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  3. It seems that as a species develops more emphasis on brains, it also produces more assholes.

It seems that as a species develops more emphasis on brains, it also produces more assholes.

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  • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

    It seems that as a species develops more emphasis on brains, it also produces more assholes.

    Humans? Legendary assholes.
    Dolphins? Assholes.
    Cats are notorious for being jerks.

    Dogs, ducks, geese, seagulls, crows...all have dickish individuals.

    What're some species that would be least likely to solve a crossword puzzle, but still produce a significant percentage of assholes?

    Like are there any shrimp out there that are just little fuckers?

    symtrkl@anarres.familyS This user is from outside of this forum
    symtrkl@anarres.familyS This user is from outside of this forum
    symtrkl@anarres.family
    wrote sidst redigeret af
    #26

    @alice Are octopi known to be assholes or are they the outliers here? Also pigs are absolutely smart and also assholes.

    Having a hard time thinking of assholes on the other end of the spectrum. Bedbugs probably, they're little shitheads but right up there with amoeba on the "stimulus/response and no smarter" scale.

    smutty_tiefling@spookygirl.booS 1 Reply Last reply
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    • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

      It seems that as a species develops more emphasis on brains, it also produces more assholes.

      Humans? Legendary assholes.
      Dolphins? Assholes.
      Cats are notorious for being jerks.

      Dogs, ducks, geese, seagulls, crows...all have dickish individuals.

      What're some species that would be least likely to solve a crossword puzzle, but still produce a significant percentage of assholes?

      Like are there any shrimp out there that are just little fuckers?

      rupert@mastodon.nzR This user is from outside of this forum
      rupert@mastodon.nzR This user is from outside of this forum
      rupert@mastodon.nz
      wrote sidst redigeret af
      #27

      @alice Tarantula hawk wasps paralyse spiders, lay eggs inside them and the larvae eat their way out of the still-living spider.
      Very low intelligence, extreme assholery.

      alice@lgbtqia.spaceA 1 Reply Last reply
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      • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

        It seems that as a species develops more emphasis on brains, it also produces more assholes.

        Humans? Legendary assholes.
        Dolphins? Assholes.
        Cats are notorious for being jerks.

        Dogs, ducks, geese, seagulls, crows...all have dickish individuals.

        What're some species that would be least likely to solve a crossword puzzle, but still produce a significant percentage of assholes?

        Like are there any shrimp out there that are just little fuckers?

        eleanor@chaosfem.twE This user is from outside of this forum
        eleanor@chaosfem.twE This user is from outside of this forum
        eleanor@chaosfem.tw
        wrote sidst redigeret af
        #28

        @alice Scorpions are jerks. Most arachnids, including black widows, would prefer to go hide in the shadows rather than confront anything. But scorpions will put that tail up and come after you.

        1 Reply Last reply
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        • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

          It seems that as a species develops more emphasis on brains, it also produces more assholes.

          Humans? Legendary assholes.
          Dolphins? Assholes.
          Cats are notorious for being jerks.

          Dogs, ducks, geese, seagulls, crows...all have dickish individuals.

          What're some species that would be least likely to solve a crossword puzzle, but still produce a significant percentage of assholes?

          Like are there any shrimp out there that are just little fuckers?

          bielsubob@infosec.exchangeB This user is from outside of this forum
          bielsubob@infosec.exchangeB This user is from outside of this forum
          bielsubob@infosec.exchange
          wrote sidst redigeret af
          #29

          @alice Geese would probably land high on the asshole list.

          alice@lgbtqia.spaceA 1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

            It seems that as a species develops more emphasis on brains, it also produces more assholes.

            Humans? Legendary assholes.
            Dolphins? Assholes.
            Cats are notorious for being jerks.

            Dogs, ducks, geese, seagulls, crows...all have dickish individuals.

            What're some species that would be least likely to solve a crossword puzzle, but still produce a significant percentage of assholes?

            Like are there any shrimp out there that are just little fuckers?

            schrotthaufen@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
            schrotthaufen@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
            schrotthaufen@mastodon.social
            wrote sidst redigeret af
            #30

            @alice I think comrade Capybara is quite based. https://time.com/6173837/capybaras-argentina-climate-change/

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

              It seems that as a species develops more emphasis on brains, it also produces more assholes.

              Humans? Legendary assholes.
              Dolphins? Assholes.
              Cats are notorious for being jerks.

              Dogs, ducks, geese, seagulls, crows...all have dickish individuals.

              What're some species that would be least likely to solve a crossword puzzle, but still produce a significant percentage of assholes?

