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  3. Lately I have been trying to tell manplainers and sea lions what they're doing before blocking them, to give them a shot at apologizing.

Lately I have been trying to tell manplainers and sea lions what they're doing before blocking them, to give them a shot at apologizing.

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  • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

    Lately I have been trying to tell manplainers and sea lions what they're doing before blocking them, to give them a shot at apologizing. But it almost always results in angry dudes saying obnoxious things, not apologizing, and that doesn't make anyone feel better.

    This is just a reminder to myself to block more people.

    nrmacdonald@mastodon.socialN This user is from outside of this forum
    nrmacdonald@mastodon.socialN This user is from outside of this forum
    nrmacdonald@mastodon.social
    wrote sidst redigeret af
    #105

    @sundogplanets
    Well just let me tell youse about what that really is and is not about little misplaced missy scullery maid what's stepped out of line just wait until the master hears about this youse'll be out on your ear and beggin' for scraps from the fish monger in no time flat.

    1 Reply Last reply
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    • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

      Lately I have been trying to tell manplainers and sea lions what they're doing before blocking them, to give them a shot at apologizing. But it almost always results in angry dudes saying obnoxious things, not apologizing, and that doesn't make anyone feel better.

      This is just a reminder to myself to block more people.

      masek@infosec.exchangeM This user is from outside of this forum
      masek@infosec.exchangeM This user is from outside of this forum
      masek@infosec.exchange
      wrote sidst redigeret af
      #106

      @sundogplanets When a thread seems to go downhill, I give the link to friends. In most cases they have no problems highlighting my mistakes.

      1 Reply Last reply
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      • T tanavit@toot.aquilenet.fr

        @sundogplanets

        Thanks for this explaination.

        As french, I was ignorant of this meaning.

        raymaccarthy@mastodon.ieR This user is from outside of this forum
        raymaccarthy@mastodon.ieR This user is from outside of this forum
        raymaccarthy@mastodon.ie
        wrote sidst redigeret af
        #107

        @tanavit @sundogplanets
        I was ignorant of the term, but not the action. So it's bullying, but with a veneer of politeness?

        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • wendinoakland@beige.partyW wendinoakland@beige.party

          @fathermcgruder @knud @sundogplanets Yeet button as yet undeveloped

          stepheneb@ruby.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
          stepheneb@ruby.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
          stepheneb@ruby.social
          wrote sidst redigeret af
          #108

          @wendinoakland @fathermcgruder @knud @sundogplanets

          You can add a Note that is associated with a user.

          I would love it if Block was something I could initiate while viewing a post and optionally the “adding a Note ui” appeared with the post link already copied into the content.

          wendinoakland@beige.partyW 1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

            An educational add-on, because a lot of people are asking about it (which is hilariously meta, I suppose, but here we are)

            Sealioning (the Wikipedia article is quite good): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sealioning

            Mansplaining: https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20180727-mansplaining-explained-in-one-chart

            groovemd@tech.lgbtG This user is from outside of this forum
            groovemd@tech.lgbtG This user is from outside of this forum
            groovemd@tech.lgbt
            wrote sidst redigeret af
            #109

            @sundogplanets My pre-teen daughter recently gave me the word 'ragebaiting' to help me understand a weird relationship in my life. Sealioning hits better, but takes more explanation.

            1 Reply Last reply
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            • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

              Lately I have been trying to tell manplainers and sea lions what they're doing before blocking them, to give them a shot at apologizing. But it almost always results in angry dudes saying obnoxious things, not apologizing, and that doesn't make anyone feel better.

              This is just a reminder to myself to block more people.

              lydiaschoch@mastodon.socialL This user is from outside of this forum
              lydiaschoch@mastodon.socialL This user is from outside of this forum
              lydiaschoch@mastodon.social
              wrote sidst redigeret af
              #110

              @sundogplanets I used to give them a shot as well and try to either explain myself or ask for clarification depending on what they said. It never ended well, so now I block and never reply instead.

              The block button makes the Internet a much more peaceful place to exist.

              1 Reply Last reply
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              • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

                Lately I have been trying to tell manplainers and sea lions what they're doing before blocking them, to give them a shot at apologizing. But it almost always results in angry dudes saying obnoxious things, not apologizing, and that doesn't make anyone feel better.

                This is just a reminder to myself to block more people.

