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  3. Lately I have been trying to tell manplainers and sea lions what they're doing before blocking them, to give them a shot at apologizing.

Lately I have been trying to tell manplainers and sea lions what they're doing before blocking them, to give them a shot at apologizing.

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  • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

    An educational add-on, because a lot of people are asking about it (which is hilariously meta, I suppose, but here we are)

    Sealioning (the Wikipedia article is quite good): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sealioning

    Mansplaining: https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20180727-mansplaining-explained-in-one-chart

    groovemd@tech.lgbtG This user is from outside of this forum
    groovemd@tech.lgbtG This user is from outside of this forum
    groovemd@tech.lgbt
    wrote sidst redigeret af
    #109

    @sundogplanets My pre-teen daughter recently gave me the word 'ragebaiting' to help me understand a weird relationship in my life. Sealioning hits better, but takes more explanation.

    1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

      Lately I have been trying to tell manplainers and sea lions what they're doing before blocking them, to give them a shot at apologizing. But it almost always results in angry dudes saying obnoxious things, not apologizing, and that doesn't make anyone feel better.

      This is just a reminder to myself to block more people.

      lydiaschoch@mastodon.socialL This user is from outside of this forum
      lydiaschoch@mastodon.socialL This user is from outside of this forum
      lydiaschoch@mastodon.social
      wrote sidst redigeret af
      #110

      @sundogplanets I used to give them a shot as well and try to either explain myself or ask for clarification depending on what they said. It never ended well, so now I block and never reply instead.

      The block button makes the Internet a much more peaceful place to exist.

      1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

        Lately I have been trying to tell manplainers and sea lions what they're doing before blocking them, to give them a shot at apologizing. But it almost always results in angry dudes saying obnoxious things, not apologizing, and that doesn't make anyone feel better.

        This is just a reminder to myself to block more people.

        F This user is from outside of this forum
        F This user is from outside of this forum
        froztbyte@mastodon.social
        wrote sidst redigeret af
        #111

        @sundogplanets Side note: it’s a wondrous joy to block such dipshits on the fedi (because often they’ll try to escalate without any realisation of what happened, straight up shouting into the void… and also often rapidly going mask off (if they had one on)) - a thing one can see by checking out home instance but otherwise be blissfully unaware of

        Our mods on awful.systems employ the “ban fast, ban judiciously” strategy and it’s been _wonderful_

        1 Reply Last reply
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        • stepheneb@ruby.socialS stepheneb@ruby.social

          @wendinoakland @fathermcgruder @knud @sundogplanets

          You can add a Note that is associated with a user.

          I would love it if Block was something I could initiate while viewing a post and optionally the “adding a Note ui” appeared with the post link already copied into the content.

          wendinoakland@beige.partyW This user is from outside of this forum
          wendinoakland@beige.partyW This user is from outside of this forum
          wendinoakland@beige.party
          wrote sidst redigeret af
          #112

          @stepheneb @fathermcgruder @knud @sundogplanets Possibly relevant…?
          @evan @stefan

          stepheneb@ruby.socialS 1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

            Lately I have been trying to tell manplainers and sea lions what they're doing before blocking them, to give them a shot at apologizing. But it almost always results in angry dudes saying obnoxious things, not apologizing, and that doesn't make anyone feel better.

            This is just a reminder to myself to block more people.

            ghostonthehalfshell@masto.aiG This user is from outside of this forum
            ghostonthehalfshell@masto.aiG This user is from outside of this forum
            ghostonthehalfshell@masto.ai
            wrote sidst redigeret af
            #113

            @sundogplanets

            “manplainers”

            Although technically a misspelling, it works really well I think!

            azuaron@cyberpunk.lolA 1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

              Lately I have been trying to tell manplainers and sea lions what they're doing before blocking them, to give them a shot at apologizing. But it almost always results in angry dudes saying obnoxious things, not apologizing, and that doesn't make anyone feel better.

              This is just a reminder to myself to block more people.

              saederup@helvede.netS This user is from outside of this forum
              saederup@helvede.netS This user is from outside of this forum
              saederup@helvede.net
              wrote sidst redigeret af
              #114

              One would think that in the year 2026 both terms would be fairly common knowledge among people who have used the internet and social media for decades.

              And yet here we are with the usual abundance of replies from people not knowing or feigning ignorance.

              Well, at least it makes the pre-emptive blocking easy.

              @sundogplanets

              1 Reply Last reply
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              • cstross@wandering.shopC cstross@wandering.shop

                @jguillaumes @sundogplanets The key point is that sealioning is never done in good faith. It's a time-wasting gambit, not genuine dialog.

                weebull@qoto.orgW This user is from outside of this forum
                weebull@qoto.orgW This user is from outside of this forum
                weebull@qoto.org
                wrote sidst redigeret af
                #115

                @cstross @jguillaumes @sundogplanets If the key differential is intent, how are you judging intent? Sure, sometimes it might be obvious, but not always.

                1 Reply Last reply
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                • fishidwardrobe@mastodon.me.ukF fishidwardrobe@mastodon.me.uk

                  @sundogplanets personally i find that even the nicest people find it hard to admit they were in the wrong and apologise; we all have so much emotional capital invested in being right these days.

                  so, yes: block early, block often.

                  weebull@qoto.orgW This user is from outside of this forum
                  weebull@qoto.orgW This user is from outside of this forum
                  weebull@qoto.org
                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                  #116

                  @fishidwardrobe @sundogplanets So by that logic you're going to block "even the nicest people" early and often.

