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  3. I am sure this lovely lady didn't mean it this way but, for those of us who have lived in poor places, the fetishising of handwashing comes off as obscene privilege.

I am sure this lovely lady didn't mean it this way but, for those of us who have lived in poor places, the fetishising of handwashing comes off as obscene privilege.

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  • remittancegirl@mstdn.socialR remittancegirl@mstdn.social

    @Bumblefish I don't think she was attempting to glorify suffering. I don't think she's suffering at all. But she's romanticising a particular chore that has been the bane of women's existence from time immemorial.

    And I'm sure she's found some meditative escape in it. But the decadent privilege implicit in it is... well, obscene to me.

    darc_fantom@cupoftea.socialD This user is from outside of this forum
    darc_fantom@cupoftea.socialD This user is from outside of this forum
    darc_fantom@cupoftea.social
    wrote sidst redigeret af
    #8

    @Remittancegirl @Bumblefish
    And TradWife / CottageCore often seems to be associated, almost like a gateway drug, with a whole bunch of 'traditional' right wing anti-feminist values.

    FFS who would want to go back to hand-washing clothes 🙄. I remember the mangle, washboard etc... at my Grandmothers.
    So to any romantic CottageCore picture add a filter if winter cold; grey and wet.

    cablest@mastodon.socialC 1 Reply Last reply
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    • hko@mastodon.socialH hko@mastodon.social

      @Remittancegirl There is definitely something decadent in romanticizing "simplicity" - not relying on "modernity".

      Which just brought the anti-vax aesthetic to my mind: Being far enough removed from things like polio that it seems cute to flirt with bringing them back.

      Not exactly the same thing, but at least to my mind, there is some vague linkage.

      remittancegirl@mstdn.socialR This user is from outside of this forum
      remittancegirl@mstdn.socialR This user is from outside of this forum
      remittancegirl@mstdn.social
      wrote sidst redigeret af
      #9

      @hko I agree. While it isn't the same thing, there is a kind of logical progression.

      1 Reply Last reply
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      • juliette@mastodon.greenJ juliette@mastodon.green

        @Remittancegirl The overlap between the CottageCore aesthetic (that I love) and poverty cosplay is very disturbing. Thank you for calling it out.

        remittancegirl@mstdn.socialR This user is from outside of this forum
        remittancegirl@mstdn.socialR This user is from outside of this forum
        remittancegirl@mstdn.social
        wrote sidst redigeret af
        #10

        @juliette I absolutely get the CottageCore thing myself.

        But wouldn't it be more creative to reinvent that aesthetic in a way that didn't glamourise grinding poverty?

        cwicseolfor@zeroes.caC 1 Reply Last reply
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        • darc_fantom@cupoftea.socialD darc_fantom@cupoftea.social

          @Remittancegirl @Bumblefish
          And TradWife / CottageCore often seems to be associated, almost like a gateway drug, with a whole bunch of 'traditional' right wing anti-feminist values.

          FFS who would want to go back to hand-washing clothes 🙄. I remember the mangle, washboard etc... at my Grandmothers.
          So to any romantic CottageCore picture add a filter if winter cold; grey and wet.

          cablest@mastodon.socialC This user is from outside of this forum
          cablest@mastodon.socialC This user is from outside of this forum
          cablest@mastodon.social
          wrote sidst redigeret af
          #11

          @DaRC_Fantom @Remittancegirl @Bumblefish Those feckn washboards would skin yr knuckles. My Nan's hands, joints too swollen to get her wedding ring off...

          1 Reply Last reply
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          • hko@mastodon.socialH hko@mastodon.social

            @Remittancegirl The production quality of the video makes the poverty cosplay aspect particularly wild. The whole thing feels extremely movie-like - which I'm sure is the point.

            realn2s@infosec.exchangeR This user is from outside of this forum
            realn2s@infosec.exchangeR This user is from outside of this forum
            realn2s@infosec.exchange
            wrote sidst redigeret af
            #12

            @hko @Remittancegirl
            The faucet also breaks the context

            remittancegirl@mstdn.socialR 1 Reply Last reply
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            • remittancegirl@mstdn.socialR remittancegirl@mstdn.social

              @Bumblefish I don't think she was attempting to glorify suffering. I don't think she's suffering at all. But she's romanticising a particular chore that has been the bane of women's existence from time immemorial.

              And I'm sure she's found some meditative escape in it. But the decadent privilege implicit in it is... well, obscene to me.

              http_error_418@hachyderm.ioH This user is from outside of this forum
              http_error_418@hachyderm.ioH This user is from outside of this forum
              http_error_418@hachyderm.io
              wrote sidst redigeret af
              #13

              @Remittancegirl @Bumblefish I'm wondering if it is in a way a display of wealth. "Look at me, I can afford to throw an entire day at a task most people spend an hour or so on"

              remittancegirl@mstdn.socialR 1 Reply Last reply
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              • http_error_418@hachyderm.ioH http_error_418@hachyderm.io

                @Remittancegirl @Bumblefish I'm wondering if it is in a way a display of wealth. "Look at me, I can afford to throw an entire day at a task most people spend an hour or so on"

                remittancegirl@mstdn.socialR This user is from outside of this forum
                remittancegirl@mstdn.socialR This user is from outside of this forum
                remittancegirl@mstdn.social
                wrote sidst redigeret af
                #14

                @http_error_418 Yes!!! You put your finger on something I was having trouble expressing. Also, I wonder how much she spends on the hand cream to stave off chapping? @Bumblefish

                1 Reply Last reply
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                • remittancegirl@mstdn.socialR remittancegirl@mstdn.social

                  I am sure this lovely lady didn't mean it this way but, for those of us who have lived in poor places, the fetishising of handwashing comes off as obscene privilege.