                F This user is from outside of this forum
                F This user is from outside of this forum
                froztbyte@mastodon.social
                wrote sidst redigeret af
                #111

                @sundogplanets Side note: it’s a wondrous joy to block such dipshits on the fedi (because often they’ll try to escalate without any realisation of what happened, straight up shouting into the void… and also often rapidly going mask off (if they had one on)) - a thing one can see by checking out home instance but otherwise be blissfully unaware of

                Our mods on awful.systems employ the “ban fast, ban judiciously” strategy and it’s been _wonderful_

                1 Reply Last reply
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                • stepheneb@ruby.socialS stepheneb@ruby.social

                  @wendinoakland @fathermcgruder @knud @sundogplanets

                  You can add a Note that is associated with a user.

                  I would love it if Block was something I could initiate while viewing a post and optionally the “adding a Note ui” appeared with the post link already copied into the content.

                  wendinoakland@beige.partyW This user is from outside of this forum
                  wendinoakland@beige.partyW This user is from outside of this forum
                  wendinoakland@beige.party
                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                  #112

                  @stepheneb @fathermcgruder @knud @sundogplanets Possibly relevant…?
                  @evan @stefan

                  stepheneb@ruby.socialS 1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

                    Lately I have been trying to tell manplainers and sea lions what they're doing before blocking them, to give them a shot at apologizing. But it almost always results in angry dudes saying obnoxious things, not apologizing, and that doesn't make anyone feel better.

                    This is just a reminder to myself to block more people.

                    ghostonthehalfshell@masto.aiG This user is from outside of this forum
                    ghostonthehalfshell@masto.aiG This user is from outside of this forum
                    ghostonthehalfshell@masto.ai
                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                    #113

                    @sundogplanets

                    “manplainers”

                    Although technically a misspelling, it works really well I think!

                    azuaron@cyberpunk.lolA 1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

                      Lately I have been trying to tell manplainers and sea lions what they're doing before blocking them, to give them a shot at apologizing. But it almost always results in angry dudes saying obnoxious things, not apologizing, and that doesn't make anyone feel better.

                      This is just a reminder to myself to block more people.

                      saederup@helvede.netS This user is from outside of this forum
                      saederup@helvede.netS This user is from outside of this forum
                      saederup@helvede.net
                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                      #114

                      One would think that in the year 2026 both terms would be fairly common knowledge among people who have used the internet and social media for decades.

                      And yet here we are with the usual abundance of replies from people not knowing or feigning ignorance.

                      Well, at least it makes the pre-emptive blocking easy.

                      @sundogplanets

                      1 Reply Last reply
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                      • cstross@wandering.shopC cstross@wandering.shop

                        @jguillaumes @sundogplanets The key point is that sealioning is never done in good faith. It's a time-wasting gambit, not genuine dialog.

                        weebull@qoto.orgW This user is from outside of this forum
                        weebull@qoto.orgW This user is from outside of this forum
                        weebull@qoto.org
                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                        #115

                        @cstross @jguillaumes @sundogplanets If the key differential is intent, how are you judging intent? Sure, sometimes it might be obvious, but not always.

                        1 Reply Last reply
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                        • fishidwardrobe@mastodon.me.ukF fishidwardrobe@mastodon.me.uk

                          @sundogplanets personally i find that even the nicest people find it hard to admit they were in the wrong and apologise; we all have so much emotional capital invested in being right these days.

                          so, yes: block early, block often.

                          weebull@qoto.orgW This user is from outside of this forum
                          weebull@qoto.orgW This user is from outside of this forum
                          weebull@qoto.org
                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                          #116

                          @fishidwardrobe @sundogplanets So by that logic you're going to block "even the nicest people" early and often.

                          Personally, somebody has to be actively harassing me to get blocked.

                          1 Reply Last reply
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                          • mattblaze@federate.socialM mattblaze@federate.social

                            @sundogplanets Big fan (and practitioner) of blocking! But it's still valuable - to everyone else - to see prominent people articulate why bad behavior is unacceptable. It helps reinforce norms. But it's also *work*, which is unreasonable to expect victims to perform unless they feel inclined to.

                            Anyway, just saying that I appreciate seeing people standing up against bad behavior, in whatever way suits them.

                            noplasticshower@infosec.exchangeN This user is from outside of this forum
                            noplasticshower@infosec.exchangeN This user is from outside of this forum
                            noplasticshower@infosec.exchange
                            wrote sidst redigeret af
                            #117

                            @mattblaze @sundogplanets I appreciate that because it lets me learn who to block without ever having to interact with them.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

                              An educational add-on, because a lot of people are asking about it (which is hilariously meta, I suppose, but here we are)

                              Sealioning (the Wikipedia article is quite good): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sealioning

                              Mansplaining: https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20180727-mansplaining-explained-in-one-chart

                              uair@autistics.lifeU This user is from outside of this forum
                              uair@autistics.lifeU This user is from outside of this forum
                              uair@autistics.life
                              wrote sidst redigeret af
                              #118

                              @sundogplanets

                              Funny. I'd never heard of sea lions until recently but realized I'd developed my own defense against one species a long time ago. I tell them to "do their own homework".

