you *must* read the Battle of the Dildo at the Minneapolis Graduate Hotel (where ICE is lodging):
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@susankayequinn @cstross I misspoke earlier when I said that “George Soros Bought Me a Handwarmer” was the name of my new band.
After careful consideration, the name of my new band is now "Clearance-Bin Dildos”.
Clearance-Bin Dildos is the first album by George Soros Bought Me A Handwarmer, surely?
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you *must* read the Battle of the Dildo at the Minneapolis Graduate Hotel (where ICE is lodging):
"The revolution did not arrive with speeches, pamphlets, or a carefully moderated Zoom call about optics. It arrived in a cardboard box full of clearance-bin dildos, under purple neon light."
one of the most beautiful things I've ever read
https://www.closertotheedge.net/p/the-dildo-distribution-delegation
@susankayequinn give them their goddamned Pulitzer right now. Right. The. Hell. Now.
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you *must* read the Battle of the Dildo at the Minneapolis Graduate Hotel (where ICE is lodging):
"The revolution did not arrive with speeches, pamphlets, or a carefully moderated Zoom call about optics. It arrived in a cardboard box full of clearance-bin dildos, under purple neon light."
one of the most beautiful things I've ever read
https://www.closertotheedge.net/p/the-dildo-distribution-delegation
Paraphrasing the dependent clauses that caught me:
When your brain says "Stop, this is insane," but your soul says, "No, don't stop, this is sacred"
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you *must* read the Battle of the Dildo at the Minneapolis Graduate Hotel (where ICE is lodging):
"The revolution did not arrive with speeches, pamphlets, or a carefully moderated Zoom call about optics. It arrived in a cardboard box full of clearance-bin dildos, under purple neon light."
one of the most beautiful things I've ever read
https://www.closertotheedge.net/p/the-dildo-distribution-delegation
@susankayequinn
Boss makes a dollar
I make a dime
That's why I read about tactical dicks
On company time -
@susankayequinn
Boss makes a dollar
I make a dime
That's why I read about tactical dicks
On company time -
you *must* read the Battle of the Dildo at the Minneapolis Graduate Hotel (where ICE is lodging):
"The revolution did not arrive with speeches, pamphlets, or a carefully moderated Zoom call about optics. It arrived in a cardboard box full of clearance-bin dildos, under purple neon light."
one of the most beautiful things I've ever read
https://www.closertotheedge.net/p/the-dildo-distribution-delegation
@susankayequinn this is glorious!
"The air vibrated with that very specific end-of-empire energy where your brain says this is insane but your soul says don’t stop, this is sacred."
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you *must* read the Battle of the Dildo at the Minneapolis Graduate Hotel (where ICE is lodging):
"The revolution did not arrive with speeches, pamphlets, or a carefully moderated Zoom call about optics. It arrived in a cardboard box full of clearance-bin dildos, under purple neon light."
one of the most beautiful things I've ever read
https://www.closertotheedge.net/p/the-dildo-distribution-delegation
@susankayequinn the sad part of that is that was the MN National Guard in the yellow vests, which Waltz said was there to protect protesters, and they didn't stop to process what happened, they fired on people. Shame on them, and shame on Waltz.
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you *must* read the Battle of the Dildo at the Minneapolis Graduate Hotel (where ICE is lodging):
"The revolution did not arrive with speeches, pamphlets, or a carefully moderated Zoom call about optics. It arrived in a cardboard box full of clearance-bin dildos, under purple neon light."
one of the most beautiful things I've ever read
https://www.closertotheedge.net/p/the-dildo-distribution-delegation
@susankayequinn that was glorious.
I have an idea involving my expensive lightsaber and a dildo.
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you *must* read the Battle of the Dildo at the Minneapolis Graduate Hotel (where ICE is lodging):
"The revolution did not arrive with speeches, pamphlets, or a carefully moderated Zoom call about optics. It arrived in a cardboard box full of clearance-bin dildos, under purple neon light."
one of the most beautiful things I've ever read
https://www.closertotheedge.net/p/the-dildo-distribution-delegation
@susankayequinn What a marvel of a quote!!!!
> The very first rubber dick to touch government-issued leather boots triggered a full-blown chemical weapons response. That is not metaphor. That is not exaggeration. That is a literal sentence that happened in America in 2026.