              Like are there any shrimp out there that are just little fuckers?

              joshsusser@autistics.lifeJ This user is from outside of this forum
              joshsusser@autistics.lifeJ This user is from outside of this forum
              joshsusser@autistics.life
              wrote sidst redigeret af
              #31

              @alice probably some species of cichlid. those fish are surprisingly complicated.

              on the other hand, hermit crabs are so polite that they will line up in order of size to wait for a shell of the right size to become available and then pass an empty shell down the line.

              mrinappropriate@mastodonapp.ukM 1 Reply Last reply
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              • colesstreetpothole@weatherishappening.networkC colesstreetpothole@weatherishappening.network

                @ai6yr I feel like a scrub jay could at least partially solve a crossword puzzle, though—that is, before they lit it on your barbecue grill and flew into the dry brush near your house. @alice

                nickgates@friendsofdesoto.socialN This user is from outside of this forum
                nickgates@friendsofdesoto.socialN This user is from outside of this forum
                nickgates@friendsofdesoto.social
                wrote sidst redigeret af
                #32

                @ColesStreetPothole @ai6yr @alice the scrub jays are one meeting in a smoky room away from starting a protection racket in my neighborhood

                nickgates@friendsofdesoto.socialN 1 Reply Last reply
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                • nickgates@friendsofdesoto.socialN nickgates@friendsofdesoto.social

                  @ColesStreetPothole @ai6yr @alice the scrub jays are one meeting in a smoky room away from starting a protection racket in my neighborhood

                  nickgates@friendsofdesoto.socialN This user is from outside of this forum
                  nickgates@friendsofdesoto.socialN This user is from outside of this forum
                  nickgates@friendsofdesoto.social
                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                  #33

                  @ColesStreetPothole @ai6yr @alice "it would be a shame if any of those acorns germinated someplace... inconvenient"

                  "Just take your pay for the month, Don Scrubjay"

                  colesstreetpothole@weatherishappening.networkC 1 Reply Last reply
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                  • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                    @tompearce49 but are they jerks or do they just have the capacity to punch things?

                    bob_zim@infosec.exchangeB This user is from outside of this forum
                    bob_zim@infosec.exchangeB This user is from outside of this forum
                    bob_zim@infosec.exchange
                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                    #34

                    @alice @tompearce49 Peacock mantis shrimp are pretty widely considered deserving of their initials.

                    1 Reply Last reply
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                    • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                      One summer while I was wearing shorts, I had a big hornet fly over, bite into the side of my thigh and then proceed to sting me like half a dozen times for no apparent reason.

                      I feel like hornets, wasps, and yellow jackets are all pretty much raging assholes.

                      pascaldragon@metalhead.clubP This user is from outside of this forum
                      pascaldragon@metalhead.clubP This user is from outside of this forum
                      pascaldragon@metalhead.club
                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                      #35

                      @alice strange that you had that happen with a hornet 🤔 At least for me I encountered hornets as rather chill and very helpful to keep wasps away 🤔 (they know they're the big kid on the block and don't need to proof it like their smaller cousins 😂)
                      Maybe it's a difference in specific subspecies? My experience is based on the European Hornet 🤔

                      drude@literatur.socialD 1 Reply Last reply
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                      • nickgates@friendsofdesoto.socialN nickgates@friendsofdesoto.social

                        @ColesStreetPothole @ai6yr @alice "it would be a shame if any of those acorns germinated someplace... inconvenient"

                        "Just take your pay for the month, Don Scrubjay"

                        colesstreetpothole@weatherishappening.networkC This user is from outside of this forum
                        colesstreetpothole@weatherishappening.networkC This user is from outside of this forum
                        colesstreetpothole@weatherishappening.network
                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                        #36

                        @NickGates @ai6yr @alice
                        Scrubjay Mafia is my new band name. #IMNBN

                        1 Reply Last reply
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                        • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                          It seems that as a species develops more emphasis on brains, it also produces more assholes.

                          Humans? Legendary assholes.
                          Dolphins? Assholes.
                          Cats are notorious for being jerks.

                          Dogs, ducks, geese, seagulls, crows...all have dickish individuals.

                          What're some species that would be least likely to solve a crossword puzzle, but still produce a significant percentage of assholes?

                          Like are there any shrimp out there that are just little fuckers?

                          kirtai@tech.lgbtK This user is from outside of this forum
                          kirtai@tech.lgbtK This user is from outside of this forum
                          kirtai@tech.lgbt
                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                          #37

                          @alice
                          Mantis shrimps?

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • bob_zim@infosec.exchangeB bob_zim@infosec.exchange

                            @bruce @MRutenberg @mattblaze @alice I think he meant how wasps will go out of their way to kill bees which aren’t harming or competing with them in any way.

