Gimme your best pickup lines.🚩 answers only.
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@jared aww 🥰
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@alice not a pickup line but one of my friend's favourite jokes is simply: "... but WHERE on eileen?"
@selectric @alice LISBETH
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Only ever used one: “I’m 18 years and 18 days old today. “
A bit of a one-off.
But we’re still together 42 1/2 years later. So I guess it worked …
@iamdavidobrien congratulations
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@alice Did it hurt?
She, rolling her eyes, what?
When you broke through the earths crust on your way up from hell?
Gotta say that one would work on me
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Gimme your best pickup lines.
answers only.I'll start.
"I named my legs Master lock, because if you pick me they'll open right up."
"What's better than Smoke on the Water? Come on Eileen."¹
¹ a guy at a bar actually used his one on a friend of mine after overhearing her name
@alice “Your body must preserve lines and parallelism because that’s a fine trans form”
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@alice "The voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you."
@darkling ooo, have your people talk to my people and maybe we can do lunch.
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Okay, now that I've thought of it, I kinda want a little "U" tattooed on my tit, so I can pull my tank top down a little and say...
- If you play your cards right, I could see U here tonight.
- I have a tattoo of U on my chest; wanna see?
- We only just met, but I'll keep U close to my heart forever.
@alice brb, gotta grow boobs just to do this
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@alice @mindpersephone So his superpower is to deliberately cause himself pain?
...
Man, villains are getting *weird* lately.
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@alice brb, gotta grow boobs just to do this
@CynAq good luck!
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@alice @mindpersephone So his superpower is to deliberately cause himself pain?
...
Man, villains are getting *weird* lately.
@madengineering I feel like most people possess that superpower
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@darkling ooo, have your people talk to my people and maybe we can do lunch.
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This only works if the goth baddie responds the right way, but if she does, it's golden
True story: a friend of mine in New Orleans wondered how I was able to seduce so many women. I told him "watch and learn"
(I was absolutely expecting to get a drink thrown in my face, btw.
)Walked up to a hot tattooed rocker chick.
"Can I sit down and have a conversation with you?"
Rocker chick: "Why?"
"Because I think you're hot and wanna fuck you but you might open your mouth, be a nitwit, and ruin it"
Rocker chick *appalled*
Cont.. (1/2)
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True story: a friend of mine in New Orleans wondered how I was able to seduce so many women. I told him "watch and learn"
(I was absolutely expecting to get a drink thrown in my face, btw.
)Walked up to a hot tattooed rocker chick.
"Can I sit down and have a conversation with you?"
Rocker chick: "Why?"
"Because I think you're hot and wanna fuck you but you might open your mouth, be a nitwit, and ruin it"
Rocker chick *appalled*
Cont.. (1/2)
Rocker chick: "I can't believe you just said that to me."
Me: ".... well can I still sit down?"
Rocker chick: "OK."
10 minutes later we were out the door and shortly after that we were making sweet, sweet, lo-
OK we were fucking like dirty nasty piggies
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Okay, now that I've thought of it, I kinda want a little "U" tattooed on my tit, so I can pull my tank top down a little and say...
- If you play your cards right, I could see U here tonight.
- I have a tattoo of U on my chest; wanna see?
- We only just met, but I'll keep U close to my heart forever.
@alice I wonder if anyone will think you are a fan of Mamoru Hosoda.
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@alice I wonder if anyone will think you are a fan of Mamoru Hosoda.
@ygor never heard of that until now. Looks entertaining though.
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@alice “Your body must preserve lines and parallelism because that’s a fine trans form”
@griotspeak one ze's content warning is another femme's content winning 🤭
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@iamdavidobrien congratulations
I am offering it under a Creative Commons licence.
So if you’re lucky enough to be 18 years and 18 days old today, and have some sort of chance of getting laid, feel free to use it.
To the best of my knowledge it has a 100% success rate.
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@ygor never heard of that until now. Looks entertaining though.
@alice It's my current favorite movie
I do agree with some critics who say it makes some dodgy logic leaps to get to where it wants to go, but in my heart I feel that it's worth it 🥹
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Okay, now that I've thought of it, I kinda want a little "U" tattooed on my tit, so I can pull my tank top down a little and say...
- If you play your cards right, I could see U here tonight.
- I have a tattoo of U on my chest; wanna see?
- We only just met, but I'll keep U close to my heart forever.
@alice Here in the UK there was a game show called Play Your Cards Right. I don't want to be thinking about Bruce Forsyth (talented though he was) saying "You don't get anything for a pair, not in this game" when seeing a pair of breasts
