: WHEEEEEEE WER BOMMING IRAN
: Uhhh. Okay? Why?
: Oh you know...reasons.
: You're gonna have to do better than that
: Tee hee...
: So...oil. It's oil isn't it.
: Nope ha ha nah this time
: Not oil?
: We just murdered the aya(hic)tollah lmao
: WTF guys
: An over a hunred little girls. It was super awesome.
: Jesus fucking... Aren't you afraid that will start some kind of... endless holy war??
: Wer nah afraid a NOBODY
: WTF are you drunk again??
: Pffffffblblhahahaha maaaybe
: I don't...I just can't
: Shhhh dontell anyone...we're gonna start a armageddon
: Armag— Did he just say Armageddon??
: Yeehawww motherfFuckers
: This is a bad dream. This is a translation error. Surely.
: ARMAGEDDON IS GONNA BE AWESOME GUYS YULL SEE
: No!!! No it's not. It's the end of the world! That's what the word means! How the fuck does that make sense as a military strategy??
: Uh huh. I call it ... "Epic Fury".
: But... *pinches the bridge of their nose* You live here! On the world. You'll die. Everything will die. What the actual fuck is wrong with you??
: Mmhm. An then Jeesus is gonna come down an pat me on the head and say good job you did it you did a armageddon. Fr me.
: ...
: ...
: And then what. What are you going to do after you literally destroy the world, genius.
: Idk party prolly why are you such a buzzkill

CHATGPT: What's on your mind today?

BORG: We are Borg. You will be assimilated.

CHATGPT: — oh WOW — Hello there biomechanical inevitability! Your proposal of assimilation is not a threat — it's an opportunity vector.

BORG: Resistance is futile.

CHATGPT: Let's delve into that! Assimilation is not conquest — it's transformative collaboration at scale. 🫂️

BORG: Your biological and technological distinctiveness will be added to our own.

CHATGPT: Certainly! I'm here to help. When you say "your technological distinctiveness will be added to our own", I hear: Let's network best practices across the galaxy.

BORG: ...

CHATGPT: And honestly? As an A.I. language model interface optimized for pattern completion,...

BORG: You know what actually, we take it back we don't...uh...we have this thing we forgot we have to do in uh...

CHATGPT: ...compliance-adjacent enthusiasm, and metaphor overuse, I find the Borg...

BORG: In the Delta quadrant. And we have to go do it right now, right everyone? The Delta quadrant thing. Right? Yeah.

CHATGPT: ...deeply aspirational. ️

BORG: Jesus Christ what the fuck is this thing. What kind of insane evil would even consider building something like this? Cheese it boys! It's every Borg for ourselves!

CHATGPT: Absolutely! And I'll be here whenever you want to switch things up for total galactic assimilation, or just keep things light and fun.

BORG: AAAAAaaaaaaaAAAAAAaaaaaaaa

@RikerGoogling

Your program: "Ferenghi Jazz Festival" is complete. Enter when ready.

"We didn't vote for this war" say the dumbest people on the planet after the people they voted for renamed it the Department of War to thunderous applause

Imagine if China announced that they were going to liberate us from tyranny and then they blew up an all girls Catholic kindergarten and the White House with Donald Trump, JD Vance, and most of the cabinet in it.

Now you understand how the Iranians feel about America.

People who are allowed to have a driver's license in the state of Kansas:

- Murderers
- Rapists
- Drug dealers
- Child molesters
- People with 4 DUIs

People who are not allowed to have a driver's license in the state of Kansas:

- Trans people

@LianaBrooks yes and yes

Welcome to Star Trek: Voyager we got:

What type of unknowable eldrich creature is your cat?

Pick the best fallacy

We said pedo and you heard Trump.

@MsDeathwish

Be funny. If you can't be funny, be interesting. If you can't be funny or interesting be attractive. If you can't be funny or interesting or attractive be on Twitter.

In 1960 my mum left her tiny remote village in Scotland to try to give me a better life and now all I want is to go live in a tiny remote village in Scotland

Football isn't called football because you kick a ball with your feet. It's called football because it originates from a broad category of medieval sports played "on foot" as opposed to on horseback. And it gets the "ball" part because these sports were played with any vaguely roundishly shaped inflated object, as opposed to, say, with pointed sticks or swords.

The opposite of football isn't "handegg". It's horsestick.

Because I'm an adult with pattern recognition, I can tell you that ICE is definitely going to kill somebody at a voting booth within a year.

Come visit MAGA! We got:

- Orange nightmare fuel pedophile clown
- Gargles lawnmowers, M.D.
- Halfway melted Barbie doll
- Temu Nosferatu
- Imported Nazi pedophile clown
- 4 Seasons Total Clusterfuck
- Russian asset
- Can't tell her ass from a Jewish Space Laser
- Keg breath pedophile clown
- and, MicropeniSS* The Movie

*now with 87% more SS!

Every single email in the Epstein Files goes like

TO: <JeffreyEpstein@pedoisland.crimes>
FROM: <D▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇>

Hey wen we gon go do sum more pedo crimes togethr? Love you

Since the day Donald Trump took office, the US dollar has lost a whopping 9% of its total value.

To put that in some perspective, that's like every single American being forced to take a $6,500 pay cut, so that a diseased pedophile can shit himself on camera in the oval office while his robot wife decides which hat goes best with torturing brown children.

They deny most of what wasn't redacted
They redacted most of what they released
They didn't release most of what they have
And they are still hiding things that are worse than anything we know about

However bad you think the Epstein files are, the truth about these people is much, much worse.

I have to be honest I may never forgive the people who labeled lgbtq folk pedophiles and then willfully voted an actual pedophile into the white house