                            kirtai@tech.lgbtK This user is from outside of this forum
                            kirtai@tech.lgbtK This user is from outside of this forum
                            kirtai@tech.lgbt
                            wrote sidst redigeret af
                            #38

                            @bob_zim @bruce @MRutenberg @mattblaze @alice
                            Well, bees are basically vegan, communist wasps.

                            1 Reply Last reply
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                            • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                              It seems that as a species develops more emphasis on brains, it also produces more assholes.

                              Humans? Legendary assholes.
                              Dolphins? Assholes.
                              Cats are notorious for being jerks.

                              Dogs, ducks, geese, seagulls, crows...all have dickish individuals.

                              What're some species that would be least likely to solve a crossword puzzle, but still produce a significant percentage of assholes?

                              Like are there any shrimp out there that are just little fuckers?

                              ruemaleficent@kolektiva.socialR This user is from outside of this forum
                              ruemaleficent@kolektiva.socialR This user is from outside of this forum
                              ruemaleficent@kolektiva.social
                              wrote sidst redigeret af
                              #39

                              @alice Budgerigar parakeets are notorious for being little jerks a lot of the time.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • bob_zim@infosec.exchangeB bob_zim@infosec.exchange

                                @bruce @MRutenberg @mattblaze @alice I think he meant how wasps will go out of their way to kill bees which aren’t harming or competing with them in any way.

                                bruce@darkmoon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                                bruce@darkmoon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                                bruce@darkmoon.social
                                wrote sidst redigeret af
                                #40

                                @bob_zim @MRutenberg @mattblaze @alice

                                Ah, right. I missed that. 😅

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • mattblaze@federate.socialM mattblaze@federate.social

                                  @alice Wasps are jerks. Total sociopaths.

                                  plutarch@gotosocial.plutar.chP This user is from outside of this forum
                                  plutarch@gotosocial.plutar.chP This user is from outside of this forum
                                  plutarch@gotosocial.plutar.ch
                                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                                  #41

                                  @mattblaze @alice

                                  Except for Tarantula Hawks, which allegedly have the most painful sting of any wasp, however ironically.  The reason why they occasionally act not-sober is because they occasionally consume was-sugar-then-fermented things.  They will literally hit you on the way by because they didn't see you, and become stunned momentarily, and then snap out of it and just continue on their way while ignoring you.  Remember that that thing could ruin your day if it really wanted to.  If you manage to catch it and trap it against your skin, it might.  Otherwise, they simply do not care.  More people need to be more like Tarantula Hawks.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
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                                  • ianamartin@thecanadian.socialI ianamartin@thecanadian.social

                                    @alice Horses are smart but can be dickheads.

                                    grumble209@kolektiva.socialG This user is from outside of this forum
                                    grumble209@kolektiva.socialG This user is from outside of this forum
                                    grumble209@kolektiva.social
                                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                                    #42

                                    @IanAMartin @alice I'm told that steers can be dicks when they get enough calories.

                                    Feed 'em grass, or let them graze, and they are typically low in calories and chill except when threatened. Feed them grain, and they get a lot more spicy.

                                    My coworker used to raise 2 or 3 steers every year for meat. He said the last few weeks before slaughter when he switched them to all-grain diet was his least favorite time of year.

                                    alice@lgbtqia.spaceA 1 Reply Last reply
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                                    • roknrol@beige.partyR roknrol@beige.party

                                      @alice What about crows and ravens? Are they assholes on purpose or just annoying to humans?

                                      alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                                      alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                                      alice@lgbtqia.space
                                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                                      #43

                                      @roknrol as someone who has a lot of crow acquaintances, some are serious dicks.

                                      There's one my girlfriend and I dubbed "Notch" on account of him missing a couple feathers on either side. He knows we feed all the crows on our walk, but if we're not fast enough for him he'll swoop by and tag my head with the tip of his wing—sometimes two or three times like "where're the goods, kibble fairy?"

                                      roknrol@beige.partyR 1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • rupert@mastodon.nzR rupert@mastodon.nz

                                        @alice Male sea otters, if they can't find any female otters to rape, will rape baby harbour seals to death.
                                        Yes, otters are quite smart, but this is human, or at least dolphin, level of assholery.

                                        alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                                        alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                                        alice@lgbtqia.space
                                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                                        #44

                                        @rupert oh no! I didn't know that, and now otters are less cute 😢

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • ianamartin@thecanadian.socialI ianamartin@thecanadian.social

                                          @alice Horses are smart but can be dickheads.

                                          mrinappropriate@mastodonapp.ukM This user is from outside of this forum
                                          mrinappropriate@mastodonapp.ukM This user is from outside of this forum
                                          mrinappropriate@mastodonapp.uk
                                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                                          #45

                                          @IanAMartin @alice I have always found that horses aren’t intelligent at all. Their owners are the assholes, though.

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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