I hope John Roberts can't watch the NFL playoff games today because he has explosive diarrhea.
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@Devils_Rancher honestly, I'm doing other stuff and don't have a strong vision at this point, so I just have him wandering around sort of like Dwight Schrute flying over Second Life with no destination.
@msbellows Stuck in a sort of purgatory works too.

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#IHopeJohnRoberts gets soaked in a brief morning thundershower then has to walk around the rest of the day in damp clothes that never quite dry in K.C.'s high humidity, and his crotch rot starts to return.
#IHopeJohnRoberts 's wet shoe starts giving him a blister.
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#IHopeJohnRoberts 's wet shoe starts giving him a blister.
As he's walking down a random street in downtown #KansasCity just east of US-71, contemplating his life choices and wishing his blister didn't hurt so much, #IHopeJohnRoberts unexpectedly gets slapped in the face by a thrown naan, as a broken baguette flops limply into the middle of the street beside him and a bunch of teenagers go "oh, shit!" and flee frantically down the fire escapes from a nearby roof. https://metalhead.club/@HailsandAles/117054979330660362
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As he's walking down a random street in downtown #KansasCity just east of US-71, contemplating his life choices and wishing his blister didn't hurt so much, #IHopeJohnRoberts unexpectedly gets slapped in the face by a thrown naan, as a broken baguette flops limply into the middle of the street beside him and a bunch of teenagers go "oh, shit!" and flee frantically down the fire escapes from a nearby roof. https://metalhead.club/@HailsandAles/117054979330660362
As he wanders aimlessly through downtown-adjacent #KansasCity neighborhoods nursing a holey shoe, a blister, and a cheek that smells like garlic naan, #IHopeJohnRoberts comes across a castle, an honest-to-God castle, with turrets and crenellations and everything, and wonders if the graffiti is historically accurate, the same way ancient Greek statues actually were colorfully painted. #KC
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@intrepidhero Reality is too painful. I had to introduce surrealism. I suspect a little supernaturalism may even be lurking around the corner.
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As he wanders aimlessly through downtown-adjacent #KansasCity neighborhoods nursing a holey shoe, a blister, and a cheek that smells like garlic naan, #IHopeJohnRoberts comes across a castle, an honest-to-God castle, with turrets and crenellations and everything, and wonders if the graffiti is historically accurate, the same way ancient Greek statues actually were colorfully painted. #KC
As he continues gazing at the castle he unexpectedly stumbled across while roaming downtown Kansas City, #IHopeJohnRoberts has the flawed yet surprisingly generous thought that it's sort of sad that Black people have to live in lower-quality houses instead of in a cool castle like this one, not realizing that what he's looking at used to be a "workhouse" (prison).
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As he continues gazing at the castle he unexpectedly stumbled across while roaming downtown Kansas City, #IHopeJohnRoberts has the flawed yet surprisingly generous thought that it's sort of sad that Black people have to live in lower-quality houses instead of in a cool castle like this one, not realizing that what he's looking at used to be a "workhouse" (prison).
#IHopeJohnRoberts is getting pretty hungry and there's a really fantastic-smelling KC BBQ place right across the street but he realizes he stashed most of his money under the mattress in his motel a couple of miles back and he only has $4 on him.
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#IHopeJohnRoberts is getting pretty hungry and there's a really fantastic-smelling KC BBQ place right across the street but he realizes he stashed most of his money under the mattress in his motel a couple of miles back and he only has $4 on him.
#IHopeJohnRoberts almost gets run over in the street by a rogue AI.
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#IHopeJohnRoberts almost gets run over in the street by a rogue AI.
@msbellows "Rogue AI" is the latest model from Tesla.
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@msbellows "Rogue AI" is the latest model from Tesla.
@karlauerbach And now I'm wondering why Palantir hasn't come out with a self-driving car yet.
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#IHopeJohnRoberts almost gets run over in the street by a rogue AI.
Wandering, wandering, wandering hungrily through unfamiliar streets under the darkening sky of a strange city,
#IHopeJohnRoberts suddenly wonders if he's a ghost, and tries to think of a way to test it that won't involve physical pain or talking to people. -
Wandering, wandering, wandering hungrily through unfamiliar streets under the darkening sky of a strange city,
#IHopeJohnRoberts suddenly wonders if he's a ghost, and tries to think of a way to test it that won't involve physical pain or talking to people.As he wanders hungry and lonely through the streets of an unfamiliar city, #IHopeJohnRoberts is mugged by a sad Iraqi teenager who's just trying to survive since his parents, including his father who was an interpreter for US troops, were deported in large part due to rulings the Roberts Court made, and loses both the $4 he's carrying and the gold Omega watch his wife gave him for their 10th anniversary.
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As he wanders hungry and lonely through the streets of an unfamiliar city, #IHopeJohnRoberts is mugged by a sad Iraqi teenager who's just trying to survive since his parents, including his father who was an interpreter for US troops, were deported in large part due to rulings the Roberts Court made, and loses both the $4 he's carrying and the gold Omega watch his wife gave him for their 10th anniversary.
@msbellows Robert's wrist watch and calendar all run backwards towards 1953.
