I hope John Roberts can't watch the NFL playoff games today because he has explosive diarrhea.
-
@mralancooper Honestly, it's been sad and troubling for me to witness the slow dissolution of their marriage. No one wants that, right?
@msbellows She's gonna leave him for a lesbian trans woman.
-
@msbellows She's gonna leave him for a lesbian trans woman.
@mralancooper In her mind I suspect she already has.
-
I hope that last night John Roberts had insomnia and couldn't fall asleep until 6 a.m. and then his alarm went off at 6:30, and he's pretty sure the "decaf" his wife served after dinner accidentally wasn't decaf, and then he remembers that (unusually for her) she had Sleepytime tea instead of coffee, and now he's wondering whether it was really accidental.
I hope that someone keys John Roberts' car today, and not just shallowly so that it'll buff but all the way through the clear coat into the paint.
-
I hope that someone keys John Roberts' car today, and not just shallowly so that it'll buff but all the way through the clear coat into the paint.
I hope nothing bad whatsoever happens to John Roberts today!
Ha ha April fools no seriously I actually hope he slips on a banana peel and breaks his elbow and has to be taken to the emergency department and today's oral argument on birthright citizenship has to be rescheduled for sometime in the next term of court and Trump's illegal order remains stayed until then.
-
I hope nothing bad whatsoever happens to John Roberts today!
Ha ha April fools no seriously I actually hope he slips on a banana peel and breaks his elbow and has to be taken to the emergency department and today's oral argument on birthright citizenship has to be rescheduled for sometime in the next term of court and Trump's illegal order remains stayed until then.
I hope that this morning, as he transitioned through that productive, liminal state halfway between sleeping and waking, John Roberts was struck with the unpromped insight that all his success as a student and lawyer was born of a pathological need to please his overdemanding, vicariously ambitious father, and that he stumbles through the rest of the day with a surprisingly strong, even pathetic feeling of sadness that he actually should have been a professional sailor or large animal vet.
-
I hope that this morning, as he transitioned through that productive, liminal state halfway between sleeping and waking, John Roberts was struck with the unpromped insight that all his success as a student and lawyer was born of a pathological need to please his overdemanding, vicariously ambitious father, and that he stumbles through the rest of the day with a surprisingly strong, even pathetic feeling of sadness that he actually should have been a professional sailor or large animal vet.
@msbellows nicely put! Especially that last part about what he should have been
-
I hope that this morning, as he transitioned through that productive, liminal state halfway between sleeping and waking, John Roberts was struck with the unpromped insight that all his success as a student and lawyer was born of a pathological need to please his overdemanding, vicariously ambitious father, and that he stumbles through the rest of the day with a surprisingly strong, even pathetic feeling of sadness that he actually should have been a professional sailor or large animal vet.
I hope today John Roberts realizes that Clarence Thomas and Samuel Alito probably will retire before the end of T's term so T can attempt to name their replacements the way Obama never got to because RBG was too stubborn, and that that makes him sad because them leaving literally will eliminate half of the friendships he's had in his entire miserable life.
-
@msbellows nicely put! Especially that last part about what he should have been
@patrascan _/\_
-
I hope today John Roberts realizes that Clarence Thomas and Samuel Alito probably will retire before the end of T's term so T can attempt to name their replacements the way Obama never got to because RBG was too stubborn, and that that makes him sad because them leaving literally will eliminate half of the friendships he's had in his entire miserable life.
Today I hope that John Roberts decides to get out the stepladder and clean that one leaf-filled gutter over the garage and he doesn't fall or anything but as he scoops the half-decayed leaves out of the gutter he tosses them onto the driveway below and when he's done with the first section he climbs back down to move the ladder over a few feet and when he has one foot on the bottom rung he puts the other one on the ground covered with leaves and that foot slips out so his legs straddle and he pulls his groin painfully and also the other foot slips awkwardly between the rungs which scrapes his shin all the way up and as he's lying on the ground the ladder topples comedically over on top of him so when he finally extricates himself and hobbles into the house he's bleeding from his shin and also his forehead where the falling ladder hit him and when he gets inside some of his blood drips onto the entryway and then he feels even worse because he knows his wife is going to scold him for being clumsy and making a mess.
-
Today I hope that John Roberts decides to get out the stepladder and clean that one leaf-filled gutter over the garage and he doesn't fall or anything but as he scoops the half-decayed leaves out of the gutter he tosses them onto the driveway below and when he's done with the first section he climbs back down to move the ladder over a few feet and when he has one foot on the bottom rung he puts the other one on the ground covered with leaves and that foot slips out so his legs straddle and he pulls his groin painfully and also the other foot slips awkwardly between the rungs which scrapes his shin all the way up and as he's lying on the ground the ladder topples comedically over on top of him so when he finally extricates himself and hobbles into the house he's bleeding from his shin and also his forehead where the falling ladder hit him and when he gets inside some of his blood drips onto the entryway and then he feels even worse because he knows his wife is going to scold him for being clumsy and making a mess.
