I hope John Roberts can't watch the NFL playoff games today because he has explosive diarrhea.
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I hope John Roberts gets a flat tire today when he's already running late.
I hope John Roberts gets a letter today from Harvard revoking both his bachelor's and law degrees simply because the university's trustees unanimously think he's a ginormous asshole.
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I hope John Roberts gets a letter today from Harvard revoking both his bachelor's and law degrees simply because the university's trustees unanimously think he's a ginormous asshole.
@msbellows It’d be even better if they revoked his degrees because he’s brought disgrace upon the school by turning his back on his sworn duty to uphold the Constitution.
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I hope John Roberts gets a letter today from Harvard revoking both his bachelor's and law degrees simply because the university's trustees unanimously think he's a ginormous asshole.
@msbellows
That’d be nice. -
I hope John Roberts gets a letter today from Harvard revoking both his bachelor's and law degrees simply because the university's trustees unanimously think he's a ginormous asshole.
I hope John Roberts needs to hop a quick flight to New York today to give a lecture but never got a Real ID so he's stopped by TSA before boarding and okay whatever he pays the $45 fee for TSA to confirm his identity online but they've started using an AI for that and the AI somehow conflates Chief Justice of the Supreme Court with Iran's Supreme Leader of the Council of Experts and he's arrested and held for three days in a DHS facility in, ironically, New York before someone finally figures it out.
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I hope John Roberts needs to hop a quick flight to New York today to give a lecture but never got a Real ID so he's stopped by TSA before boarding and okay whatever he pays the $45 fee for TSA to confirm his identity online but they've started using an AI for that and the AI somehow conflates Chief Justice of the Supreme Court with Iran's Supreme Leader of the Council of Experts and he's arrested and held for three days in a DHS facility in, ironically, New York before someone finally figures it out.
I hope John Roberts is feeling pretty good this morning as he sits at his kitchen table sipping coffee and scanning the day's news, until he sees this story that public confidence in the Supreme Court is at all all-time low and he goes from feeling pretty good to wanting to crawl back in bed. https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/supreme-court/poll-confidence-supreme-court-drops-record-low-rcna262459
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I hope John Roberts is feeling pretty good this morning as he sits at his kitchen table sipping coffee and scanning the day's news, until he sees this story that public confidence in the Supreme Court is at all all-time low and he goes from feeling pretty good to wanting to crawl back in bed. https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/supreme-court/poll-confidence-supreme-court-drops-record-low-rcna262459
Thing is with these fuckers: they're un-shamable ...
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Thing is with these fuckers: they're un-shamable ...
@boelder Yeah, but they still care about their legacies. Not shame but ego.
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I hope John Roberts is feeling pretty good this morning as he sits at his kitchen table sipping coffee and scanning the day's news, until he sees this story that public confidence in the Supreme Court is at all all-time low and he goes from feeling pretty good to wanting to crawl back in bed. https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/supreme-court/poll-confidence-supreme-court-drops-record-low-rcna262459
@msbellows I hope he spends the rest of his life feeling much much worse than going back to bed could possibly solve.
(Now I scroll back up and see you’ve got that MORE than covered here.
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I hope John Roberts is feeling pretty good this morning as he sits at his kitchen table sipping coffee and scanning the day's news, until he sees this story that public confidence in the Supreme Court is at all all-time low and he goes from feeling pretty good to wanting to crawl back in bed. https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/supreme-court/poll-confidence-supreme-court-drops-record-low-rcna262459
@msbellows That assumes Roberts gives a flying fuck what The Unwashed think. He doesn't.
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I hope John Roberts is feeling pretty good this morning as he sits at his kitchen table sipping coffee and scanning the day's news, until he sees this story that public confidence in the Supreme Court is at all all-time low and he goes from feeling pretty good to wanting to crawl back in bed. https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/supreme-court/poll-confidence-supreme-court-drops-record-low-rcna262459
I hope John Roberts has a tickly stray hair but every time he smooths the hair back on his temples that tickly hair doesn't go away and he finally looks in a mirror and realizes he has a single 3-inch long twisty thick dark hair growing right out of the forward edge of his actual ear, and he successfully plucks it but spends the rest of the day having troubling thoughts about aging and mortality.
