I hope John Roberts can't watch the NFL playoff games today because he has explosive diarrhea.
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I hope today John Roberts tries to pick up a neighbor's cute, nice-seeming cat for a cuddle and it freaks out and scratches him badly right on the cheek.
@msbellows Just after the cat pooped.
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@msbellows
Blessed are your Curses@nanowiz _/\_
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I hope John Roberts' shoelace breaks, and not at home where he could just change shoes. And that those shoes have fairly short laces anyway, and that it breaks right at the eyelet where the knot will get in the way.
I hope John Roberts orders Chinese for lunch and it comes with those chopsticks that are rectangular in cross-section instead of round and when he separates them it splinters just a little and he gets a tiny splinter in the ball of his index finger and it's one of those splinters that's set so deeply there's only a tiny little nub sticking out that's not enough to grab with tweezers but every time he picks up a pen or taps a keyboard it jiggles it and hurts annoyingly.
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I hope John Roberts orders Chinese for lunch and it comes with those chopsticks that are rectangular in cross-section instead of round and when he separates them it splinters just a little and he gets a tiny splinter in the ball of his index finger and it's one of those splinters that's set so deeply there's only a tiny little nub sticking out that's not enough to grab with tweezers but every time he picks up a pen or taps a keyboard it jiggles it and hurts annoyingly.
@msbellows I hope that the Chinese food gives him atomic, painful, explosive diarrhea.
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@msbellows I hope that the Chinese food gives him atomic, painful, explosive diarrhea.
@david So so I, but that would impugn a proof and delicious ethnic cuisine, and also I already used that wish in the very first curse in this long thread.
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@david So so I, but that would impugn a proof and delicious ethnic cuisine, and also I already used that wish in the very first curse in this long thread.
@msbellows Jiminy! How did I miss all of these??
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@msbellows Jiminy! How did I miss all of these??
@david Easy answer: you're a slacker! (Said by a fellow slacker, so don't worry, I'm not judging you.)
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@david Easy answer: you're a slacker! (Said by a fellow slacker, so don't worry, I'm not judging you.)
@msbellows I'm definitely a slacker. Always was…
School: ”We feel you are an underachiever despite your high IQ.”
Me: “Whatever.”
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@msbellows I'm definitely a slacker. Always was…
School: ”We feel you are an underachiever despite your high IQ.”
Me: “Whatever.”
@david Also, it's probably a "tell" that I'm defining "slacker" as "someone who doesn't spend enough time on Mastodon to catch every single one of my posts in real time."
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You might enjoy a work of satire I wrote in 2024, following Trump's reelection.
https://jasonbeets.blogspot.com/2024/11/evil-sorcerers-need-to-rediscover-art.html
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@david Also, it's probably a "tell" that I'm defining "slacker" as "someone who doesn't spend enough time on Mastodon to catch every single one of my posts in real time."
@msbellows today was an exception as prior, I've been working but finished it all yesterday. Well at least until next week.
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@sarae Tell me more about the smell. (And are there blackberries in D.C.?)
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@sarae Is... is it under the floorboards?
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@sarae Please don't say it also bubbles up from the Jacuzzi jets.
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@sarae Who doesn't, at least indirectly?
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@sarae
You are, in other words, cursing him with the mystery smell in @douglasvb's house, but worse.
Yesss. Good. -
@sarae
You are, in other words, cursing him with the mystery smell in @douglasvb's house, but worse.
Yesss. Good. -
I hope John Roberts orders Chinese for lunch and it comes with those chopsticks that are rectangular in cross-section instead of round and when he separates them it splinters just a little and he gets a tiny splinter in the ball of his index finger and it's one of those splinters that's set so deeply there's only a tiny little nub sticking out that's not enough to grab with tweezers but every time he picks up a pen or taps a keyboard it jiggles it and hurts annoyingly.
I hope John Roberts goes to see "Inherit The Wind" at the Fichandler Stage in D.C. tonight and feels out of touch with the rest of the audience because why would anyone root for the criminal teaching evolution to innocent children, and then on the drive home he praises the righteous lawyer fighting to keep God's Word in the public schools and his wife responds by asking contemptuously how she ever could have married such an asshole and it makes him feel really confused and lonely and sad.
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I hope John Roberts goes to see "Inherit The Wind" at the Fichandler Stage in D.C. tonight and feels out of touch with the rest of the audience because why would anyone root for the criminal teaching evolution to innocent children, and then on the drive home he praises the righteous lawyer fighting to keep God's Word in the public schools and his wife responds by asking contemptuously how she ever could have married such an asshole and it makes him feel really confused and lonely and sad.
@msbellows
maybe in his shadow conscience? -
@msbellows
maybe in his shadow conscience?@goatrodeo I used to think he had one.
I was a sweet summer child back then.
