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  3. Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

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  • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

    Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

    Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

    mei@donotsta.reM This user is from outside of this forum
    mei@donotsta.reM This user is from outside of this forum
    mei@donotsta.re
    wrote sidst redigeret af
    #125

    @vkc@linuxmom.net yeah… that probably includes putting enough warnings on all those “hey it’s easy to selfhost your own instance if you wanna” selling points to make it very clear that, while you can do it, it also means you’re signing up to be moderating which instances you federate with on your own

    the reason we don’t have such warnings already is probably at least in part the fact that cis white fossbros would presumably be much less affected by this (at least, the targeted harassment part of the problem)

    1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

      Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

      Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

      donchacale@mastodon.socialD This user is from outside of this forum
      donchacale@mastodon.socialD This user is from outside of this forum
      donchacale@mastodon.social
      wrote sidst redigeret af
      #126

      @vkc
      gah!!! so sorry to hear that.

      1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • moondog548@nerdculture.deM moondog548@nerdculture.de

        @haltroy
        And just like any disease we'll keep fighting it.
        @Orb2069 @vkc

        orb2069@mastodon.onlineO This user is from outside of this forum
        orb2069@mastodon.onlineO This user is from outside of this forum
        orb2069@mastodon.online
        wrote sidst redigeret af
        #127

        @moondog548 you might be interested in this - after the trigger warnings, the relevant part is at the 30 minute mark.

        https://youtu.be/P55t6eryY3g

        @haltroy @vkc

        moondog548@nerdculture.deM 1 Reply Last reply
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        • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

          Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

          Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

          ykantrachelread@social.treehouse.systemsY This user is from outside of this forum
          ykantrachelread@social.treehouse.systemsY This user is from outside of this forum
          ykantrachelread@social.treehouse.systems
          wrote sidst redigeret af
          #128

          @vkc this place is, sadly, super fucking misogynist as a whole. I'm sorry you've received some of the worst of it ♥️

          1 Reply Last reply
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          • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

            Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

            Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

            ciela@mastodon.ieC This user is from outside of this forum
            ciela@mastodon.ieC This user is from outside of this forum
            ciela@mastodon.ie
            wrote sidst redigeret af
            #129

            @vkc I am so sorry that you had to deal with this.

            1 Reply Last reply
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            • alex02@elonsucks.orgA alex02@elonsucks.org

              @vkc no it is not and quite frankly your response is quite obnoxious. If we can't talk about problems collectively on this shithole platform and only talk about one thing at a time than it becomes loose islands among the rest of the sewage, but fine whatever. Thank you for proving my point about how hostile this place is becoming with all you morons whining, but yet do this type of shit. Anyways, enjoy the block. I generally don't care.

              viralobscurity@mstdn.socialV This user is from outside of this forum
              viralobscurity@mstdn.socialV This user is from outside of this forum
              viralobscurity@mstdn.social
              wrote sidst redigeret af
              #130

              @alex02 @vkc you may, or may not, have a point about some people being hostile to Gen Z

              I'm not the right person to comment on that because I've had no experience of it one way or the other but hijacking a thread about sexual harrasment for your own issues and being hostile when it's pointed out you are off topic is frankly, obnoxious in itself

              Then there is the fact you come here complaining about "whiney bitches" on this thread of all things

              Complete failure to read the room right there

              1 Reply Last reply
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              • gabriel@fedi.gvisoc.comG gabriel@fedi.gvisoc.com

                @StingrayBadger @NJWookie @vkc I don't think she's talking only about mechanisms to put in the fediverse, but also to fight this shit in every corner of life.

                If everyone was willing to fight this everywhere, anywhere, anytime, we shouldn't have to create a whistle to pile on the problem if we're not online or awake: all bystanders would stand up promptly at the very moment a turd jumps out his cesspit.

                njwookie@mindly.socialN This user is from outside of this forum
                njwookie@mindly.socialN This user is from outside of this forum
                njwookie@mindly.social
                wrote sidst redigeret af
                #131

                @gabriel @StingrayBadger @vkc For sure but me fighting IRL where I live might not do much for someone who lives thousands of miles away. Also harassment often comes from those who don’t act that way IRL. Hiding behind the keyboard allows many to let the worst of themselves out when they normally hide that in the real world.

                gabriel@fedi.gvisoc.comG 1 Reply Last reply
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                • stingraybadger@zirk.usS stingraybadger@zirk.us

                  @NJWookie @vkc

                  Do you think this should be separate from the #FediBlock system already in place or in addition?

                  njwookie@mindly.socialN This user is from outside of this forum
                  njwookie@mindly.socialN This user is from outside of this forum
                  njwookie@mindly.social
                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                  #132

                  @StingrayBadger @vkc Perhaps. Blocking just takes a bad actor and turns them towards their next target. Fighting occupies the bad actor and drowns them out.

                  1 Reply Last reply
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                  • orb2069@mastodon.onlineO orb2069@mastodon.online

                    @moondog548 you might be interested in this - after the trigger warnings, the relevant part is at the 30 minute mark.

                    https://youtu.be/P55t6eryY3g

                    @haltroy @vkc

                    moondog548@nerdculture.deM This user is from outside of this forum
                    moondog548@nerdculture.deM This user is from outside of this forum
                    moondog548@nerdculture.de
                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                    #133

                    @Orb2069
                    Hell yes! I'm already a patron of that channel.
                    @haltroy @vkc

                    1 Reply Last reply
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                    • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                      Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                      Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                      membrana@bolha.oneM This user is from outside of this forum
                      membrana@bolha.oneM This user is from outside of this forum
                      membrana@bolha.one
                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                      #134

                      @vkc I had been tracking out what I considered to be sexually harassment or predatory behaviour happening on my fedi buddle recently, many times happening in a somewhat veiled manner.

