elonsucks.orgA alex02@elonsucks.org

                            @vkc no it is not and quite frankly your response is quite obnoxious. If we can't talk about problems collectively on this shithole platform and only talk about one thing at a time than it becomes loose islands among the rest of the sewage, but fine whatever. Thank you for proving my point about how hostile this place is becoming with all you morons whining, but yet do this type of shit. Anyways, enjoy the block. I generally don't care.

                            viralobscurity@mstdn.socialV This user is from outside of this forum
                            viralobscurity@mstdn.socialV This user is from outside of this forum
                            viralobscurity@mstdn.social
                            wrote sidst redigeret af
                            #130

                            @alex02 @vkc you may, or may not, have a point about some people being hostile to Gen Z

                            I'm not the right person to comment on that because I've had no experience of it one way or the other but hijacking a thread about sexual harrasment for your own issues and being hostile when it's pointed out you are off topic is frankly, obnoxious in itself

                            Then there is the fact you come here complaining about "whiney bitches" on this thread of all things

                            Complete failure to read the room right there

                            1 Reply Last reply
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                            • gabriel@fedi.gvisoc.comG gabriel@fedi.gvisoc.com

                              @StingrayBadger @NJWookie @vkc I don't think she's talking only about mechanisms to put in the fediverse, but also to fight this shit in every corner of life.

                              If everyone was willing to fight this everywhere, anywhere, anytime, we shouldn't have to create a whistle to pile on the problem if we're not online or awake: all bystanders would stand up promptly at the very moment a turd jumps out his cesspit.

                              njwookie@mindly.socialN This user is from outside of this forum
                              njwookie@mindly.socialN This user is from outside of this forum
                              njwookie@mindly.social
                              wrote sidst redigeret af
                              #131

                              @gabriel @StingrayBadger @vkc For sure but me fighting IRL where I live might not do much for someone who lives thousands of miles away. Also harassment often comes from those who don’t act that way IRL. Hiding behind the keyboard allows many to let the worst of themselves out when they normally hide that in the real world.

                              gabriel@fedi.gvisoc.comG 1 Reply Last reply
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                              • stingraybadger@zirk.usS stingraybadger@zirk.us

                                @NJWookie @vkc

                                Do you think this should be separate from the #FediBlock system already in place or in addition?

                                njwookie@mindly.socialN This user is from outside of this forum
                                njwookie@mindly.socialN This user is from outside of this forum
                                njwookie@mindly.social
                                wrote sidst redigeret af
                                #132

                                @StingrayBadger @vkc Perhaps. Blocking just takes a bad actor and turns them towards their next target. Fighting occupies the bad actor and drowns them out.

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • orb2069@mastodon.onlineO orb2069@mastodon.online

                                  @moondog548 you might be interested in this - after the trigger warnings, the relevant part is at the 30 minute mark.

                                  https://youtu.be/P55t6eryY3g

                                  @haltroy @vkc

                                  moondog548@nerdculture.deM This user is from outside of this forum
                                  moondog548@nerdculture.deM This user is from outside of this forum
                                  moondog548@nerdculture.de
                                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                                  #133

                                  @Orb2069
                                  Hell yes! I'm already a patron of that channel.
                                  @haltroy @vkc

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                    Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                                    Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                                    membrana@bolha.oneM This user is from outside of this forum
                                    membrana@bolha.oneM This user is from outside of this forum
                                    membrana@bolha.one
                                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                                    #134

                                    @vkc I had been tracking out what I considered to be sexually harassment or predatory behaviour happening on my fedi buddle recently, many times happening in a somewhat veiled manner.

                                    My conclusion is that people actually protect each other, normalise those behaviours amongst communities. Some people's entire m.o. is to be thirsting over several (often cis) women in a community.

                                    Even worst, in environments where people will discuss sexual content, the lines blur and discomfort becomes expected.

                                    Am in solidarity with you and also hope people who are currently enabling this behaviour take action instead of leaving women to fight and treat these situations as isolated occurrences and not an aspect of the culture.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • njwookie@mindly.socialN njwookie@mindly.social

                                      @gabriel @StingrayBadger @vkc For sure but me fighting IRL where I live might not do much for someone who lives thousands of miles away. Also harassment often comes from those who don’t act that way IRL. Hiding behind the keyboard allows many to let the worst of themselves out when they normally hide that in the real world.

                                      gabriel@fedi.gvisoc.comG This user is from outside of this forum
                                      gabriel@fedi.gvisoc.comG This user is from outside of this forum
                                      gabriel@fedi.gvisoc.com
                                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                                      #135

                                      @NJWookie @StingrayBadger @vkc I was not telling that to / about you.

                                      I was making the point that what it needs to change is the men all across the board, and make that fight a natural reflex in any environment, so that it doesn't require a hashtag with notifications for a bunch of select miniroty, but just some, **any** decent human being walking by.

                                      njwookie@mindly.socialN 1 Reply Last reply
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                                      • gabriel@fedi.gvisoc.comG gabriel@fedi.gvisoc.com

                                        @NJWookie @StingrayBadger @vkc I was not telling that to / about you.

                                        I was making the point that what it needs to change is the men all across the board, and make that fight a natural reflex in any environment, so that it doesn't require a hashtag with notifications for a bunch of select miniroty, but just some, **any** decent human being walking by.

                                        njwookie@mindly.socialN This user is from outside of this forum
                                        njwookie@mindly.socialN This user is from outside of this forum
                                        njwookie@mindly.social
                                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                                        #136

                                        @gabriel @StingrayBadger @vkc

                                        You replied to me and at point you just seem to be preaching to the choir, captioning the obvious, or something else. You seem to mean well but come off odd so I’ll wish you well and go on my way. Peace.

                                        gabriel@fedi.gvisoc.comG 1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • njwookie@mindly.socialN njwookie@mindly.social

                                          @gabriel @StingrayBadger @vkc

                                          You replied to me and at point you just seem to be preaching to the choir, captioning the obvious, or something else. You seem to mean well but come off odd so I’ll wish you well and go on my way. Peace.

                                          gabriel@fedi.gvisoc.comG This user is from outside of this forum
                                          gabriel@fedi.gvisoc.comG This user is from outside of this forum
                                          gabriel@fedi.gvisoc.com
                                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                                          #137

                                          @NJWookie @StingrayBadger @vkc it was more to stingray's, but whatever. Peace.

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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