What the actual fuck.
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The radio astronomer Nikolai Kardashev developed a scale describing hypothetical aliens by the amount of energy they used as a guide for what SETI searches could and could not find.
A "Kardashev II" level would involve using the entire energy output of the Sun by dismantling planets and turning them into solar panels.
Which has no resemblance to this particular bit of vaporware.
@michael_w_busch @sundogplanets Trust techbros not only to envision littering on a cosmic scale, but also to equate it with a theoretical hallmark of a hyperadvanced civilization.
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@GhostOnTheHalfShell@masto.ai @sundogplanets@mastodon.social Hint: Ask yourself why datacenters use massive bundles of wired or fiber connections internally rather than WiFi.
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@GhostOnTheHalfShell @sundogplanets Plus the big question of how you cool a GPU datacenter surrounded by the vacuum of space.
But then, you probably don't really need to know anything about datacenters to realize that moving them into space is just going to make every aspect of them more difficult and expensive...
@ids1024 @GhostOnTheHalfShell @sundogplanets Exactly. The cooling issue alone should rule out space for data centres.
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@utf_7 @troed @sundogplanets, my thoughts are on the biggest resource consumption of a datacenter: Cooling and Energy, which is very taxing right now on our existing capabilities.
We'd shift from constant CO2 emitting energy consumption on earth to solar in space and move away from using fresh water for cooling, which is becoming more and more scarce.
@ppulfer @utf_7 @troed @sundogplanets Yeah, Elon might get away with ignoring laws here on Earth but you can’t do that with the laws of physics. Space is not full of magical infinite solar energy or cooling.
This is just a grift to keep the investment for his companies flowing in.
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What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?
Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK
https://au.pcmag.com/networking/115649/spacex-eyes-1-million-satellites-for-orbital-data-center-push
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@mycotropic @sundogplanets and orbital days centers are a horrible idea
@oblomov @mycotropic @sundogplanets this is clearly just advertising BS. In addition to being a generally bad idea, 500-1000 km is well into the Van Allen belts, so the radiation makes this even more stupid
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"Launching a constellation of a million satellites that operate as orbital data centers is a first step toward becoming a Kardashev II-level situation"
THIS IS IN AN FCC FILING NOT A SCIENCE FICTION NOVEL WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK I'M DEAD
@sundogplanets >when the ketamine high hits
“Grok, prepare an FCC filing…” -
What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?
Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK
https://au.pcmag.com/networking/115649/spacex-eyes-1-million-satellites-for-orbital-data-center-push
@sundogplanets other countries will have to shoot them fown to get into space
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What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?
Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK
https://au.pcmag.com/networking/115649/spacex-eyes-1-million-satellites-for-orbital-data-center-push
@sundogplanets This is completely impossible to make work. Sounds more like a stock pump scam.
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@oblomov @mycotropic @sundogplanets this is clearly just advertising BS. In addition to being a generally bad idea, 500-1000 km is well into the Van Allen belts, so the radiation makes this even more stupid
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"Launching a constellation of a million satellites that operate as orbital data centers is a first step toward becoming a Kardashev II-level situation"
THIS IS IN AN FCC FILING NOT A SCIENCE FICTION NOVEL WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK I'M DEAD
@sundogplanets What’s a Kardeshian II-level situation?
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What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?
Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK
https://au.pcmag.com/networking/115649/spacex-eyes-1-million-satellites-for-orbital-data-center-push
@sundogplanets "Pump and dump" is the natural state of being for homo-muskiens.
He recently said that Tesla will soon be building a million humanoid robots a year.
It's the same game every time.
https://www.theregister.com/2026/01/29/truth_telling_man_always_tells_truth/
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What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?
Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK
https://au.pcmag.com/networking/115649/spacex-eyes-1-million-satellites-for-orbital-data-center-push
@sundogplanets @robpike lol data centers in space what a publicity stunt. Makes absolutely zero material sense.
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What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?
Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK
https://au.pcmag.com/networking/115649/spacex-eyes-1-million-satellites-for-orbital-data-center-push
@sundogplanets Isn't it obvious that speedrunning Kessler syndrome to no obvious benefit is how you become a multiplanetary species?
It's just science or something.
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"Launching a constellation of a million satellites that operate as orbital data centers is a first step toward becoming a Kardashev II-level situation"
THIS IS IN AN FCC FILING NOT A SCIENCE FICTION NOVEL WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK I'M DEAD
@sundogplanets Is there enough rocket fuel on earth for a million rocket launches?
What about the logistics?
Say you manage to find 100 suitable rocket launch sites and have a successful launch a week from each site.
Assuming a 100% successful launch rate and that all of the satellites end up in the right orbit first time that's still 10,000 weeks before all of the satellites are in place.
So 192 years?
Are my calculations correct?
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@Chancerubbage @sundogplanets @Barbramon1 Most importantly, there are far too many of them already.
@SecondUniverse @sundogplanets @Barbramon1
Of course there is. I did math on the existing numbers months back (there are so many I expected them to be smaller) to determine ideally how much land area each existing then could cover for internet signal.
It’s stupefying even if any one trusted Musk as a carrier. I certainly don’t.
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What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?
Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK
https://au.pcmag.com/networking/115649/spacex-eyes-1-million-satellites-for-orbital-data-center-push
@sundogplanets The only relevant sci-fi: "we don't know who struck first, but we know it was us who darkened the sky."
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What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?
Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK
https://au.pcmag.com/networking/115649/spacex-eyes-1-million-satellites-for-orbital-data-center-push
@sundogplanets this is like the archetypal gold rush land grab. No thought or card for the consequences on others eg astronomy, debris impact etc. Just selfish short term monetary gain. The polluter should pay!
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@sundogplanets What’s a Kardeshian II-level situation?
@christianschwaegerl
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kardashev_scale
Don't ask me what this will do to our planet
. @sundogplanets -
What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?
Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK
https://au.pcmag.com/networking/115649/spacex-eyes-1-million-satellites-for-orbital-data-center-push
So, this has all the hallmarks of a 'Musk's name just came up in an Epstein email, begging for a wild party invite to the island’ distractor vibe to it.
You can make 1 million chocolate bars, just like that. I'm pretty sure that the sourcing for parts for satellites is less do-able.
Still. Eyes on.
🤪
