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  3. I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

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  • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

    @McNeely I think it's unique to decentralization. If your instance blocked a baddie before they post in my replies, you don't see it and I do. In centralized social media, a mass of reports is enough to ban an account and get their posts mass-deleted. That just can't happen here.

    void@social.voidkvlt.euV This user is from outside of this forum
    void@social.voidkvlt.euV This user is from outside of this forum
    void@social.voidkvlt.eu
    wrote sidst redigeret af
    #29

    @vkc @McNeely 100% accurate. I run a micro-instance that's likely to upset people and attract bother, and I have to set aside time to expose myself to some genuinely grotesque and upsetting stuff in order to keep on top of the servers I need to block, and we get far fewer eyeballs and interaction on us than Victoria.

    1 Reply Last reply
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    • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

      What I've shared today is just *annoying*. It isn't the level of malevolence that I've seen.

      I've had stuff sent my way that I have nightmares about. I won't share that crap. But annoying stuff? I'm not holding that back anymore- you-all are getting called out.

      moerje@piaille.frM This user is from outside of this forum
      moerje@piaille.frM This user is from outside of this forum
      moerje@piaille.fr
      wrote sidst redigeret af
      #30

      @vkc sorry about all that crap. Some people are using their anonymity to reveal their real nature that can be awful. And because they may read you every day, they think they know you intimately so they suppose they're allowed to tell you anything they want. That's difficult to ignore these haters when you're their target. I hope you'll be able to get over it.

      1 Reply Last reply
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      • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

        I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

        It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.

        I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.

        Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.

        claus@hachyderm.ioC This user is from outside of this forum
        claus@hachyderm.ioC This user is from outside of this forum
        claus@hachyderm.io
        wrote sidst redigeret af
        #31

        @vkc I'm sorry about how Fedi is treating you. I sometimes forget that my own Fedi bubble is benign not because Fedi as a whole is benign, but because I put in the effort to aggressively block any content I don't like, *and* I don't have a visible enough presence that would encourage the undesirables to circumvent my block list.

        Social media can be garbage, and if you do need a break I will be sad because I enjoy your content, but please do put your own mental health first if you need to.

        Best wishes...

        1 Reply Last reply
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        • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

          I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

          It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.

          I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.

          Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.

          threedollarchickenparm@mstdn.caT This user is from outside of this forum
          threedollarchickenparm@mstdn.caT This user is from outside of this forum
          threedollarchickenparm@mstdn.ca
          wrote sidst redigeret af
          #32

          @vkc Thanks for speaking openly about this, Veronica. I cannot fully understand your situation, but I can relate to being harassed in an invisible way and I wouldn't wish that on anyone else. I wouldn't want to see you leave Fedi, but I also wouldn't blame you if you did.

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          • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

            When people say "Veronica loves the Fediverse", they remove my agency from this place. I'm a character. They're the narrator. I don't like that.

            I think for a lot of folks, Fedi is sweet. It's quiet. It's slow. But for many, many, many of us, it's this slow-rolling insanity machine where you see the WORST THINGS and nobody else does.

            And to be frank and clear, I'm just talking about things from my white US perspective. I don't even get the worst of it, and I recognize that.

            dlaroe@fosstodon.orgD This user is from outside of this forum
            dlaroe@fosstodon.orgD This user is from outside of this forum
            dlaroe@fosstodon.org
            wrote sidst redigeret af
            #33

            @vkc

            You are surely frank and clear.

            You sharing stuff like this is really valuable to me as a white, cisgendered, heterosexual, male, with a low volume account. My privileges stack in such a way that I see none of the bad actor interactions you do.

            Thank you for sharing what those who aren't even the worst of us in the Fediverse are doing so we all can know at least that much.

