Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.
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@eq @vkc idk how much it helps (if at all), but it might help to focus on the problem (excluding behaviours) rather than groups (humans are a let down).
Like... less "the situation will always be shit" ("we can't have nice things") and more "That sounds very frustrating; I don't wish that for you or anyone else".
Maybe with a dash of "I try to fight it where I can, but XYZ tends to happen. Anyone got any advice while we're on the topic?"
Or "I might try [whatever other suggestions]."Idk. I'm not an expert
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@eq "don't let the idiots get you" - do you see how that puts it on me?
I trust you mean well, but respectfully: no. The correct response is "men should fight back when they see this amongst themselves."
It isn't my responsibility to "not let them get me down." It's men who need to step up and fight this battle.
@vkc @eq Even if that were an option, we are frequently talking about attention that goes far beyond human-scale. Individuals are not equipped to process let alone cope with the volume of negative attention that someone can be subjected to the moment that some internet angrymans decide to make it a part of their lifestyle to make someone else's life unpleasant.
This is a social problem with communal implications, not an individual problem that someone should be able to traverse without support.
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Do you think this should be separate from the #FediBlock system already in place or in addition?
@StingrayBadger @NJWookie @vkc I don't think she's talking only about mechanisms to put in the fediverse, but also to fight this shit in every corner of life.
If everyone was willing to fight this everywhere, anywhere, anytime, we shouldn't have to create a whistle to pile on the problem if we're not online or awake: all bystanders would stand up promptly at the very moment a turd jumps out his cesspit.
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Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.
Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.
@vkc fwiw you’re a great presence online and I will be checking out peertube more largely because you’re putting content on there
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Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.
Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.
@vkc@linuxmom.net yeah… that probably includes putting enough warnings on all those “hey it’s easy to selfhost your own instance if you wanna” selling points to make it very clear that, while you can do it, it also means you’re signing up to be moderating which instances you federate with on your own
the reason we don’t have such warnings already is probably at least in part the fact that cis white fossbros would presumably be much less affected by this (at least, the targeted harassment part of the problem)
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Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.
Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.
@vkc
gah!!! so sorry to hear that. -
@moondog548 you might be interested in this - after the trigger warnings, the relevant part is at the 30 minute mark.
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Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.
Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.
@vkc this place is, sadly, super fucking misogynist as a whole. I'm sorry you've received some of the worst of it
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Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.
Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.
@vkc I am so sorry that you had to deal with this.
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@vkc no it is not and quite frankly your response is quite obnoxious. If we can't talk about problems collectively on this shithole platform and only talk about one thing at a time than it becomes loose islands among the rest of the sewage, but fine whatever. Thank you for proving my point about how hostile this place is becoming with all you morons whining, but yet do this type of shit. Anyways, enjoy the block. I generally don't care.
@alex02 @vkc you may, or may not, have a point about some people being hostile to Gen Z
I'm not the right person to comment on that because I've had no experience of it one way or the other but hijacking a thread about sexual harrasment for your own issues and being hostile when it's pointed out you are off topic is frankly, obnoxious in itself
Then there is the fact you come here complaining about "whiney bitches" on this thread of all things
Complete failure to read the room right there
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@StingrayBadger @NJWookie @vkc I don't think she's talking only about mechanisms to put in the fediverse, but also to fight this shit in every corner of life.
If everyone was willing to fight this everywhere, anywhere, anytime, we shouldn't have to create a whistle to pile on the problem if we're not online or awake: all bystanders would stand up promptly at the very moment a turd jumps out his cesspit.
@gabriel @StingrayBadger @vkc For sure but me fighting IRL where I live might not do much for someone who lives thousands of miles away. Also harassment often comes from those who don’t act that way IRL. Hiding behind the keyboard allows many to let the worst of themselves out when they normally hide that in the real world.
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Do you think this should be separate from the #FediBlock system already in place or in addition?
@StingrayBadger @vkc Perhaps. Blocking just takes a bad actor and turns them towards their next target. Fighting occupies the bad actor and drowns them out.
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@moondog548 you might be interested in this - after the trigger warnings, the relevant part is at the 30 minute mark.
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Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.
Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.
@vkc I had been tracking out what I considered to be sexually harassment or predatory behaviour happening on my fedi buddle recently, many times happening in a somewhat veiled manner.
My conclusion is that people actually protect each other, normalise those behaviours amongst communities. Some people's entire m.o. is to be thirsting over several (often cis) women in a community.
Even worst, in environments where people will discuss sexual content, the lines blur and discomfort becomes expected.
Am in solidarity with you and also hope people who are currently enabling this behaviour take action instead of leaving women to fight and treat these situations as isolated occurrences and not an aspect of the culture.
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@gabriel @StingrayBadger @vkc For sure but me fighting IRL where I live might not do much for someone who lives thousands of miles away. Also harassment often comes from those who don’t act that way IRL. Hiding behind the keyboard allows many to let the worst of themselves out when they normally hide that in the real world.
@NJWookie @StingrayBadger @vkc I was not telling that to / about you.
I was making the point that what it needs to change is the men all across the board, and make that fight a natural reflex in any environment, so that it doesn't require a hashtag with notifications for a bunch of select miniroty, but just some, **any** decent human being walking by.
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@NJWookie @StingrayBadger @vkc I was not telling that to / about you.
I was making the point that what it needs to change is the men all across the board, and make that fight a natural reflex in any environment, so that it doesn't require a hashtag with notifications for a bunch of select miniroty, but just some, **any** decent human being walking by.
You replied to me and at point you just seem to be preaching to the choir, captioning the obvious, or something else. You seem to mean well but come off odd so I’ll wish you well and go on my way. Peace.
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You replied to me and at point you just seem to be preaching to the choir, captioning the obvious, or something else. You seem to mean well but come off odd so I’ll wish you well and go on my way. Peace.
@NJWookie @StingrayBadger @vkc it was more to stingray's, but whatever. Peace.
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@vkc no it is not and quite frankly your response is quite obnoxious. If we can't talk about problems collectively on this shithole platform and only talk about one thing at a time than it becomes loose islands among the rest of the sewage, but fine whatever. Thank you for proving my point about how hostile this place is becoming with all you morons whining, but yet do this type of shit. Anyways, enjoy the block. I generally don't care.
@alex02 @vkc
Alex, with all compassion, you're being an idiot here. I'm not saying that you don't have a valid point, but frfr don't thread-jack someone else's post to make it about yourself. And as a dude, really truly don't thread-jack discussions about bad men behaving badly to be about yourself; there is no scenario where you come out of that looking like anything other than a bad man behaving badly. -
Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.
Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.
@vkc trying. I wish there was a way to flag this stuff so friends and allies could call it out and make it much more unpleasant for the perpetrators than for the victim. Consequences are needed!
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@vkc men, do better.
Be a man in the internet. Talk about what you like. Cars, weather, trains, sports. See how the replies are on topic.
Be a woman on the internet. Talk about what you like.
Cars, weather, trains, sports. See the replies talking about your boobs. See the DMs filled with, "hey baby", and unsolicited dick pics.If you are a man, you won't see most - or any! - of what women experience daily online. That doesn't mean it doesn't happen. Your just in a safe little bubble of privilege. Own it, and do better.
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