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  3. the rapture doesn’t work if you’re indoors.

the rapture doesn’t work if you’re indoors.

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  • samhenrigold@hachyderm.ioS samhenrigold@hachyderm.io

    the rapture doesn’t work if you’re indoors. so if you’re in Costco and you get raptured, then you’ll just hit the ceiling like a helium balloon

    artnacrea@mastodon.ieA This user is from outside of this forum
    artnacrea@mastodon.ieA This user is from outside of this forum
    artnacrea@mastodon.ie
    wrote sidst redigeret af
    #15

    @samhenrigold

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    • samhenrigold@hachyderm.ioS samhenrigold@hachyderm.io

      the rapture doesn’t work if you’re indoors. so if you’re in Costco and you get raptured, then you’ll just hit the ceiling like a helium balloon

      tuban_muzuru@beige.partyT This user is from outside of this forum
      tuban_muzuru@beige.partyT This user is from outside of this forum
      tuban_muzuru@beige.party
      wrote sidst redigeret af
      #16

      @samhenrigold

      That's not the way it's gonna work, Sam.

      The Rapture will look like the transporter beam as prophesied on Star Trek. And, like the ST Transporter, Almighty God also invented the transporter beam, as did Gene Roddenberry, on the cheap, to avoid building a bunch of spaceship props.

      As 'twas foretold" "In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye" - and a shower of aluminum powder...

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      • samhenrigold@hachyderm.ioS samhenrigold@hachyderm.io

        the rapture doesn’t work if you’re indoors. so if you’re in Costco and you get raptured, then you’ll just hit the ceiling like a helium balloon

        davidbcohen@twit.socialD This user is from outside of this forum
        davidbcohen@twit.socialD This user is from outside of this forum
        davidbcohen@twit.social
        wrote sidst redigeret af
        #17

        @samhenrigold But if you are in Costco aren’t you already in heaven?

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        • samhenrigold@hachyderm.ioS samhenrigold@hachyderm.io

          the rapture doesn’t work if you’re indoors. so if you’re in Costco and you get raptured, then you’ll just hit the ceiling like a helium balloon

          wintergr33n@lingo.lolW This user is from outside of this forum
          wintergr33n@lingo.lolW This user is from outside of this forum
          wintergr33n@lingo.lol
          wrote sidst redigeret af
          #18

          @samhenrigold

          That's why the hot dog prices never change.

          People are eating the last rapture.

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          • samhenrigold@hachyderm.ioS samhenrigold@hachyderm.io

            the rapture doesn’t work if you’re indoors. so if you’re in Costco and you get raptured, then you’ll just hit the ceiling like a helium balloon

            estelle@mstdn.socialE This user is from outside of this forum
            estelle@mstdn.socialE This user is from outside of this forum
            estelle@mstdn.social
            wrote sidst redigeret af
            #19

            @samhenrigold can not be raptured while in a dungeon

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            • samhenrigold@hachyderm.ioS samhenrigold@hachyderm.io

              the rapture doesn’t work if you’re indoors. so if you’re in Costco and you get raptured, then you’ll just hit the ceiling like a helium balloon

              justinw80@mastodon.socialJ This user is from outside of this forum
              justinw80@mastodon.socialJ This user is from outside of this forum
              justinw80@mastodon.social
              wrote sidst redigeret af
              #20

              @samhenrigold if you get raptured from a boat, but the boat crosses a time zone or the date line westbound, you’ll come back.

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              • samhenrigold@hachyderm.ioS samhenrigold@hachyderm.io

                the rapture doesn’t work if you’re indoors. so if you’re in Costco and you get raptured, then you’ll just hit the ceiling like a helium balloon

                bcasiello@floss.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                bcasiello@floss.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                bcasiello@floss.social
                wrote sidst redigeret af
                #21

                @samhenrigold @catsalad Me, on the ceiling: “Hey, kid, toss me a blowtorch, I gotta cut my way out”
                (Kid throws it, it falls back and conks him on the head)
                Me: “HAHAHAHAHA!”
                (I slam into the floor)

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                • samhenrigold@hachyderm.ioS samhenrigold@hachyderm.io

                  the rapture doesn’t work if you’re indoors. so if you’re in Costco and you get raptured, then you’ll just hit the ceiling like a helium balloon

                  brokenwing.bsky.social@bsky.brid.gyB This user is from outside of this forum
                  brokenwing.bsky.social@bsky.brid.gyB This user is from outside of this forum
                  brokenwing.bsky.social@bsky.brid.gy
                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                  #22

                  Do you fall back down when the rapture beam moves on, and splat on the floor in the laxatives aisle?

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                  • samhenrigold@hachyderm.ioS samhenrigold@hachyderm.io

                    the rapture doesn’t work if you’re indoors. so if you’re in Costco and you get raptured, then you’ll just hit the ceiling like a helium balloon

                    asbestos@pnw.zoneA This user is from outside of this forum
                    asbestos@pnw.zoneA This user is from outside of this forum
                    asbestos@pnw.zone
                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                    #23

                    @samhenrigold
                    O all the chuds at the Walmart and Tractor Supply are going to be pissed.
                    😂

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                    • samhenrigold@hachyderm.ioS samhenrigold@hachyderm.io

                      the rapture doesn’t work if you’re indoors. so if you’re in Costco and you get raptured, then you’ll just hit the ceiling like a helium balloon

                      njf@social.lolN This user is from outside of this forum
                      njf@social.lolN This user is from outside of this forum
                      njf@social.lol
                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                      #24

                      @samhenrigold no if you’re in Costco, you won’t get the signal and then when you walk outside, you’ll get an alert for 1 missed rapture and a voicemail from the Archangel Gabriel

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                      • jwcph@helvede.netJ jwcph@helvede.net shared this topic
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