I hope John Roberts can't watch the NFL playoff games today because he has explosive diarrhea.
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Today #IHopeJohnRoberts gets a surprise visit from two of his adult children but they haven't come over to talk but rather to pick up some things his wife would like sent to her, and they won't tell him where she is or what she's doing because she's asked them not to, and when he asks tearfully what he has done to drive his family away one of his kids looks him right in the eye and says, "Dad, have you read your own decisions lately? Don't you realize what you are doing to people?" and then with a small box of his wife's things they drive away, leaving him in the giant house alone.
Today I wish John Roberts goes to church and enters the confessional and confesses a couple of venial little sins including gluttony from when he took a second donut from the pink cardboard box someone left in the Supreme Court break room but the priest peers at him through the screen and asks, "really, my son? That's all? You don't think murdering democracy is a larger sin than that?" and instructs him to say 100,000 Our Fathers before he's allowed to take communion again. #IHopeJohnRoberts
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Today I wish John Roberts goes to church and enters the confessional and confesses a couple of venial little sins including gluttony from when he took a second donut from the pink cardboard box someone left in the Supreme Court break room but the priest peers at him through the screen and asks, "really, my son? That's all? You don't think murdering democracy is a larger sin than that?" and instructs him to say 100,000 Our Fathers before he's allowed to take communion again. #IHopeJohnRoberts
Today #IHopeJohnRoberts keeps saying Our Fathers (see above) as he showers and shaves and drinks coffee and is at something like 482 when he gets distracted by an incoming text and loses count and has to start over, and also that text wasn't from his runaway wife as he hoped (see a little farther above) but just spam from a nutraceuticals company.
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Today #IHopeJohnRoberts keeps saying Our Fathers (see above) as he showers and shaves and drinks coffee and is at something like 482 when he gets distracted by an incoming text and loses count and has to start over, and also that text wasn't from his runaway wife as he hoped (see a little farther above) but just spam from a nutraceuticals company.
Today #IHopeJohnRoberts Is thinking a lot about how long his wife has been away incommunicado and even though it's only been, what, just a little over two weeks?, it still seems like forever, and it's making him start to reconsider, just a little, just a tiny little bit, what the word "prolonged" means from the perspective of the person who's experiencing it.
https://www.politico.com/news/2026/06/15/supreme-court-ice-detention-case-00962228 -
Today #IHopeJohnRoberts Is thinking a lot about how long his wife has been away incommunicado and even though it's only been, what, just a little over two weeks?, it still seems like forever, and it's making him start to reconsider, just a little, just a tiny little bit, what the word "prolonged" means from the perspective of the person who's experiencing it.
https://www.politico.com/news/2026/06/15/supreme-court-ice-detention-case-00962228I hope that today John Roberts thinks about the fact that the Court still has twenty more decisions to release before its term ends at the end of June, and not only the workload but also the emotional tension of walking his tightrope (making Trump king while still appearing to be a principled jurist) has him feeling simply exhausted, plus Clarence Thomas (worried about Roberts being lonely and depressed now that his wife, children, and priest all have come to hate him for what's he's doing to democracy) has invited him to join his and Ginny's planned RV trip through Scranton and Peoria all the way to Lincoln, Neb., and there are not enough fzcking spoons in the fzcking universe to do a road trip with the fzcking Thomases no matter how tricked out their RV is. #IHopeJohnRoberts
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I hope that today John Roberts thinks about the fact that the Court still has twenty more decisions to release before its term ends at the end of June, and not only the workload but also the emotional tension of walking his tightrope (making Trump king while still appearing to be a principled jurist) has him feeling simply exhausted, plus Clarence Thomas (worried about Roberts being lonely and depressed now that his wife, children, and priest all have come to hate him for what's he's doing to democracy) has invited him to join his and Ginny's planned RV trip through Scranton and Peoria all the way to Lincoln, Neb., and there are not enough fzcking spoons in the fzcking universe to do a road trip with the fzcking Thomases no matter how tricked out their RV is. #IHopeJohnRoberts
I like to think that for years US Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts periodically has fantastized that he was just an anonymous person who could wander out on the National Mall on a nice warm day without anyone recognizing him and maybe, when the park service isn't looking too closely, remove his shoes and just dangle his feet in the cool water of the reflecting pool, and today #IHopeJohnRoberts has that thought again but then realizes that even if he were a nobody he still couldn't do it because of the algae, and for a very, very brief moment that actually makes him feel a little better about things, and then he goes back to feeling bad.