@msbellows I second this but why would he try and remove the decaying mess that he granted total immunity to
-
@msbellows I second this but why would he try and remove the decaying mess that he granted total immunity to
@dannotdaniel Maybe living a life that's inexplicably cursed day after day after day will finally force an epiphany leading him to reexamine his life choices and try to undo the harms he has caused?
-
Today I hope that John Roberts decides to get out the stepladder and clean that one leaf-filled gutter over the garage and he doesn't fall or anything but as he scoops the half-decayed leaves out of the gutter he tosses them onto the driveway below and when he's done with the first section he climbs back down to move the ladder over a few feet and when he has one foot on the bottom rung he puts the other one on the ground covered with leaves and that foot slips out so his legs straddle and he pulls his groin painfully and also the other foot slips awkwardly between the rungs which scrapes his shin all the way up and as he's lying on the ground the ladder topples comedically over on top of him so when he finally extricates himself and hobbles into the house he's bleeding from his shin and also his forehead where the falling ladder hit him and when he gets inside some of his blood drips onto the entryway and then he feels even worse because he knows his wife is going to scold him for being clumsy and making a mess.
@msbellows It seems you given a little bit of thought behind this "accident".
-
@msbellows It seems you given a little bit of thought behind this "accident".
@PattyHanson I definitely wasn't inspired by anything that happened to me. Nope. (Because today I paid a neighbor kid to clean the gutter along the front of the garage instead of doing it myself.)
-
@PattyHanson I definitely wasn't inspired by anything that happened to me. Nope. (Because today I paid a neighbor kid to clean the gutter along the front of the garage instead of doing it myself.)
@msbellows That's okay. We can have good ideas without having experienced everything life has to offer.
-
Today I hope that John Roberts decides to get out the stepladder and clean that one leaf-filled gutter over the garage and he doesn't fall or anything but as he scoops the half-decayed leaves out of the gutter he tosses them onto the driveway below and when he's done with the first section he climbs back down to move the ladder over a few feet and when he has one foot on the bottom rung he puts the other one on the ground covered with leaves and that foot slips out so his legs straddle and he pulls his groin painfully and also the other foot slips awkwardly between the rungs which scrapes his shin all the way up and as he's lying on the ground the ladder topples comedically over on top of him so when he finally extricates himself and hobbles into the house he's bleeding from his shin and also his forehead where the falling ladder hit him and when he gets inside some of his blood drips onto the entryway and then he feels even worse because he knows his wife is going to scold him for being clumsy and making a mess.
Today I hope that when John Roberts's wife awakes he's already up and because it's #Easter he says sincerely and joyfully, "Good morning! He is Risen!" and she looks pointedly at his pajamas crotch and replies dolefully, "at least someone is," and then they go to church and the scabbed shin scrape he received yesterday makes it painful every time he needs to kneel on the tilt-down genuflexorium, which let's be honest Catholic services require worshippers to do a lot.
-
Today I hope that when John Roberts's wife awakes he's already up and because it's #Easter he says sincerely and joyfully, "Good morning! He is Risen!" and she looks pointedly at his pajamas crotch and replies dolefully, "at least someone is," and then they go to church and the scabbed shin scrape he received yesterday makes it painful every time he needs to kneel on the tilt-down genuflexorium, which let's be honest Catholic services require worshippers to do a lot.
@msbellows The 'Catholic workout'. At least you get some wine and stale crackers
-
Today I hope that John Roberts decides to get out the stepladder and clean that one leaf-filled gutter over the garage and he doesn't fall or anything but as he scoops the half-decayed leaves out of the gutter he tosses them onto the driveway below and when he's done with the first section he climbs back down to move the ladder over a few feet and when he has one foot on the bottom rung he puts the other one on the ground covered with leaves and that foot slips out so his legs straddle and he pulls his groin painfully and also the other foot slips awkwardly between the rungs which scrapes his shin all the way up and as he's lying on the ground the ladder topples comedically over on top of him so when he finally extricates himself and hobbles into the house he's bleeding from his shin and also his forehead where the falling ladder hit him and when he gets inside some of his blood drips onto the entryway and then he feels even worse because he knows his wife is going to scold him for being clumsy and making a mess.
@msbellows Hopefully it's cream-colored carpet.
-
@msbellows Hopefully it's cream-colored carpet.
@APBBlue It's a stone entry, unfortunately. But it's porous, and they haven't had it sealed lately.
-
Today I hope that when John Roberts's wife awakes he's already up and because it's #Easter he says sincerely and joyfully, "Good morning! He is Risen!" and she looks pointedly at his pajamas crotch and replies dolefully, "at least someone is," and then they go to church and the scabbed shin scrape he received yesterday makes it painful every time he needs to kneel on the tilt-down genuflexorium, which let's be honest Catholic services require worshippers to do a lot.
Today I hope John Roberts is starting to wonder whether he made the right decision spending his spare time last weekend working to clear the way for Steve Bannon's conviction to be reversed on Trump's whim instead of what he really wanted to do, which is just hang out following updates about the Artemis mission because when he was young Apollo really was important to him.
-
S suneauken@mastodon.world shared this topic
