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  3. Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

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  • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

    @semitones thanks for bringing that up 🩷 seems like a good time to boost that post again.

    @vkc

    steggy@sunny.gardenS This user is from outside of this forum
    steggy@sunny.gardenS This user is from outside of this forum
    steggy@sunny.garden
    wrote sidst redigeret af
    #80

    @alice @semitones @vkc I think that is the post I saw that made me want to follow you, Alice!

    1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

      Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

      Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

      gavinisdie@masto.aiG This user is from outside of this forum
      gavinisdie@masto.aiG This user is from outside of this forum
      gavinisdie@masto.ai
      wrote sidst redigeret af
      #81

      @vkc is it coming from the same server? If so, i'd make a #fediblock post

      1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • regguy@mstdn.socialR regguy@mstdn.social

        @mloxton There is an excellent book, "How to Be an Antiracist," by Ibram X. Kendi. Sexism has become a more difficult thing, as in some cases, it's in the eye of the recipient. I take anything like a slight only because they are the opposite sex to be sexism; that goes both ways. I think there is a lot of overt sexism that's easy to spot. If someone is harassing another, that's not necessarily sexism, but certainly harassment, and occurs more toward women than men, to be sure. @bob @vkc

        mloxton@med-mastodon.comM This user is from outside of this forum
        mloxton@med-mastodon.comM This user is from outside of this forum
        mloxton@med-mastodon.com
        wrote sidst redigeret af
        #82

        @RegGuy
        At risk of flooding out Veronica's voice here (a real risk and also sexism), yeah, the overt "hey you b*tch" stuff is easy to spot.
        More difficult is the coded stuff. Using innocent words to highlight "feminine" vs "masculine" aspects
        Even more difficult is noticing undue focus, undue exclusion, and seemingly automatic assumptions that a woman should be more caring or gentle, or be the default peacemaker, etc.

        It takes a lot of work, persistence, and attention

        @bob @vkc

        bob@beamship.mpaq.orgB 1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • moondog548@nerdculture.deM moondog548@nerdculture.de

          @Aprazeth
          This is a huge opportunity. We need to learn *and teach eachother* how to call our brothers in when they're out of line.

          We need to know what to do and make it a reflex!
          @alice @vkc

          alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
          alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
          alice@lgbtqia.space
          wrote sidst redigeret af
          #83

          @moondog548 as one of their peers, you can have a huge impact on toxic behavior in 3-5 simple words:

          "Dude, not cool."
          "What the fuck, man?"
          "Hey, that was fucked up."

          Pick whatever variation works best for your peer group, and snap back with it as soon as the bullshit leaves their mouth. Be upset and make it uncomfortable for a moment. Don't let them brush it off as a joke.

          @Aprazeth @vkc

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

            Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

            Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

            dj@parcero.casaD This user is from outside of this forum
            dj@parcero.casaD This user is from outside of this forum
            dj@parcero.casa
            wrote sidst redigeret af
            #84
            @vkc
            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • alex02@elonsucks.orgA alex02@elonsucks.org

              @vkc no it is not and quite frankly your response is quite obnoxious. If we can't talk about problems collectively on this shithole platform and only talk about one thing at a time than it becomes loose islands among the rest of the sewage, but fine whatever. Thank you for proving my point about how hostile this place is becoming with all you morons whining, but yet do this type of shit. Anyways, enjoy the block. I generally don't care.

              gavinisdie@masto.aiG This user is from outside of this forum
              gavinisdie@masto.aiG This user is from outside of this forum
              gavinisdie@masto.ai
              wrote sidst redigeret af
              #85

              @alex02 @vkc what are you even on about 😭

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                chiraag@mastodon.onlineC This user is from outside of this forum
                chiraag@mastodon.onlineC This user is from outside of this forum
                chiraag@mastodon.online
                wrote sidst redigeret af
                #86

                @vkc Goddammit. Men suck (as a man).

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • aprazeth@mstdn.socialA aprazeth@mstdn.social

                  @moondog548 @alice @vkc

                  There are differing styles of communication and personalities to take into account, so don't necessarily use these as-is. Adapt to your situation/style/personality

                  Some examples to get started (for the edgy remark retorts)

                  - Not cool dude
                  - that's fucked up
                  - ask them to explain what they meant, make them explain their "edgy" stuff

                  But above all, be the better example. Support women, POC, LGBTQ, and *believe them* when they call out stuff

                  aprazeth@mstdn.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
                  aprazeth@mstdn.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
                  aprazeth@mstdn.social
                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                  #87

                  @moondog548 @alice @vkc

                  And keep in mind: some men will just be monsters. No amount of social pressure or calling out will work on them as they keep making those remarks

                  In those instances - ostracize them from your life, and warn others. Do not accept them as "quirky but harmless". Because it will escalate, and will draw in others. That will prompt "but he says it, and it's accepted so I should be able to say it as well"

                  > Silence now is implied endorsement later.

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • moondog548@nerdculture.deM moondog548@nerdculture.de

                    @Aprazeth
                    This is a huge opportunity. We need to learn *and teach eachother* how to call our brothers in when they're out of line.