                  Personally, somebody has to be actively harassing me to get blocked.

                  1 Reply Last reply
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                  • mattblaze@federate.socialM mattblaze@federate.social

                    @sundogplanets Big fan (and practitioner) of blocking! But it's still valuable - to everyone else - to see prominent people articulate why bad behavior is unacceptable. It helps reinforce norms. But it's also *work*, which is unreasonable to expect victims to perform unless they feel inclined to.

                    Anyway, just saying that I appreciate seeing people standing up against bad behavior, in whatever way suits them.

                    noplasticshower@infosec.exchangeN This user is from outside of this forum
                    noplasticshower@infosec.exchangeN This user is from outside of this forum
                    noplasticshower@infosec.exchange
                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                    #117

                    @mattblaze @sundogplanets I appreciate that because it lets me learn who to block without ever having to interact with them.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

                      An educational add-on, because a lot of people are asking about it (which is hilariously meta, I suppose, but here we are)

                      Sealioning (the Wikipedia article is quite good): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sealioning

                      Mansplaining: https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20180727-mansplaining-explained-in-one-chart

                      uair@autistics.lifeU This user is from outside of this forum
                      uair@autistics.lifeU This user is from outside of this forum
                      uair@autistics.life
                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                      #118

                      @sundogplanets

                      Funny. I'd never heard of sea lions until recently but realized I'd developed my own defense against one species a long time ago. I tell them to "do their own homework".

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • wendinoakland@beige.partyW wendinoakland@beige.party

                        @stepheneb @fathermcgruder @knud @sundogplanets Possibly relevant…?
                        @evan @stefan

                        stepheneb@ruby.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                        stepheneb@ruby.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                        stepheneb@ruby.social
                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                        #119

                        @wendinoakland @fathermcgruder @knud @sundogplanets @evan @stefan

                        I realize that just having “Add Note for <user>” available when viewing a post that appended the link to the post into an editable field for my Note associated with my User would be super useful.

                        In regard to blocking if I had previously thought about blocking but just saved a link to an earlier post I could review my actions.

                        stepheneb@ruby.socialS 1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • stepheneb@ruby.socialS stepheneb@ruby.social

                          @wendinoakland @fathermcgruder @knud @sundogplanets @evan @stefan

                          I realize that just having “Add Note for <user>” available when viewing a post that appended the link to the post into an editable field for my Note associated with my User would be super useful.

                          In regard to blocking if I had previously thought about blocking but just saved a link to an earlier post I could review my actions.

                          stepheneb@ruby.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                          stepheneb@ruby.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                          stepheneb@ruby.social
                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                          #120

                          @wendinoakland @fathermcgruder @knud @sundogplanets @evan @stefan

                          When viewing a Note with links to Posts it would be useful to be able to tap and view the post if still available.

                          If I wanted to I could also first select some text from the post and add that to Note also.

                          This world also give me useful info if I wanted to review folks I had blocked to see if I want to unblock them.

                          1 Reply Last reply
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                          • ghostonthehalfshell@masto.aiG ghostonthehalfshell@masto.ai

                            @sundogplanets

                            “manplainers”

                            Although technically a misspelling, it works really well I think!

                            azuaron@cyberpunk.lolA This user is from outside of this forum
                            azuaron@cyberpunk.lolA This user is from outside of this forum
                            azuaron@cyberpunk.lol
                            wrote sidst redigeret af
                            #121

                            @GhostOnTheHalfShell @sundogplanets I might start calling my razor a "manplaner".

                            1 Reply Last reply
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                            • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

                              Lately I have been trying to tell manplainers and sea lions what they're doing before blocking them, to give them a shot at apologizing. But it almost always results in angry dudes saying obnoxious things, not apologizing, and that doesn't make anyone feel better.

                              This is just a reminder to myself to block more people.

                              floppyplopper@todon.nlF This user is from outside of this forum
                              floppyplopper@todon.nlF This user is from outside of this forum
                              floppyplopper@todon.nl
                              wrote sidst redigeret af
                              #122

                              @sundogplanets
                              100%. any time there is a big influx from outside i might try to bring people up to speed. but when people aren't getting it it's time to get rid.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

                                Lately I have been trying to tell manplainers and sea lions what they're doing before blocking them, to give them a shot at apologizing. But it almost always results in angry dudes saying obnoxious things, not apologizing, and that doesn't make anyone feel better.

                                This is just a reminder to myself to block more people.

                                sophiafree@mastodonapp.ukS This user is from outside of this forum
                                sophiafree@mastodonapp.ukS This user is from outside of this forum
                                sophiafree@mastodonapp.uk
                                wrote sidst redigeret af
                                #123

                                @sundogplanets I don' t assume, that they don't know, what they are doing, that they are not doing it on purpose, or that it's a misunderstanding. There is no reason to engage. I agree with you.

                                1 Reply Last reply
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                                • judgyweevil@mastodon.unoJ judgyweevil@mastodon.uno

                                  @sundogplanets A link to the comic in high res https://wondermark.com/c/1062/

                                  pikesley@mastodon.me.ukP This user is from outside of this forum
                                  pikesley@mastodon.me.ukP This user is from outside of this forum
                                  pikesley@mastodon.me.uk
                                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                                  #124

                                  @judgyweevil @sundogplanets

                                  Wondermark also the home of this outstanding work

                                  https://wondermark.com/c/939/

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • bettina@mastodon.nuB bettina@mastodon.nu shared this topic
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