It seems that as a species develops more emphasis on brains, it also produces more assholes.
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@alice "least likely to solve a crossword puzzle" sounds like slugs, sponges, and if im very honest, lionfishes
Edit: tho upon reflection the only one of those that id describe as "jerk who would never solve a crossword" is the lionfish
@Irenetherogue what makes lionfish jerky?
(cue dehydration joke)
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@Smutty_Tiefling god, I've had neighbors like that before 🫤
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It seems that as a species develops more emphasis on brains, it also produces more assholes.
Humans? Legendary assholes.
Dolphins? Assholes.
Cats are notorious for being jerks.Dogs, ducks, geese, seagulls, crows...all have dickish individuals.
What're some species that would be least likely to solve a crossword puzzle, but still produce a significant percentage of assholes?
Like are there any shrimp out there that are just little fuckers?
@alice oh wait, is this not a post about how humans have pretty butts?
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@alice are elephants a counter example? I don't recall ever hearing of an elephant being a jerk.
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@raaahbin @alice This tracks. As a kid growing up on a horse farm, we constantly had plovers nesting in the middle of our riding arena. My trainer made me ride over them and no shit it scarred me for life. They’d run away from the nest as a distraction, with varying results. Pretty sure I trampled a few. I now compulsively put out bird feeders as restitution.
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@pewnack @alice
Your technique seems very thorough and borne of years of practice. I claim no credit as we were just using the tools that had been provided.We were also freaked out by a roach the size of a table fork and left a camping lamp on the floor hoping it would either go away or at least not come near us.
When we checked later, a beautiful leaf bug had come to the lamp. It moved slowly like a tiny sloth. It was wonderful.
Something like this (not my photo, didn't want to scare it)
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@Irenetherogue what makes lionfish jerky?
(cue dehydration joke)
@alice mainly that the thing that makes them invasive in the northern Atlantic ocean is that their local prey is the young of all the local fish, such that there are hardly any of the local fish at all anymore, in particular they prey on the young of the creatures that naturally/normally clean and maintain the local reefs. Plus, theyre aggressive.
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One summer while I was wearing shorts, I had a big hornet fly over, bite into the side of my thigh and then proceed to sting me like half a dozen times for no apparent reason.
I feel like hornets, wasps, and yellow jackets are all pretty much raging assholes.
@alice No-see-um: An asshole with jaws.
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It seems that as a species develops more emphasis on brains, it also produces more assholes.
Humans? Legendary assholes.
Dolphins? Assholes.
Cats are notorious for being jerks.Dogs, ducks, geese, seagulls, crows...all have dickish individuals.
What're some species that would be least likely to solve a crossword puzzle, but still produce a significant percentage of assholes?
Like are there any shrimp out there that are just little fuckers?
@alice It takes a brain to be an asshole.
I mean, no one calls a lion an asshole for killing a zebra. That's just survival. A lion doesn't know how to be an asshole.
I think you're absolutely right, but the same animals have the capacity to be selfless and caring.
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It seems that as a species develops more emphasis on brains, it also produces more assholes.
Humans? Legendary assholes.
Dolphins? Assholes.
Cats are notorious for being jerks.Dogs, ducks, geese, seagulls, crows...all have dickish individuals.
What're some species that would be least likely to solve a crossword puzzle, but still produce a significant percentage of assholes?
Like are there any shrimp out there that are just little fuckers?
@alice My first thought was pigeons. Don’t know why…
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It seems that as a species develops more emphasis on brains, it also produces more assholes.
Humans? Legendary assholes.
Dolphins? Assholes.
Cats are notorious for being jerks.Dogs, ducks, geese, seagulls, crows...all have dickish individuals.
What're some species that would be least likely to solve a crossword puzzle, but still produce a significant percentage of assholes?
Like are there any shrimp out there that are just little fuckers?
-
It seems that as a species develops more emphasis on brains, it also produces more assholes.
Humans? Legendary assholes.
