I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.
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When people say "Veronica loves the Fediverse", they remove my agency from this place. I'm a character. They're the narrator. I don't like that.
I think for a lot of folks, Fedi is sweet. It's quiet. It's slow. But for many, many, many of us, it's this slow-rolling insanity machine where you see the WORST THINGS and nobody else does.
And to be frank and clear, I'm just talking about things from my white US perspective. I don't even get the worst of it, and I recognize that.
What I've shared today is just *annoying*. It isn't the level of malevolence that I've seen.
I've had stuff sent my way that I have nightmares about. I won't share that crap. But annoying stuff? I'm not holding that back anymore- you-all are getting called out.
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I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.
It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.
I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.
Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.
@vkc Sending you support
I appreciate the work you do, I'm sorry you have to deal with the misogyny that comes from being a woman on the internet, and thank you for speaking out about it.
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When people say "Veronica loves the Fediverse", they remove my agency from this place. I'm a character. They're the narrator. I don't like that.
I think for a lot of folks, Fedi is sweet. It's quiet. It's slow. But for many, many, many of us, it's this slow-rolling insanity machine where you see the WORST THINGS and nobody else does.
And to be frank and clear, I'm just talking about things from my white US perspective. I don't even get the worst of it, and I recognize that.
@vkc do you think this is unique to the Fediverse or does all social media suck ass over a certain follower threshold? I see people with "large" accounts and from the way they talk it seems clear they experience social media differently than most people
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What I've shared today is just *annoying*. It isn't the level of malevolence that I've seen.
I've had stuff sent my way that I have nightmares about. I won't share that crap. But annoying stuff? I'm not holding that back anymore- you-all are getting called out.
I don't know. I just block the obvious twats, and mute the remaining annoying ones. We all deal with this shit differently!
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What I've shared today is just *annoying*. It isn't the level of malevolence that I've seen.
I've had stuff sent my way that I have nightmares about. I won't share that crap. But annoying stuff? I'm not holding that back anymore- you-all are getting called out.
@vkc I think it's super important to expose all that. keep it up, nobody's going to talk about it otherwise
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@vkc do you think this is unique to the Fediverse or does all social media suck ass over a certain follower threshold? I see people with "large" accounts and from the way they talk it seems clear they experience social media differently than most people
@McNeely I think it's unique to decentralization. If your instance blocked a baddie before they post in my replies, you don't see it and I do. In centralized social media, a mass of reports is enough to ban an account and get their posts mass-deleted. That just can't happen here.
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I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.
It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.
I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.
Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.
@vkc I do not consent to your harassers being gatekeepers of who belongs here. You belong here. You make this place better.
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I don't know. I just block the obvious twats, and mute the remaining annoying ones. We all deal with this shit differently!
@bytebro oh my god you missed the point 10000%
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@McNeely I think it's unique to decentralization. If your instance blocked a baddie before they post in my replies, you don't see it and I do. In centralized social media, a mass of reports is enough to ban an account and get their posts mass-deleted. That just can't happen here.
@vkc ohhh yes I wasnt even thinking about that. I always think of this as "dark matter harassment" since it's not always visible to bystanders. I definitely think that's got to be one of the worst uniquely bad things about here
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@bytebro oh my god you missed the point 10000%
OK, sorry. It's a special talent of mine.
My only possible excuse is that as an ASD person I tend to take things a bit literally.Obvs, no irritation or offense intended.
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@vkc ohhh yes I wasnt even thinking about that. I always think of this as "dark matter harassment" since it's not always visible to bystanders. I definitely think that's got to be one of the worst uniquely bad things about here
@McNeely it's super disorienting once you get to a certain threshold of followers and your notifications don't match anyone else's experience in the slightest.
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@vkc I do not consent to your harassers being gatekeepers of who belongs here. You belong here. You make this place better.
@vkc wow, posting that got me followed by someone from a "skinhead" instance. That's an immediate instance block from me.
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@vkc wow, posting that got me followed by someone from a "skinhead" instance. That's an immediate instance block from me.
@HunterZ make sure to share it with your mods
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I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.
It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.
I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.
Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.
@vkc Really sorry to hear that. My experience here is great, and you make it better. Don't know what to say.
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I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.
It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.
I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.
Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.
@vkc Very sorry you have to put up with all this, and thank you for speaking up about it.
Truly, truly disappointed in the community here, and the lack of tools for people to defend themselves.
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When people say "Veronica loves the Fediverse", they remove my agency from this place. I'm a character. They're the narrator. I don't like that.
I think for a lot of folks, Fedi is sweet. It's quiet. It's slow. But for many, many, many of us, it's this slow-rolling insanity machine where you see the WORST THINGS and nobody else does.
And to be frank and clear, I'm just talking about things from my white US perspective. I don't even get the worst of it, and I recognize that.
@vkc I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. This is reprehensible and is something I would expect on corporate-owned social media and not on fedi.
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I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.
It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.
I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.
Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.
@vkc thank you for all your clarifying and urgent work communicating about these awful circumstances. I really appreciate your candor, especially bc I know it comes at a great personal toll. I normally avoid commenting on your posts bc I don't want to be mistaken for a pompous asshole but I really want to express my bottomless gratitude for you and your work today (acknowledging that good vibes aren't solutions--theyre just what I can give right now). Thank you for everything.
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I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.
It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.
I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.
Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.
@vkc wishing you a better experience than this
️ i think we have to make space for ourselves and our own way to do things to avoid getting swallowed by the defaults -
I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.
It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.
I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.
Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.
@vkc @afewbugs That sucks so badly. It's why I never tried to build any kind of following while I worked in tech - whereas I feel safer speaking as a teacher. It's just too dangerous being a very visible woman in tech.
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I'm sure there are other industries with equally misogynistic people, but tech seems particularly bad. -
What I've shared today is just *annoying*. It isn't the level of malevolence that I've seen.
I've had stuff sent my way that I have nightmares about. I won't share that crap. But annoying stuff? I'm not holding that back anymore- you-all are getting called out.
@vkc i've had a couple of posts blow up to genuinely large levels and have seen what you mean with the vile stuff. Makes me wonder if social media is a good idea at all.
