RANKED. COMPETITIVE.

[snaprails@cupoftea.social]

@Black_Flag @JonBaker and it must land on its end.

[megamichelle@a2mi.social]

@JonBaker

I had a dream one time that there was a "secret pooping competition". Four people on toilets. One is pooping. The audience tries to guess who it is and the pooper tries to hide that it's them.

[ntrembath@mastodon.social]

@JonBaker game of thrones

[rightsprung@c.im]

@JonBaker

Chili last night. Put me in, coach!

[axolotl@mastodon.pirateparty.be]

@JonBaker get ready for the championshit

[ahltorp@mastodon.nu]

@woutervanmaanen @JonBaker Which reminds me: when I volunteered at a festival/conference in the Netherlands in 1997, the boxes the toilet paper came in labeled it as "Professional toilet paper". We wondered what that meant. And now we know.

[jonbaker@mastodon.social]

@ntrembath there we go, that’s the one

[isol@mastodon.au]

@JonBaker

The enshittification of the Royal Highland Show.

[passwordsarehard4@mastodon.social]

@ColmDonoghue @darkling @JonBaker Ive been working on an avant-garde interpretive poop but didn think I’d be able to find a receptive audience.

[pauldrye@spacey.space]

@JonBaker Winner stands atop the poodium, flush with success.

[wtl@mastodon.social]

@JonBaker @catsalad This feels like it should be something on ESPN. The FCC will allow anything now.

Think of all the points of competition: volume of, quantity of, quality of, and type of poop (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bristol_stool_scale). Oh! And speed! This is getting more ridiculous the more I think about it.

[nickrauchen@c.im]

@JonBaker

Well trained cattle that can poop in a toilet!

[pixelpusher220@dmv.community]

@JonBaker

[jayelbey@ioc.exchange]

@JonBaker
I don't wanna know about the scoring!

[bonkers@nerdculture.de]

@ColmDonoghue @darkling @JonBaker distance, speed, time and colour.

[not3ottersinacoat@mastodon.social]

@JonBaker Finally, it's my time to shine!

[not3ottersinacoat@mastodon.social]

@woutervanmaanen so that's why you have those poop shelves.

[brianjohnson@universeodon.com]

@JonBaker When you want to be number one at number two.

[not3ottersinacoat@mastodon.social]

@rightsprung Humble yourself; I had veggie samosas with chutney.

[fernandobasso@mastodon.social]

@JonBaker https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8-xCu9hHa8