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I hope John Roberts has a tickly stray hair but every time he smooths the hair back on his temples that tickly hair doesn't go away and he finally looks in a mirror and realizes he has a single 3-inch long twisty thick dark hair growing right out of the forward edge of his actual ear, and he successfully plucks it but spends the rest of the day having troubling thoughts about aging and mortality.
(What, are some of my John Roberts curses inspired by incidents in my personal life? Why ever would you think that?)
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(What, are some of my John Roberts curses inspired by incidents in my personal life? Why ever would you think that?)
@msbellows I was going to suggest that this all seems #oddlyspecific but you beat me to it.
I. Love. This. Thread.
Thank You!
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@msbellows I was going to suggest that this all seems #oddlyspecific but you beat me to it.
I. Love. This. Thread.
Thank You!
@ermo _/\_
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(What, are some of my John Roberts curses inspired by incidents in my personal life? Why ever would you think that?)
I hope today it burns when John Roberts pees.
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I hope today it burns when John Roberts pees.
I hope today it still burns when John Roberts pees, just like yesterday only a little worse, and he's starting to worry that maybe it's not just that he got some soap up there or something.
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I hope today it still burns when John Roberts pees, just like yesterday only a little worse, and he's starting to worry that maybe it's not just that he got some soap up there or something.
I hope that today, yikes, it burns *again* when John Roberts pees, for the third day in a row, and he finally mentions it to his wife, which is a mistake because she later notices that it burns a little when she pees, too, and she privately messages her concierge gynecologist for an appointment and when they go to their Catholic church this morning she gives him a questioning, slightly accusatory look as he enters the confessional.
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I hope John Roberts' shoelace breaks, and not at home where he could just change shoes. And that those shoes have fairly short laces anyway, and that it breaks right at the eyelet where the knot will get in the way.
The shoes are the wrong size since #Trump ordered Florsheims for John Roberts.
https://thehill.com/blogs/in-the-know/5783084-trump-shoes-cabinet-brian-kilmeade/
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I hope that today, yikes, it burns *again* when John Roberts pees, for the third day in a row, and he finally mentions it to his wife, which is a mistake because she later notices that it burns a little when she pees, too, and she privately messages her concierge gynecologist for an appointment and when they go to their Catholic church this morning she gives him a questioning, slightly accusatory look as he enters the confessional.
Can you get an STD from kissing Trump's ass?
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I hope that today, yikes, it burns *again* when John Roberts pees, for the third day in a row, and he finally mentions it to his wife, which is a mistake because she later notices that it burns a little when she pees, too, and she privately messages her concierge gynecologist for an appointment and when they go to their Catholic church this morning she gives him a questioning, slightly accusatory look as he enters the confessional.
You’ve really stepped up your game. Looking forward to the day 4 installment.
Cipro can’t touch it? -
I hope that today, yikes, it burns *again* when John Roberts pees, for the third day in a row, and he finally mentions it to his wife, which is a mistake because she later notices that it burns a little when she pees, too, and she privately messages her concierge gynecologist for an appointment and when they go to their Catholic church this morning she gives him a questioning, slightly accusatory look as he enters the confessional.
I hope that today John Roberts' wife goes to her expensive concierge gynecologist and gets tested for the burning she and the Chief Justice have been experiencing, and she gets good news and bad news: no it's not an STI, so in his case it actually probably is the new soap she bought – but also she has developed an allergy to his semen, meaning they either need to give up intercourse or return to using condoms, which they haven't had to do for years and which anyway are banned by their church. Hmmm, she thinks. Decisions, decisions...