                      My conclusion is that people actually protect each other, normalise those behaviours amongst communities. Some people's entire m.o. is to be thirsting over several (often cis) women in a community.

                      Even worst, in environments where people will discuss sexual content, the lines blur and discomfort becomes expected.

                      Am in solidarity with you and also hope people who are currently enabling this behaviour take action instead of leaving women to fight and treat these situations as isolated occurrences and not an aspect of the culture.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • njwookie@mindly.socialN njwookie@mindly.social

                        @gabriel @StingrayBadger @vkc For sure but me fighting IRL where I live might not do much for someone who lives thousands of miles away. Also harassment often comes from those who don’t act that way IRL. Hiding behind the keyboard allows many to let the worst of themselves out when they normally hide that in the real world.

                        gabriel@fedi.gvisoc.comG This user is from outside of this forum
                        gabriel@fedi.gvisoc.comG This user is from outside of this forum
                        gabriel@fedi.gvisoc.com
                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                        #135

                        @NJWookie @StingrayBadger @vkc I was not telling that to / about you.

                        I was making the point that what it needs to change is the men all across the board, and make that fight a natural reflex in any environment, so that it doesn't require a hashtag with notifications for a bunch of select miniroty, but just some, **any** decent human being walking by.

                        njwookie@mindly.socialN 1 Reply Last reply
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                        • gabriel@fedi.gvisoc.comG gabriel@fedi.gvisoc.com

                          @NJWookie @StingrayBadger @vkc I was not telling that to / about you.

                          I was making the point that what it needs to change is the men all across the board, and make that fight a natural reflex in any environment, so that it doesn't require a hashtag with notifications for a bunch of select miniroty, but just some, **any** decent human being walking by.

                          njwookie@mindly.socialN This user is from outside of this forum
                          njwookie@mindly.socialN This user is from outside of this forum
                          njwookie@mindly.social
                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                          #136

                          @gabriel @StingrayBadger @vkc

                          You replied to me and at point you just seem to be preaching to the choir, captioning the obvious, or something else. You seem to mean well but come off odd so I’ll wish you well and go on my way. Peace.

                          gabriel@fedi.gvisoc.comG 1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • njwookie@mindly.socialN njwookie@mindly.social

                            @gabriel @StingrayBadger @vkc

                            You replied to me and at point you just seem to be preaching to the choir, captioning the obvious, or something else. You seem to mean well but come off odd so I’ll wish you well and go on my way. Peace.

                            gabriel@fedi.gvisoc.comG This user is from outside of this forum
                            gabriel@fedi.gvisoc.comG This user is from outside of this forum
                            gabriel@fedi.gvisoc.com
                            wrote sidst redigeret af
                            #137

                            @NJWookie @StingrayBadger @vkc it was more to stingray's, but whatever. Peace.

                            1 Reply Last reply
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                            • alex02@elonsucks.orgA alex02@elonsucks.org

                              @vkc no it is not and quite frankly your response is quite obnoxious. If we can't talk about problems collectively on this shithole platform and only talk about one thing at a time than it becomes loose islands among the rest of the sewage, but fine whatever. Thank you for proving my point about how hostile this place is becoming with all you morons whining, but yet do this type of shit. Anyways, enjoy the block. I generally don't care.

                              australopithecus@mastodon.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
                              australopithecus@mastodon.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
                              australopithecus@mastodon.social
                              wrote sidst redigeret af
                              #138

                              @alex02 @vkc
                              Alex, with all compassion, you're being an idiot here. I'm not saying that you don't have a valid point, but frfr don't thread-jack someone else's post to make it about yourself. And as a dude, really truly don't thread-jack discussions about bad men behaving badly to be about yourself; there is no scenario where you come out of that looking like anything other than a bad man behaving badly.

                              1 Reply Last reply
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                              • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                                Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                                chris@mstdn.chrisalemany.caC This user is from outside of this forum
                                chris@mstdn.chrisalemany.caC This user is from outside of this forum
                                chris@mstdn.chrisalemany.ca
                                wrote sidst redigeret af
                                #139

                                @vkc trying. I wish there was a way to flag this stuff so friends and allies could call it out and make it much more unpleasant for the perpetrators than for the victim. Consequences are needed!

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • jirikiha@raphus.socialJ jirikiha@raphus.social

                                  @vkc men, do better.

                                  Be a man in the internet. Talk about what you like. Cars, weather, trains, sports. See how the replies are on topic.

                                  Be a woman on the internet. Talk about what you like.
                                  Cars, weather, trains, sports. See the replies talking about your boobs. See the DMs filled with, "hey baby", and unsolicited dick pics.

                                  If you are a man, you won't see most - or any! - of what women experience daily online. That doesn't mean it doesn't happen. Your just in a safe little bubble of privilege. Own it, and do better.

                                  robcinos@hachyderm.ioR This user is from outside of this forum
                                  robcinos@hachyderm.ioR This user is from outside of this forum
                                  robcinos@hachyderm.io
                                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                                  #140

                                  @Jirikiha @vkc

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • jwcph@helvede.netJ jwcph@helvede.net shared this topic
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