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@msbellows Robert's wrist watch and calendar all run backwards towards 1953.
@karlauerbach It's wild that you knew that. Most people don't! Yeah, imagine how different today's world would be if John Roberts' watch repair guy hadn't put that one cog in backwards.
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As he wanders hungry and lonely through the streets of an unfamiliar city, #IHopeJohnRoberts is mugged by a sad Iraqi teenager who's just trying to survive since his parents, including his father who was an interpreter for US troops, were deported in large part due to rulings the Roberts Court made, and loses both the $4 he's carrying and the gold Omega watch his wife gave him for their 10th anniversary.
After getting robbed of his $4 by the desperate child of deported immigrants, #IHopeJohnRoberts continues walking back in the direction of his hotel, hungry after not having eaten anything all day, and then two blocks later comes across a tiny lunch joint advertising brisket sandwiches for $4, but he doesn't have his $4 anymore so he just keeps trudging along being hungry.
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After getting robbed of his $4 by the desperate child of deported immigrants, #IHopeJohnRoberts continues walking back in the direction of his hotel, hungry after not having eaten anything all day, and then two blocks later comes across a tiny lunch joint advertising brisket sandwiches for $4, but he doesn't have his $4 anymore so he just keeps trudging along being hungry.
As he tries to find his way back to his cheap motel in a city strange to him, #IHopeJohnRoberts sees a public library and stops in to see if there's any news about his disappearance, but they don't have paper newspapers hung on sticks anymore and the free computers are all being used by unhoused people playing Wordle.
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As he tries to find his way back to his cheap motel in a city strange to him, #IHopeJohnRoberts sees a public library and stops in to see if there's any news about his disappearance, but they don't have paper newspapers hung on sticks anymore and the free computers are all being used by unhoused people playing Wordle.
@mastoreaderio unroll
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@mastoreaderio unroll
@msbellows here's the unrolled thread: https://mastoreader.io?url=https%3A%2F%2Fc.im%2F%40msbellows%2F117100255878592114
Next time, kindly set the visibility to 'Mentioned people only' and mention only me (@mastoreaderio). This ensures we avoid spamming others' timelines and threads unless you intend for others to see the unrolled thread link as well.
Thank you!
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As he tries to find his way back to his cheap motel in a city strange to him, #IHopeJohnRoberts sees a public library and stops in to see if there's any news about his disappearance, but they don't have paper newspapers hung on sticks anymore and the free computers are all being used by unhoused people playing Wordle.
#IHopeJohnRoberts finally reaches the cheap generic motel near the bus station where he's rented a room without ID for cash and goes to his ground-floor room #107 and puts his big old-school key with the diamond-shaped plastic fob into the physical metal lock but it doesn't fit so he reverses it and tries again but it still doesn't fit and then the door bursts open and he's confronted by a huge bald tattooed caraway-skinned guy with a fading but visible erection behind the grayish tighty-whities he's wearing and behind him on the bed Roberts notices a skinny naked woman he thinks of as "mulatto" with small deflated pancake breasts and clothespins ??? on her dark oval gravity-drawn nipples right before the huge man shoves him backwards yelling "this is not your fucking room!" and as Roberts sprawls backwards onto his back on the dirty concrete he sees the motel sign looming above him on its thick metal pole illuminated against the twilight sky and even as he's falling he notices it says "Rodeway Mo-Tel" whereas his is the "Road-Waze Motor Hotel" and gosh does he feel embarrassed as the guy kicks him once in the ribs (soccer-style because he's barefoot) and slams the door closed again.
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#IHopeJohnRoberts finally reaches the cheap generic motel near the bus station where he's rented a room without ID for cash and goes to his ground-floor room #107 and puts his big old-school key with the diamond-shaped plastic fob into the physical metal lock but it doesn't fit so he reverses it and tries again but it still doesn't fit and then the door bursts open and he's confronted by a huge bald tattooed caraway-skinned guy with a fading but visible erection behind the grayish tighty-whities he's wearing and behind him on the bed Roberts notices a skinny naked woman he thinks of as "mulatto" with small deflated pancake breasts and clothespins ??? on her dark oval gravity-drawn nipples right before the huge man shoves him backwards yelling "this is not your fucking room!" and as Roberts sprawls backwards onto his back on the dirty concrete he sees the motel sign looming above him on its thick metal pole illuminated against the twilight sky and even as he's falling he notices it says "Rodeway Mo-Tel" whereas his is the "Road-Waze Motor Hotel" and gosh does he feel embarrassed as the guy kicks him once in the ribs (soccer-style because he's barefoot) and slams the door closed again.
As he stumbles away from the wrong motel trying to find the right motel, #IHopeJohnRoberts has to stop because his ribs are hurting from that kick the guy gave him, and he slumps against the wall of a building and just sits on the sidewalk waiting to feel better, and a passerby sees him slumped on the ground with the hole in his shoe and the wet clothing and the look of despair and hands him a card with the address of a volunteer-run cafe that serves the unhoused, and Roberts simply has no tools or life experiences whatsoever that might allow him to even begin to know how he feels about that.