                    We need to know what to do and make it a reflex!
                    @alice @vkc

                    aprazeth@mstdn.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
                    aprazeth@mstdn.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
                    aprazeth@mstdn.social
                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                    #88

                    @moondog548 @alice @vkc

                    There are differing styles of communication and personalities to take into account, so don't necessarily use these as-is. Adapt to your situation/style/personality

                    Some examples to get started (for the edgy remark retorts)

                    - Not cool dude
                    - that's fucked up
                    - ask them to explain what they meant, make them explain their "edgy" stuff

                    But above all, be the better example. Support women, POC, LGBTQ, and *believe them* when they call out stuff

                    aprazeth@mstdn.socialA 1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                      Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                      Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                      pacavegano@friendica.odonian.orgP This user is from outside of this forum
                      pacavegano@friendica.odonian.orgP This user is from outside of this forum
                      pacavegano@friendica.odonian.org
                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                      #89

                      @vkc I’m very sorry to hear this. Just this morning I watched your videos on installing Linux on Chromebooks and comparing standard Mint to Debian Mint (loved the visual REM reference, btw). And a few days ago your video about installing Linux on M1 Macs inspired me to do just that.

                      You’re doing great work, and I really appreciate you being on PeerTube. Thanks much!

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                        Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                        Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                        lexinova@cyberplace.socialL This user is from outside of this forum
                        lexinova@cyberplace.socialL This user is from outside of this forum
                        lexinova@cyberplace.social
                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                        #90

                        @vkc had some best way not engage ignore block report.

                        if you engage, you already lost.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • mloxton@med-mastodon.comM mloxton@med-mastodon.com

                          @RegGuy
                          At risk of flooding out Veronica's voice here (a real risk and also sexism), yeah, the overt "hey you b*tch" stuff is easy to spot.
                          More difficult is the coded stuff. Using innocent words to highlight "feminine" vs "masculine" aspects
                          Even more difficult is noticing undue focus, undue exclusion, and seemingly automatic assumptions that a woman should be more caring or gentle, or be the default peacemaker, etc.

                          It takes a lot of work, persistence, and attention

                          @bob @vkc

                          bob@beamship.mpaq.orgB This user is from outside of this forum
                          bob@beamship.mpaq.orgB This user is from outside of this forum
                          bob@beamship.mpaq.org
                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                          #91

                          @mloxton @RegGuy @vkc

                          I do a lot of coding for the MPAQ network. Sitting here working on other things and wondering if i could build a database/site to collect names@instances that someone sends...

                          mloxton@med-mastodon.comM 1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • bob@beamship.mpaq.orgB bob@beamship.mpaq.org

                            @mloxton @RegGuy @vkc

                            I do a lot of coding for the MPAQ network. Sitting here working on other things and wondering if i could build a database/site to collect names@instances that someone sends...

                            mloxton@med-mastodon.comM This user is from outside of this forum
                            mloxton@med-mastodon.comM This user is from outside of this forum
                            mloxton@med-mastodon.com
                            wrote sidst redigeret af
                            #92

                            @bob
                            There is something like that afaik
                            Not sure if it wound up as an app, but women were circulating a blocklist of known gremlins

                            @RegGuy @vkc

                            bob@beamship.mpaq.orgB 1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                              Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                              Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                              coriopsicologia@mastodon.socialC This user is from outside of this forum
                              coriopsicologia@mastodon.socialC This user is from outside of this forum
                              coriopsicologia@mastodon.social
                              wrote sidst redigeret af
                              #93

                              @vkc

                              I just can send you hugs, and apple pies.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                                Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                                valen1@mstdn.socialV This user is from outside of this forum
                                valen1@mstdn.socialV This user is from outside of this forum
                                valen1@mstdn.social
                                wrote sidst redigeret af
                                #94

                                @vkc Real men understand what consent means. Real men don't treat women like garbage. Real men fight that shit.

                                Be a real man, not garbage who make women uncomfortable to be who they are.

                                #FightThatShit

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                  Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                                  Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                                  64bithero@mstdn.games6 This user is from outside of this forum
                                  64bithero@mstdn.games6 This user is from outside of this forum
                                  64bithero@mstdn.games
                                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                                  #95

                                  @vkc for anyone openly harassing someone on the Fediverse please leave and never come back.

                                  Sorry to hear what you are dealing with

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                    Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                                    Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                                    europlus@social.europlus.zoneE This user is from outside of this forum
                                    europlus@social.europlus.zoneE This user is from outside of this forum
                                    europlus@social.europlus.zone
                                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                                    #96

                                    @vkc I’m sorry the grubs are still around 😞

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • alex02@elonsucks.orgA alex02@elonsucks.org

                                      @vkc no it is not and quite frankly your response is quite obnoxious. If we can't talk about problems collectively on this shithole platform and only talk about one thing at a time than it becomes loose islands among the rest of the sewage, but fine whatever. Thank you for proving my point about how hostile this place is becoming with all you morons whining, but yet do this type of shit. Anyways, enjoy the block. I generally don't care.

                                      64bithero@mstdn.games6 This user is from outside of this forum
                                      64bithero@mstdn.games6 This user is from outside of this forum
                                      64bithero@mstdn.games
                                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                                      #97

                                      @alex02 @vkc go to Twitter go to Bluesky. She’s not asking for argument.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                        Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                                        Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                                        claudiaxm@mstdn.caC This user is from outside of this forum
                                        claudiaxm@mstdn.caC This user is from outside of this forum
                                        claudiaxm@mstdn.ca
                                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                                        #98

                                        @vkc I’m sorry for what you went through. Hope you’re doing ok.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • mloxton@med-mastodon.comM mloxton@med-mastodon.com

                                          @bob
                                          There is something like that afaik
                                          Not sure if it wound up as an app, but women were circulating a blocklist of known gremlins

                                          @RegGuy @vkc

                                          bob@beamship.mpaq.orgB This user is from outside of this forum
                                          bob@beamship.mpaq.orgB This user is from outside of this forum
                                          bob@beamship.mpaq.org
                                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                                          #99

                                          @mloxton @RegGuy @vkc

                                          Been searching but no luck finding a site that would let someone "report a bad user"...

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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