Dolphins? Assholes.
Cats are notorious for being jerks.Dogs, ducks, geese, seagulls, crows...all have dickish individuals.
What're some species that would be least likely to solve a crossword puzzle, but still produce a significant percentage of assholes?
Like are there any shrimp out there that are just little fuckers?
@alice Funny you ask this. We have two Guinea Pigs. They're sisters. Both cute as heck and dumb as rocks. But one is a real jerk. Bullies her sister, nips at fingers, steals food.
The bonus fact is - it used to be the other way around. When they were young the other sister was the jerk. One aged into a sweetheart & the other into a crotchety grump.
So attitude is fluid among #GuineaPigs apparently.
(Photo is Kaysah - the nice one.)
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It seems that as a species develops more emphasis on brains, it also produces more assholes.
Humans? Legendary assholes.
Dolphins? Assholes.
Cats are notorious for being jerks.Dogs, ducks, geese, seagulls, crows...all have dickish individuals.
What're some species that would be least likely to solve a crossword puzzle, but still produce a significant percentage of assholes?
Like are there any shrimp out there that are just little fuckers?
@alice Houseflies. Nearly forty years later I vividly remember a sleepless night at my grandparents' caused by this utter bastard who flew a pattern from one corner of the room to the opposite and back, each time dive bombing my head. All goddamn night, every few seconds.
You'd best _believe_ I hunted this one the next day.
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It seems that as a species develops more emphasis on brains, it also produces more assholes.
Humans? Legendary assholes.
Dolphins? Assholes.
Cats are notorious for being jerks.Dogs, ducks, geese, seagulls, crows...all have dickish individuals.
What're some species that would be least likely to solve a crossword puzzle, but still produce a significant percentage of assholes?
Like are there any shrimp out there that are just little fuckers?
@alice
A correlation between aggression and intelligence? You know, I believe it. -
It seems that as a species develops more emphasis on brains, it also produces more assholes.
Humans? Legendary assholes.
Dolphins? Assholes.
Cats are notorious for being jerks.Dogs, ducks, geese, seagulls, crows...all have dickish individuals.
What're some species that would be least likely to solve a crossword puzzle, but still produce a significant percentage of assholes?
Like are there any shrimp out there that are just little fuckers?
@alice OOH yes shrimp ARE all a bunch of assholes.
I used go go fishing with my dad a lot, and the first step to any fishing trip is to catch some bait.
Shrimp are great to catch in bulk but you better be brave if you want to handle them. They like just sort of chilling in the bucket, and they stay calm as long as nothing moves, but the moment you jostle the bucket or you stick your fingers in the water, it is ON.
They love to fight both other shrimp and any shrimp-shaped objects (ie, your finger) that enter their domain. Sometimes they'll suddenly go from 0 to 80 and just kick up a massive fight in the bucket. They have these stingers on their head that they use to stab each other and you if you're not careful. If you put minnows in the same bucket, the shrimp will kill them out of spite.
If you're unlucky enough to fall into a school of shrimp in the ocean, they'll go for you for sure.
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It seems that as a species develops more emphasis on brains, it also produces more assholes.
Humans? Legendary assholes.
Dolphins? Assholes.
Cats are notorious for being jerks.Dogs, ducks, geese, seagulls, crows...all have dickish individuals.
What're some species that would be least likely to solve a crossword puzzle, but still produce a significant percentage of assholes?
Like are there any shrimp out there that are just little fuckers?
@alice counterpoint: elephants.
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@jqmcd aww, I like spiders (mostly).
@alice @jqmcd I actually feel like spiders are pretty cool. Like, they eat other animals, but that's just surviving as a predator. They don't go out of their way to be cruel, and when they hurt humans, it's usually our fault.
I say this despite having moderate arachnophobia. I appreciate them...just abstractly and from a distance and oh god oh god don't come any closer!!!
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@alice maybe they’re nazi fish. ever thought of that?!? NAZI FISH DESERVE PUNCHING.