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you *must* read the Battle of the Dildo at the Minneapolis Graduate Hotel (where ICE is lodging):
"The revolution did not arrive with speeches, pamphlets, or a carefully moderated Zoom call about optics. It arrived in a cardboard box full of clearance-bin dildos, under purple neon light."
one of the most beautiful things I've ever read
https://www.closertotheedge.net/p/the-dildo-distribution-delegation
@susankayequinn "the dildo(s) of consequences rarely arrives lubed."
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you *must* read the Battle of the Dildo at the Minneapolis Graduate Hotel (where ICE is lodging):
"The revolution did not arrive with speeches, pamphlets, or a carefully moderated Zoom call about optics. It arrived in a cardboard box full of clearance-bin dildos, under purple neon light."
one of the most beautiful things I've ever read
https://www.closertotheedge.net/p/the-dildo-distribution-delegation
@susankayequinn I'll note that it is possible to get suction cup dildos stuck onto windows, as seen last week in Chicago's northwest suburbs (though not as part of a known protest).
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you *must* read the Battle of the Dildo at the Minneapolis Graduate Hotel (where ICE is lodging):
"The revolution did not arrive with speeches, pamphlets, or a carefully moderated Zoom call about optics. It arrived in a cardboard box full of clearance-bin dildos, under purple neon light."
one of the most beautiful things I've ever read
https://www.closertotheedge.net/p/the-dildo-distribution-delegation
...these are the people that give me hope.
Wonderful story.https://www.closertotheedge.net/p/the-dildo-distribution-delegation
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you *must* read the Battle of the Dildo at the Minneapolis Graduate Hotel (where ICE is lodging):
"The revolution did not arrive with speeches, pamphlets, or a carefully moderated Zoom call about optics. It arrived in a cardboard box full of clearance-bin dildos, under purple neon light."
one of the most beautiful things I've ever read
https://www.closertotheedge.net/p/the-dildo-distribution-delegation
"While we didn’t shut down ICE that night, we did show that their power collapses the moment it’s confronted with absurdity.
We proved that you can bring a trillion-dollar security apparatus to its knees with one well-aimed rubber cock.
...
You can’t baton your way out of satire. You can’t gas a punchline. And you absolutely cannot maintain authority while tear-gassing people over a rubber dick."https://www.closertotheedge.net/p/the-dildo-distribution-delegation
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you *must* read the Battle of the Dildo at the Minneapolis Graduate Hotel (where ICE is lodging):
"The revolution did not arrive with speeches, pamphlets, or a carefully moderated Zoom call about optics. It arrived in a cardboard box full of clearance-bin dildos, under purple neon light."
one of the most beautiful things I've ever read
https://www.closertotheedge.net/p/the-dildo-distribution-delegation
This is brilliant. And hilarious. And probably a good model for protests against ICE everywhere. The revolution will be rubberized.
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@susankayequinn the sad part of that is that was the MN National Guard in the yellow vests, which Waltz said was there to protect protesters, and they didn't stop to process what happened, they fired on people. Shame on them, and shame on Waltz.
@emma not national guard
" the officers from the Minneapolis Police Department, Hennepin County Sheriff’s Office and State Patrol office were recruited for assistance."
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@emma not national guard
" the officers from the Minneapolis Police Department, Hennepin County Sheriff’s Office and State Patrol office were recruited for assistance."
@susankayequinn oh. My understanding that the Guard would be wearing vests, but the Devil take Jacob Frye as well.
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@susankayequinn oh. My understanding that the Guard would be wearing vests, but the Devil take Jacob Frye as well.
@emma and almost immediately ICE and others started wearing lookalike gear
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@susankayequinn oh. My understanding that the Guard would be wearing vests, but the Devil take Jacob Frye as well.
@emma you can generally tell by who is wearing MASKS
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"While we didn’t shut down ICE that night, we did show that their power collapses the moment it’s confronted with absurdity.
We proved that you can bring a trillion-dollar security apparatus to its knees with one well-aimed rubber cock.
...
You can’t baton your way out of satire. You can’t gas a punchline. And you absolutely cannot maintain authority while tear-gassing people over a rubber dick."https://www.closertotheedge.net/p/the-dildo-distribution-delegation
@Plumbert @susankayequinn @mappingsupport
Absolutely brilliant! Well done, Minneapolis.
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This is brilliant. And hilarious. And probably a good model for protests against ICE everywhere. The revolution will be rubberized.
It reminds this moose of a "flying dildo" that someone released into an important (political?) meeting. It was radio controlled and stayed just out or reach of anybody trying to swat it. Chaos ensued. 3:O))>
The video is probably still around somewhere. (I can't find it with a quick search.) 3:O(>