            1 Reply Last reply
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            • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

              @McNeely I think it's unique to decentralization. If your instance blocked a baddie before they post in my replies, you don't see it and I do. In centralized social media, a mass of reports is enough to ban an account and get their posts mass-deleted. That just can't happen here.

              shadow_glider@equestria.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
              shadow_glider@equestria.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
              shadow_glider@equestria.social
              wrote sidst redigeret af
              #34

              @vkc @McNeely Perhaps reports could be federated and an instance can set it so that if an account has over a certain amount of reports posts/replies have to be manually approved?

              Not sure how much this would help but it feels like it could help somewhat, obvs if this is a bad idea please tell me

              bredroll@mas.toB 1 Reply Last reply
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              • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

                It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.

                I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.

                Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.

                classwario@mastodon.socialC This user is from outside of this forum
                classwario@mastodon.socialC This user is from outside of this forum
                classwario@mastodon.social
                wrote sidst redigeret af
                #35

                @vkc This platform needs more editing (and anger) aimed at it. This is my third account because I get frustrated at what it is (then come back here for what it should be).

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                • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                  @sashin I get things that are illegal if I retransmit them

                  bredroll@mas.toB This user is from outside of this forum
                  bredroll@mas.toB This user is from outside of this forum
                  bredroll@mas.to
                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                  #36

                  @vkc @sashin i wonder if fedi has a community block list feature

                  nershelam@eldritch.cafeN 1 Reply Last reply
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                  • shadow_glider@equestria.socialS shadow_glider@equestria.social

                    @vkc @McNeely Perhaps reports could be federated and an instance can set it so that if an account has over a certain amount of reports posts/replies have to be manually approved?

                    Not sure how much this would help but it feels like it could help somewhat, obvs if this is a bad idea please tell me

                    bredroll@mas.toB This user is from outside of this forum
                    bredroll@mas.toB This user is from outside of this forum
                    bredroll@mas.to
                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                    #37

                    @Shadow_Glider @vkc @McNeely i do wonder if its more costly to manage federated or honepot blocking than the bad actors just creating more accounts

                    1 Reply Last reply
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                    • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                      I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

                      It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.

                      I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.

                      Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.

                      borisschapira@framapiaf.orgB This user is from outside of this forum
                      borisschapira@framapiaf.orgB This user is from outside of this forum
                      borisschapira@framapiaf.org
                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                      #38

                      @vkc sorry you have to got through this. Did you notice the content to the server's admin (really asking, not saying you have to)?

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                        What I've shared today is just *annoying*. It isn't the level of malevolence that I've seen.

                        I've had stuff sent my way that I have nightmares about. I won't share that crap. But annoying stuff? I'm not holding that back anymore- you-all are getting called out.

                        osma@mas.toO This user is from outside of this forum
                        osma@mas.toO This user is from outside of this forum
                        osma@mas.to
                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                        #39

                        Thanks for being here, and thanks for speaking out. This won't ever get better without first acknowledging it's not good.
                        @vkc

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                          @McNeely I think it's unique to decentralization. If your instance blocked a baddie before they post in my replies, you don't see it and I do. In centralized social media, a mass of reports is enough to ban an account and get their posts mass-deleted. That just can't happen here.

                          furby@towns.gayF This user is from outside of this forum
                          furby@towns.gayF This user is from outside of this forum
                          furby@towns.gay
                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                          #40

                          @vkc @McNeely This highlights a need for more co-ordinated efforts like The Bad Space, but less manual. @Gargron How are those imported ban lists coming along?

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                          • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                            I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

                            It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.

                            I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.

                            Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.

                            hobo_ahoi@mastodon.socialH This user is from outside of this forum
                            hobo_ahoi@mastodon.socialH This user is from outside of this forum
                            hobo_ahoi@mastodon.social
                            wrote sidst redigeret af
                            #41

                            @vkc I really appreciate your work here (as well as on YouTube), and I am glad that people like you contribute the Fediverse. Recently in German Mastodon another woman issued hate speech she is receiving on a regular basis. It‘s a shame, and it‘s simply against everything the Fediverse was built for. Please feel my/our support!

