I hope John Roberts can't watch the NFL playoff games today because he has explosive diarrhea.
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As he continues strolling aimlessly down urban #KansasCity streets, occasionally trying to rub the pigeon crap off his sleeve but forgetting that there's also some still in his hair, #IHopeJohnRoberts remembers that he's missing his nephew's wedding and hopes they aren't missing him too much. (They aren't.)
As he continues walking down dirty city streets, #IHopeJohnRoberts discovers a hole in the sole of one of his shoes.
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As he continues walking down dirty city streets, #IHopeJohnRoberts discovers a hole in the sole of one of his shoes.
#IHopeJohnRoberts steps in a dirty puddle with the shoe with a hole in the sole.
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#IHopeJohnRoberts steps in a dirty puddle with the shoe with a hole in the sole.
#IHopeJohnRoberts is still just walking down the street thinking his own thoughts when an unmarked white van rolls slowly by and two guys who seem to be wearing some sort of web gear look out the window at him and he realizes they might be ICE and suddenly panics that if they stop and demand to see his ID they'll realize who he is and then people will come and drag him back to DC and make him be Chief Justice again.
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#IHopeJohnRoberts is still just walking down the street thinking his own thoughts when an unmarked white van rolls slowly by and two guys who seem to be wearing some sort of web gear look out the window at him and he realizes they might be ICE and suddenly panics that if they stop and demand to see his ID they'll realize who he is and then people will come and drag him back to DC and make him be Chief Justice again.
#IHopeJohnRoberts gets soaked in a brief morning thundershower then has to walk around the rest of the day in damp clothes that never quite dry in K.C.'s high humidity, and his crotch rot starts to return.
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#IHopeJohnRoberts gets soaked in a brief morning thundershower then has to walk around the rest of the day in damp clothes that never quite dry in K.C.'s high humidity, and his crotch rot starts to return.
@msbellows I’m glad you’ve paused him on his grand journey long enough to toss in a few everyday indignities.
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@msbellows I’m glad you’ve paused him on his grand journey long enough to toss in a few everyday indignities.
@Devils_Rancher honestly, I'm doing other stuff and don't have a strong vision at this point, so I just have him wandering around sort of like Dwight Schrute flying over Second Life with no destination.
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@Devils_Rancher honestly, I'm doing other stuff and don't have a strong vision at this point, so I just have him wandering around sort of like Dwight Schrute flying over Second Life with no destination.
@msbellows Stuck in a sort of purgatory works too.
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#IHopeJohnRoberts gets soaked in a brief morning thundershower then has to walk around the rest of the day in damp clothes that never quite dry in K.C.'s high humidity, and his crotch rot starts to return.
#IHopeJohnRoberts 's wet shoe starts giving him a blister.
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#IHopeJohnRoberts 's wet shoe starts giving him a blister.
As he's walking down a random street in downtown #KansasCity just east of US-71, contemplating his life choices and wishing his blister didn't hurt so much, #IHopeJohnRoberts unexpectedly gets slapped in the face by a thrown naan, as a broken baguette flops limply into the middle of the street beside him and a bunch of teenagers go "oh, shit!" and flee frantically down the fire escapes from a nearby roof. https://metalhead.club/@HailsandAles/117054979330660362
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As he's walking down a random street in downtown #KansasCity just east of US-71, contemplating his life choices and wishing his blister didn't hurt so much, #IHopeJohnRoberts unexpectedly gets slapped in the face by a thrown naan, as a broken baguette flops limply into the middle of the street beside him and a bunch of teenagers go "oh, shit!" and flee frantically down the fire escapes from a nearby roof. https://metalhead.club/@HailsandAles/117054979330660362
As he wanders aimlessly through downtown-adjacent #KansasCity neighborhoods nursing a holey shoe, a blister, and a cheek that smells like garlic naan, #IHopeJohnRoberts comes across a castle, an honest-to-God castle, with turrets and crenellations and everything, and wonders if the graffiti is historically accurate, the same way ancient Greek statues actually were colorfully painted. #KC
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@intrepidhero Reality is too painful. I had to introduce surrealism. I suspect a little supernaturalism may even be lurking around the corner.
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As he wanders aimlessly through downtown-adjacent #KansasCity neighborhoods nursing a holey shoe, a blister, and a cheek that smells like garlic naan, #IHopeJohnRoberts comes across a castle, an honest-to-God castle, with turrets and crenellations and everything, and wonders if the graffiti is historically accurate, the same way ancient Greek statues actually were colorfully painted. #KC
As he continues gazing at the castle he unexpectedly stumbled across while roaming downtown Kansas City, #IHopeJohnRoberts has the flawed yet surprisingly generous thought that it's sort of sad that Black people have to live in lower-quality houses instead of in a cool castle like this one, not realizing that what he's looking at used to be a "workhouse" (prison).
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As he continues gazing at the castle he unexpectedly stumbled across while roaming downtown Kansas City, #IHopeJohnRoberts has the flawed yet surprisingly generous thought that it's sort of sad that Black people have to live in lower-quality houses instead of in a cool castle like this one, not realizing that what he's looking at used to be a "workhouse" (prison).
#IHopeJohnRoberts is getting pretty hungry and there's a really fantastic-smelling KC BBQ place right across the street but he realizes he stashed most of his money under the mattress in his motel a couple of miles back and he only has $4 on him.
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#IHopeJohnRoberts is getting pretty hungry and there's a really fantastic-smelling KC BBQ place right across the street but he realizes he stashed most of his money under the mattress in his motel a couple of miles back and he only has $4 on him.
#IHopeJohnRoberts almost gets run over in the street by a rogue AI.
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#IHopeJohnRoberts almost gets run over in the street by a rogue AI.
@msbellows "Rogue AI" is the latest model from Tesla.
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@msbellows "Rogue AI" is the latest model from Tesla.
@karlauerbach And now I'm wondering why Palantir hasn't come out with a self-driving car yet.
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#IHopeJohnRoberts almost gets run over in the street by a rogue AI.
Wandering, wandering, wandering hungrily through unfamiliar streets under the darkening sky of a strange city,
#IHopeJohnRoberts suddenly wonders if he's a ghost, and tries to think of a way to test it that won't involve physical pain or talking to people. -
Wandering, wandering, wandering hungrily through unfamiliar streets under the darkening sky of a strange city,
#IHopeJohnRoberts suddenly wonders if he's a ghost, and tries to think of a way to test it that won't involve physical pain or talking to people.As he wanders hungry and lonely through the streets of an unfamiliar city, #IHopeJohnRoberts is mugged by a sad Iraqi teenager who's just trying to survive since his parents, including his father who was an interpreter for US troops, were deported in large part due to rulings the Roberts Court made, and loses both the $4 he's carrying and the gold Omega watch his wife gave him for their 10th anniversary.
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As he wanders hungry and lonely through the streets of an unfamiliar city, #IHopeJohnRoberts is mugged by a sad Iraqi teenager who's just trying to survive since his parents, including his father who was an interpreter for US troops, were deported in large part due to rulings the Roberts Court made, and loses both the $4 he's carrying and the gold Omega watch his wife gave him for their 10th anniversary.
@msbellows Robert's wrist watch and calendar all run backwards towards 1953.
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@msbellows Robert's wrist watch and calendar all run backwards towards 1953.
@karlauerbach It's wild that you knew that. Most people don't! Yeah, imagine how different today's world would be if John Roberts' watch repair guy hadn't put that one cog in backwards.