                  There are women - yes, they're always women - all over the world who either don't have electricity or can't afford a washing machine. And they routinely spend a day a week handwashing a family's laundry.

                  I must say, I find poverty cosplay deeply disturbing

                  https://www.instagram.com/reel/Dax_h52KmRj/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

                  irene@discuss.systemsI This user is from outside of this forum
                  irene@discuss.systemsI This user is from outside of this forum
                  irene@discuss.systems
                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                  #15

                  @Remittancegirl lol that is why I found the book Yesteryear to be enjoyable.

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                  • realn2s@infosec.exchangeR realn2s@infosec.exchange

                    @hko @Remittancegirl
                    The faucet also breaks the context

                    remittancegirl@mstdn.socialR This user is from outside of this forum
                    remittancegirl@mstdn.socialR This user is from outside of this forum
                    remittancegirl@mstdn.social
                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                    #16

                    @realn2s as does the multiple kilometre trek with water. @hko

                    rhelune@todon.euR 1 Reply Last reply
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                    • remittancegirl@mstdn.socialR remittancegirl@mstdn.social

                      I am sure this lovely lady didn't mean it this way but, for those of us who have lived in poor places, the fetishising of handwashing comes off as obscene privilege.

                      There are women - yes, they're always women - all over the world who either don't have electricity or can't afford a washing machine. And they routinely spend a day a week handwashing a family's laundry.

                      I must say, I find poverty cosplay deeply disturbing

                      https://www.instagram.com/reel/Dax_h52KmRj/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

                      mab_813@fedi.atM This user is from outside of this forum
                      mab_813@fedi.atM This user is from outside of this forum
                      mab_813@fedi.at
                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                      #17

                      @Remittancegirl

                      I remember my grandmother telling me how happy she was when she got a washing mashine...

                      remittancegirl@mstdn.socialR 1 Reply Last reply
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                      • mab_813@fedi.atM mab_813@fedi.at

                        @Remittancegirl

                        I remember my grandmother telling me how happy she was when she got a washing mashine...

                        remittancegirl@mstdn.socialR This user is from outside of this forum
                        remittancegirl@mstdn.socialR This user is from outside of this forum
                        remittancegirl@mstdn.social
                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                        #18

                        @Mab_813 this, 1000 times. If there was any piece of tech in the last 200 years that genuinely improved women’s lives, it was the washing machine

                        rhelune@todon.euR 1 Reply Last reply
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                        • remittancegirl@mstdn.socialR remittancegirl@mstdn.social

                          @realn2s as does the multiple kilometre trek with water. @hko

                          rhelune@todon.euR This user is from outside of this forum
                          rhelune@todon.euR This user is from outside of this forum
                          rhelune@todon.eu
                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                          #19

                          @Remittancegirl @realn2s @hko Also she should be mixing ashes from her fireplace with water to create alkali and use that instead of commercial detergent, which would then make her hands extremely dry and irritated!

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                          • remittancegirl@mstdn.socialR remittancegirl@mstdn.social

                            @Mab_813 this, 1000 times. If there was any piece of tech in the last 200 years that genuinely improved women’s lives, it was the washing machine

                            rhelune@todon.euR This user is from outside of this forum
                            rhelune@todon.euR This user is from outside of this forum
                            rhelune@todon.eu
                            wrote sidst redigeret af
                            #20

                            @Remittancegirl @Mab_813 Especially because early manual washing machines were also used to induce abortions, as I learned in the Viennese Museum of contraception and abortion.

                            1 Reply Last reply
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                            • remittancegirl@mstdn.socialR remittancegirl@mstdn.social

                              I am sure this lovely lady didn't mean it this way but, for those of us who have lived in poor places, the fetishising of handwashing comes off as obscene privilege.

                              There are women - yes, they're always women - all over the world who either don't have electricity or can't afford a washing machine. And they routinely spend a day a week handwashing a family's laundry.

                              I must say, I find poverty cosplay deeply disturbing

                              https://www.instagram.com/reel/Dax_h52KmRj/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

                              mabande@mastodon.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
                              mabande@mastodon.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
                              mabande@mastodon.social
                              wrote sidst redigeret af
                              #21

                              @Remittancegirl the one, single upside of hand washing I've heard of is from communities where washing is done down by the river/lake: the women can socialize away from the men, cause everyone knows it takes a day, so dudes won't bother them to serve.
                              When washing machines come into those communities the "freed up time" is quickly absorbed by new chores and less socializing.
                              So those communities need some equality delivered with the washing machines.

