@jwcph holy shit serious? I accidently quoted Bart Simpson?? Not sure if I am proud of that or heartily ashamed of myself for knowing that.

Either way its a damn good joke.

A guy comes up to the service desk I'm working at Kmart to return a vacuum. He goes for awhile giving me history as to the depths of his hatred of said vacuum.

I stared at him: Are you trying to tell me, that defying all the laws of Physics, this vacuum simultaneously both Sucks and Blows??!

His face tensed. Will you take it back?
Yeah, sure, no problem.

Ok good now I can laugh cuz that was really funny.

Would love to be able to tell the writer I used their joke successfully.

OMG OMG Did y'all here this one?! Freakin HEYLARIOUS #ICE #PROTEST in my home hood; Hundreds go to #HomeDepot buy 17 cent Ice Scrapers.

Then get back in line, and return them.

They had to close the store.
You're Welcome