                            PS: And I apologize for my remark earlier today, which I made while not having understood well the things you were talking about.

                            1 Reply Last reply
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                            • francis@mastodon.babb.noF francis@mastodon.babb.no

                              @vkc You're great, Veronica, and I do appreciate your work.

                              eivind@mastodon.fjerland.noE This user is from outside of this forum
                              eivind@mastodon.fjerland.noE This user is from outside of this forum
                              eivind@mastodon.fjerland.no
                              wrote sidst redigeret af
                              #42

                              @francis @vkc I concur. I'm sorry to hear you've had bad experiences here, and I have benefited from your knowledge more than once. And to those making people's lives difficult here, just cut it out.

                              1 Reply Last reply
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                              • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

                                It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.

                                I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.

                                Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.

                                nthelt@mastodon.socialN This user is from outside of this forum
                                nthelt@mastodon.socialN This user is from outside of this forum
                                nthelt@mastodon.social
                                wrote sidst redigeret af
                                #43

                                @vkc I appreciate you. You're welcome here.

                                I feel that moderation tools on Fedi is lacking. There should be a way for smaller instances to follow the moderation decisions of larger, more well-moderated instances. Maybe in the form of a community blocked users and instances list that updates in real time, and instances can choose to follow that 100%, or apply whitelists and blacklists to it.

                                Maybe multiple block lists, like we do with ad blocking.

                                kelson@notes.kvibber.comK prinlu@0x.trans.failP 2 Replies Last reply
                                0
                                • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                  I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

                                  It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.

                                  I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.

                                  Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.

                                  missconstrue@mefi.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
                                  missconstrue@mefi.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
                                  missconstrue@mefi.social
                                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                                  #44

                                  @vkc Im sorry you are experiencing this. Being ovarian presenting and conscious has always been problematic for a certain subset of humans to recognize. How very dare we be autonomous. 🫂

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                    I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

                                    It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.

                                    I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.

                                    Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.

                                    scunneen@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                    scunneen@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                    scunneen@mastodon.social
                                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                                    #45

                                    @vkc Do you think that things would be better if fedi worked more like a network of blogs and stored comments on the server of the person who made the original post? Then deciding which comments people see is the responsibility of the original post's server, and everyone can see the same comment list. This also would allow posters to delete other peoples' comments on their posts, and to prevent people who they have blocked from commenting.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                      @sashin I get things that are illegal if I retransmit them

                                      toadjaune@hostux.socialT This user is from outside of this forum
                                      toadjaune@hostux.socialT This user is from outside of this forum
                                      toadjaune@hostux.social
                                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                                      #46

                                      @vkc @sashin oh boy.

                                      And here I was finding just the constant influx of news from the world hard to handle already, I'm so sorry that some of you folks get much much worse 😕

                                      1 Reply Last reply
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                                      • nthelt@mastodon.socialN nthelt@mastodon.social

                                        @vkc I appreciate you. You're welcome here.

                                        I feel that moderation tools on Fedi is lacking. There should be a way for smaller instances to follow the moderation decisions of larger, more well-moderated instances. Maybe in the form of a community blocked users and instances list that updates in real time, and instances can choose to follow that 100%, or apply whitelists and blacklists to it.

                                        Maybe multiple block lists, like we do with ad blocking.

                                        kelson@notes.kvibber.comK This user is from outside of this forum
                                        kelson@notes.kvibber.comK This user is from outside of this forum
                                        kelson@notes.kvibber.com
                                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                                        #47

                                        @vkc @nthelt There's work being done on that by some of the non-mastodon software at least. I've got my GoToSocial instance pulling blocklists from IFTAS automatically and from TBS in draft mode.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                          I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

                                          It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.

                                          I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.

                                          Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.

                                          mina@berlin.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
                                          mina@berlin.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
                                          mina@berlin.social
                                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                                          #48

                                          @vkc

                                          Just sending a few hugs your way.

                                          I love your YouTube channel, and I was so happy to find you here, too.

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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