                              1 Reply Last reply
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                              • wendinoakland@beige.partyW wendinoakland@beige.party

                                @stepheneb @fathermcgruder @knud @sundogplanets Possibly relevant…?
                                @evan @stefan

                                stepheneb@ruby.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                stepheneb@ruby.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                stepheneb@ruby.social
                                wrote sidst redigeret af
                                #119

                                @wendinoakland @fathermcgruder @knud @sundogplanets @evan @stefan

                                I realize that just having “Add Note for <user>” available when viewing a post that appended the link to the post into an editable field for my Note associated with my User would be super useful.

                                In regard to blocking if I had previously thought about blocking but just saved a link to an earlier post I could review my actions.

                                stepheneb@ruby.socialS 1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • stepheneb@ruby.socialS stepheneb@ruby.social

                                  @wendinoakland @fathermcgruder @knud @sundogplanets @evan @stefan

                                  I realize that just having “Add Note for <user>” available when viewing a post that appended the link to the post into an editable field for my Note associated with my User would be super useful.

                                  In regard to blocking if I had previously thought about blocking but just saved a link to an earlier post I could review my actions.

                                  stepheneb@ruby.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                  stepheneb@ruby.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                  stepheneb@ruby.social
                                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                                  #120

                                  @wendinoakland @fathermcgruder @knud @sundogplanets @evan @stefan

                                  When viewing a Note with links to Posts it would be useful to be able to tap and view the post if still available.

                                  If I wanted to I could also first select some text from the post and add that to Note also.

                                  This world also give me useful info if I wanted to review folks I had blocked to see if I want to unblock them.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
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                                  • ghostonthehalfshell@masto.aiG ghostonthehalfshell@masto.ai

                                    @sundogplanets

                                    “manplainers”

                                    Although technically a misspelling, it works really well I think!

                                    azuaron@cyberpunk.lolA This user is from outside of this forum
                                    azuaron@cyberpunk.lolA This user is from outside of this forum
                                    azuaron@cyberpunk.lol
                                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                                    #121

                                    @GhostOnTheHalfShell @sundogplanets I might start calling my razor a "manplaner".

                                    1 Reply Last reply
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                                    • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

                                      Lately I have been trying to tell manplainers and sea lions what they're doing before blocking them, to give them a shot at apologizing. But it almost always results in angry dudes saying obnoxious things, not apologizing, and that doesn't make anyone feel better.

                                      This is just a reminder to myself to block more people.

                                      floppyplopper@todon.nlF This user is from outside of this forum
                                      floppyplopper@todon.nlF This user is from outside of this forum
                                      floppyplopper@todon.nl
                                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                                      #122

                                      @sundogplanets
                                      100%. any time there is a big influx from outside i might try to bring people up to speed. but when people aren't getting it it's time to get rid.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
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                                      • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

                                        Lately I have been trying to tell manplainers and sea lions what they're doing before blocking them, to give them a shot at apologizing. But it almost always results in angry dudes saying obnoxious things, not apologizing, and that doesn't make anyone feel better.

                                        This is just a reminder to myself to block more people.

                                        sophiafree@mastodonapp.ukS This user is from outside of this forum
                                        sophiafree@mastodonapp.ukS This user is from outside of this forum
                                        sophiafree@mastodonapp.uk
                                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                                        #123

                                        @sundogplanets I don' t assume, that they don't know, what they are doing, that they are not doing it on purpose, or that it's a misunderstanding. There is no reason to engage. I agree with you.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
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                                        • judgyweevil@mastodon.unoJ judgyweevil@mastodon.uno

                                          @sundogplanets A link to the comic in high res https://wondermark.com/c/1062/

                                          pikesley@mastodon.me.ukP This user is from outside of this forum
                                          pikesley@mastodon.me.ukP This user is from outside of this forum
                                          pikesley@mastodon.me.uk
                                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                                          #124

                                          @judgyweevil @sundogplanets

                                          Wondermark also the home of this outstanding work

                                          https://wondermark.com/c/939/

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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                                          • bettina@mastodon.nuB bettina@mastodon.nu shared this topic
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