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@dancingtreefrog Pretty sure that's RFK Jr., actually.
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I like to think that for years US Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts periodically has fantastized that he was just an anonymous person who could wander out on the National Mall on a nice warm day without anyone recognizing him and maybe, when the park service isn't looking too closely, remove his shoes and just dangle his feet in the cool water of the reflecting pool, and today #IHopeJohnRoberts has that thought again but then realizes that even if he were a nobody he still couldn't do it because of the algae, and for a very, very brief moment that actually makes him feel a little better about things, and then he goes back to feeling bad.
This Juneteenth #IHopeJohnRoberts is snubbed by Clarence Thomas for forgetting to offer him an act of reparation, because Clarence thinks he is entitled to at least be made the offer even though he doesn't actually believe in acts of reparation and doesn't even think enslavement was that bad and sometimes he and Ginny even play a special intimate roleplaying game on that theme.
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@karlauerbach Okay, now *you're* kinky. Dang.
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@deirdresm Oh, that's lovely.
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This Juneteenth #IHopeJohnRoberts is snubbed by Clarence Thomas for forgetting to offer him an act of reparation, because Clarence thinks he is entitled to at least be made the offer even though he doesn't actually believe in acts of reparation and doesn't even think enslavement was that bad and sometimes he and Ginny even play a special intimate roleplaying game on that theme.
I hope today finds John Roberts wandering lonely through his large home, trying to come to terms with the fact that his wife has left him, and finds himself in their shared library, and notices her shelves are fuller than his and include three diverse novels from just last year ("Wild Dark Shore" by Charlotte McConaghy, "Flesh: A Novel" by David Szalay, and TJ Alexander's "A Gentleman's Gentleman"), while the most recent book on his shelf is Jonathan Franzen's "The Corrections" and he only got about a third of the way through that, and he wonders if that has something to do with why she left him, and also as he looks at the back cover of Alexander's book he realizes he has no idea what the Lambda Literary Award is. #IHopeJohnRoberts
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I hope today finds John Roberts wandering lonely through his large home, trying to come to terms with the fact that his wife has left him, and finds himself in their shared library, and notices her shelves are fuller than his and include three diverse novels from just last year ("Wild Dark Shore" by Charlotte McConaghy, "Flesh: A Novel" by David Szalay, and TJ Alexander's "A Gentleman's Gentleman"), while the most recent book on his shelf is Jonathan Franzen's "The Corrections" and he only got about a third of the way through that, and he wonders if that has something to do with why she left him, and also as he looks at the back cover of Alexander's book he realizes he has no idea what the Lambda Literary Award is. #IHopeJohnRoberts
I hope none of John Roberts' children call him for #FathersDay today, and he's finally starting to understand why. #IHopeJohnRoberts
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@karlauerbach No, but it does when he calls them.
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I hope none of John Roberts' children call him for #FathersDay today, and he's finally starting to understand why. #IHopeJohnRoberts
Last night #IHopeJohnRoberts dreamed he was a Black congressman in Alabama watching his district get gerrymandered out from under him, and that he woke up this morning in a cold sweat, having peed himself a little.
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Last night #IHopeJohnRoberts dreamed he was a Black congressman in Alabama watching his district get gerrymandered out from under him, and that he woke up this morning in a cold sweat, having peed himself a little.
I hope John Roberts gets a herpes sore on his lip. #IHopeJohnRoberts
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@Mercurial Honestly, some days I'm just tired and phone it in.
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I hope John Roberts gets a herpes sore on his lip. #IHopeJohnRoberts
I hope John Roberts' favorite restaurant closes.
#IHopeJohnRoberts -
I hope John Roberts' favorite restaurant closes.
#IHopeJohnRoberts*gasps*
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*gasps*
@darth_hideout Misery loves company. https://c.im/@msbellows/116806533864515438
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@wyatt_h_knott@mstdn.social Great minds etc. etc.
https://c.im/@msbellows/116494562908269198and
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@wyatt_h_knott@mstdn.social My curses are getting meaner over time. It's not easy being humorous about a monster.
