Aunt: Do you still make furniture
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*chars
I'm sorry we need them to FLOAT; we have someone poppins round for tea.
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Attaching legs to things is not at all trivial. Not all table-shaped objects are sturdy tables I'd trust to climb on and fix the curtains.
The way I made mine was to make a couple of H shaped leg assemblies that the table can rest on so pretty much all of the forces are compressive.
It's held up for 5 years so far and shows no sign of breaking anytime soon, I've stood my fat ass on it more than once to change the lightbulbs above it.
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@futurebird omgooooodddddddd this is too pure and beautiful and like in some way I WISH I'd been making real tables for the last ten years
Let's retrain to be carpenters, so we can keep making tables.
@futurebird@sauropods.win @hwll@sunny.garden
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To be fair to her I was also into theatre and loved helping with set design and know a smattering of chaotic carpentry. But IDK if I could just post up and make a table.
@futurebird 'Whenever she "thought of his work" she always saw clearly before her a large kitchen table. It was Andrew’s doing. She asked him what his father’s books were about. "Subject and object and the nature of reality," Andrew had said. And when she said Heavens, she had no notion what that meant. "Think of a kitchen table then," he told her, "when you’re not there."'
-- Virginia Woolf, To the Lighthouse -
The way I made mine was to make a couple of H shaped leg assemblies that the table can rest on so pretty much all of the forces are compressive.
It's held up for 5 years so far and shows no sign of breaking anytime soon, I've stood my fat ass on it more than once to change the lightbulbs above it.
Amazing!
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The way I made mine was to make a couple of H shaped leg assemblies that the table can rest on so pretty much all of the forces are compressive.
It's held up for 5 years so far and shows no sign of breaking anytime soon, I've stood my fat ass on it more than once to change the lightbulbs above it.
I assume you have "table architecture and design" on your CV.
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I assume you have "table architecture and design" on your CV.
Absolutely not, never doing that again. It was way too much effort and I do not have the patience to do it anywhere near correctly.
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I'm considering a reality show where people have to do the job that other people THINK their job is.
@futurebird @mansr Cue the memes…
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To be fair to her I was also into theatre and loved helping with set design and know a smattering of chaotic carpentry. But IDK if I could just post up and make a table.
@futurebird Chaotic Carpentry is the name of my MC Hammer cover band
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Aunt: Do you still make furniture?
Me: What? I don't think I've ever made furniture.
Aunt: But I remember when you were just out of college you were so proud of that job in NYC doing table design. On the computer. I guess you didn't really build them yourself, then.For two decades this sweet woman thought I was making literal wooden tables. I just thought that designing the tables was the most fun and glamorous part of database design.
@futurebird chaotic carpentry is the new goat farming
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Aunt: Do you still make furniture?
Me: What? I don't think I've ever made furniture.
Aunt: But I remember when you were just out of college you were so proud of that job in NYC doing table design. On the computer. I guess you didn't really build them yourself, then.For two decades this sweet woman thought I was making literal wooden tables. I just thought that designing the tables was the most fun and glamorous part of database design.
@futurebird When I did database theory in my degree, one of the processes of normalisation was “no L shaped tables” ironically I have mainly worked on databases at L shaped desks ever since.
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To be fair to her I was also into theatre and loved helping with set design and know a smattering of chaotic carpentry. But IDK if I could just post up and make a table.
@futurebird
SELECT Top, Legs
FROM Table
JOIN Top ON Legs -
Aunt: Do you still make furniture?
Me: What? I don't think I've ever made furniture.
Aunt: But I remember when you were just out of college you were so proud of that job in NYC doing table design. On the computer. I guess you didn't really build them yourself, then.For two decades this sweet woman thought I was making literal wooden tables. I just thought that designing the tables was the most fun and glamorous part of database design.
omg that is so precious!
I mean your aunt, and what you said about database design. So true! -
Aunt: Do you still make furniture?
Me: What? I don't think I've ever made furniture.
Aunt: But I remember when you were just out of college you were so proud of that job in NYC doing table design. On the computer. I guess you didn't really build them yourself, then.For two decades this sweet woman thought I was making literal wooden tables. I just thought that designing the tables was the most fun and glamorous part of database design.
@futurebird Well you could make materialized tabl… [getting dragged away from the computer]
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To be fair to her I was also into theatre and loved helping with set design and know a smattering of chaotic carpentry. But IDK if I could just post up and make a table.
@futurebird evil-kermit-do-it.gif
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I'm considering a reality show where people have to do the job that other people THINK their job is.
@futurebird @mansr I finally have a job now with a title people understand. But there are some doozies on my resume. “UX developer”, “Multimedia Author.”
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Aunt: Do you still make furniture?
Me: What? I don't think I've ever made furniture.
Aunt: But I remember when you were just out of college you were so proud of that job in NYC doing table design. On the computer. I guess you didn't really build them yourself, then.For two decades this sweet woman thought I was making literal wooden tables. I just thought that designing the tables was the most fun and glamorous part of database design.
Probably a good thing she never heard you talk about spread sheets
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Aunt: Do you still make furniture?
Me: What? I don't think I've ever made furniture.
Aunt: But I remember when you were just out of college you were so proud of that job in NYC doing table design. On the computer. I guess you didn't really build them yourself, then.For two decades this sweet woman thought I was making literal wooden tables. I just thought that designing the tables was the most fun and glamorous part of database design.
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Attaching legs to things is not at all trivial. Not all table-shaped objects are sturdy tables I'd trust to climb on and fix the curtains.
@futurebird @gbargoud The Anarchist's Workbench by Christopher Schwarz for woodworking instructions and an autobiography.
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I try to remember to always refer to them as "database tables" in Email for this reason. Also "data fields". Also "columns" and "rows" if someone has used a spreadsheet but not a database.
@richpuchalsky @futurebird At my last job, we had to use "properties" instead of "fields", because we were working on agricultural data...