                              1 Reply Last reply
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                              • remittancegirl@mstdn.socialR remittancegirl@mstdn.social

                                @Bumblefish I don't think she was attempting to glorify suffering. I don't think she's suffering at all. But she's romanticising a particular chore that has been the bane of women's existence from time immemorial.

                                And I'm sure she's found some meditative escape in it. But the decadent privilege implicit in it is... well, obscene to me.

                                edgeofeurope@mastodon.socialE This user is from outside of this forum
                                edgeofeurope@mastodon.socialE This user is from outside of this forum
                                edgeofeurope@mastodon.social
                                wrote sidst redigeret af
                                #22

                                @Remittancegirl @Bumblefish They are preparing people to accept actual poverty. It started for me with the whole 'tiny house' craze, where living in cramped spaces was presented as fashionable and eco and whatnot, and now there's this.
                                They really want to turn back the clock at least 150 years, and keep all the spoils of all our work entirely for themselves.

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                                • remittancegirl@mstdn.socialR remittancegirl@mstdn.social

                                  @juliette I absolutely get the CottageCore thing myself.

                                  But wouldn't it be more creative to reinvent that aesthetic in a way that didn't glamourise grinding poverty?

                                  cwicseolfor@zeroes.caC This user is from outside of this forum
                                  cwicseolfor@zeroes.caC This user is from outside of this forum
                                  cwicseolfor@zeroes.ca
                                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                                  #23

                                  @Remittancegirl I keep trying to sort out the linkage here because some of it is definitely decadent rich folks cosplaying or even peacocking their leisure time, but there's also a certain amount of what feels like trepidation in the audiences responding - trying to find reassurance that if they lose access to modern convenience (whether it's some kind of collapse narrative, rapture, revolution, or a slip into poverty, to go around some common political quadrants' anxieties) that they'll still be able to meet their needs and be okay, that they won't lose their sense of dignity. For people who grew up clinging to the shrinking middle class iceberg, I see more of that latter. I think it sometimes is an audience appetite to see EXACTLY grinding poverty glamourised, so daily precarity (or whatever End Times narrative they're raised with) will feel less frightening.

                                  I wash some things by hand (with a plunger) because my washing machine wasn't doing the job terribly well for anything on the delicate cycle, and I'm trying to eke out a bit more life from my clothes. It's awful work if you need to do it for anything like a full wardrobe instead of just trying to preserve bras or a sentimental shirt.

                                  But I also felt a certain anxiety fizzle down after the first time, knowing that while I'd rather always have the option to rely on a machine I wasn't completely dependent on it to stay afloat and pass, socioeconomically, in "normal" society. In the sweltering climate here it helps a lot to have in-unit washer/dryers, as laundromats here are For the Poor and thus terrible and expensive, because homes here are stupidly large and thus have the space. Therefore more than once in my 20s I was crunching numbers trying to figure out how little laundry I could do before the more affordable apartment became the costly one. I fortunately only very briefly went without, so I got the plunger years later, but the scars from the literal hungry years are still there in my head, and while I avoid most content like that like plague I can feel that anxiety-reassurance loop reactivate when people discuss it.

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                                  • remittancegirl@mstdn.socialR remittancegirl@mstdn.social

                                    I am sure this lovely lady didn't mean it this way but, for those of us who have lived in poor places, the fetishising of handwashing comes off as obscene privilege.

                                    There are women - yes, they're always women - all over the world who either don't have electricity or can't afford a washing machine. And they routinely spend a day a week handwashing a family's laundry.

                                    I must say, I find poverty cosplay deeply disturbing

                                    https://www.instagram.com/reel/Dax_h52KmRj/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

                                    beecycling@wandering.shopB This user is from outside of this forum
                                    beecycling@wandering.shopB This user is from outside of this forum
                                    beecycling@wandering.shop
                                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                                    #24

                                    @Remittancegirl Most people would try this once and say "screw that!" And go back to using a washing machine. Hell, even a top loader is a PITA.

                                    Both my grannies would have told her not to be so silly. Washing machines are not some conspiracy we've been brainwashed into thinking we should have ::cough:: dishwashers ::cough:: Washing machines are a tool of liberation for women. 💪

                                    1 Reply Last reply
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                                    • remittancegirl@mstdn.socialR remittancegirl@mstdn.social

                                      @Bumblefish I don't think she was attempting to glorify suffering. I don't think she's suffering at all. But she's romanticising a particular chore that has been the bane of women's existence from time immemorial.

                                      And I'm sure she's found some meditative escape in it. But the decadent privilege implicit in it is... well, obscene to me.

                                      rozeboosje@masto.aiR This user is from outside of this forum
                                      rozeboosje@masto.aiR This user is from outside of this forum
                                      rozeboosje@masto.ai
                                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                                      #25

                                      @Remittancegirl @Bumblefish You hit the nail on the head. She can enjoy it, as you say, as a "meditative practice", for example. But if she finds one day that her hands are red raw and painful she can go "I'll give it a miss today" and feck her clothes into a washing machine. She can afford to do that and keep such things "fun" for herself. Many can't.

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