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  3. Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

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  • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

    Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

    Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

    troglet@mastodon.socialT This user is from outside of this forum
    troglet@mastodon.socialT This user is from outside of this forum
    troglet@mastodon.social
    wrote sidst redigeret af
    #71

    @vkc Well, that's disappointing. Sorry you had to do that. I do what I can when I see it, but of course I'm only one person.

    1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

      Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

      Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

      kimlockhartga@beige.partyK This user is from outside of this forum
      kimlockhartga@beige.partyK This user is from outside of this forum
      kimlockhartga@beige.party
      wrote sidst redigeret af
      #72

      @vkc oh JFC. I am sorry.

      1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • byrnensorg@mastodon.ieB byrnensorg@mastodon.ie

        @alice @vkc I have noticed today in multiple threads that there's a lot of anger out there and dare I say it, twittification, it's as if mastodon is morphing before our very eyes.

        alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
        alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
        alice@lgbtqia.space
        wrote sidst redigeret af
        #73

        @byrnensorg there's good reason for a lot of anger at some things. The problems have always been here too, but due to active moderation and the nature of federation, it can be less visible (except to the people who get sucker-punched).

        Also, the only way we keep Fedi from becoming Twitter is by believing the victims instead of the trolls.

        @vkc

        byrnensorg@mastodon.ieB 1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • mloxton@med-mastodon.comM mloxton@med-mastodon.com

          @RegGuy

          I hear you, and the same situation exists wrt racism. People of color say they get a ton of racist interactions, but I don't see it, so don't respond.

          I think three things are going on:
          1. There are things that *I* don't perceive as racist/sexist, but are experienced as such by the target. That bc the perpetrator is modulating to escape detection
          2. There are things that I haven't realized are racist and sexist, and I need to educate myself
          3. I am not in those environments
          @bob @vkc

          regguy@mstdn.socialR This user is from outside of this forum
          regguy@mstdn.socialR This user is from outside of this forum
          regguy@mstdn.social
          wrote sidst redigeret af
          #74

          @mloxton There is an excellent book, "How to Be an Antiracist," by Ibram X. Kendi. Sexism has become a more difficult thing, as in some cases, it's in the eye of the recipient. I take anything like a slight only because they are the opposite sex to be sexism; that goes both ways. I think there is a lot of overt sexism that's easy to spot. If someone is harassing another, that's not necessarily sexism, but certainly harassment, and occurs more toward women than men, to be sure. @bob @vkc

          mloxton@med-mastodon.comM 1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

            Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

            Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

            lastrobot@writing.exchangeL This user is from outside of this forum
            lastrobot@writing.exchangeL This user is from outside of this forum
            lastrobot@writing.exchange
            wrote sidst redigeret af
            #75

            @vkc Very sorry to hear you are experiencing this. It's not ok. 🌞

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

              Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

              Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

              scaro@mamot.frS This user is from outside of this forum
              scaro@mamot.frS This user is from outside of this forum
              scaro@mamot.fr
              wrote sidst redigeret af
              #76

              @vkc +1000000

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                @byrnensorg there's good reason for a lot of anger at some things. The problems have always been here too, but due to active moderation and the nature of federation, it can be less visible (except to the people who get sucker-punched).

                Also, the only way we keep Fedi from becoming Twitter is by believing the victims instead of the trolls.

                @vkc

                byrnensorg@mastodon.ieB This user is from outside of this forum
                byrnensorg@mastodon.ieB This user is from outside of this forum
                byrnensorg@mastodon.ie
                wrote sidst redigeret af
                #77

                @alice @vkc There was some threads this week that could've benefitted from an angry dome.

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                  Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                  Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                  linuxandyarn@hachyderm.ioL This user is from outside of this forum
                  linuxandyarn@hachyderm.ioL This user is from outside of this forum
                  linuxandyarn@hachyderm.io
                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                  #78

                  @vkc Hugs if you want them, a nod if you don't. Sorry you had to endure that bullshit again.

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                    Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                    Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                    steggy@sunny.gardenS This user is from outside of this forum
                    steggy@sunny.gardenS This user is from outside of this forum
                    steggy@sunny.garden
                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                    #79

                    @vkc I will never understand why some people just love to be shitheads.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                      @semitones thanks for bringing that up 🩷 seems like a good time to boost that post again.

                      @vkc

                      steggy@sunny.gardenS This user is from outside of this forum
                      steggy@sunny.gardenS This user is from outside of this forum
                      steggy@sunny.garden
                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                      #80

                      @alice @semitones @vkc I think that is the post I saw that made me want to follow you, Alice!

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                        Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                        Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                        gavinisdie@masto.aiG This user is from outside of this forum
                        gavinisdie@masto.aiG This user is from outside of this forum
                        gavinisdie@masto.ai
                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                        #81

                        @vkc is it coming from the same server? If so, i'd make a #fediblock post

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • regguy@mstdn.socialR regguy@mstdn.social

                          @mloxton There is an excellent book, "How to Be an Antiracist," by Ibram X. Kendi. Sexism has become a more difficult thing, as in some cases, it's in the eye of the recipient. I take anything like a slight only because they are the opposite sex to be sexism; that goes both ways. I think there is a lot of overt sexism that's easy to spot. If someone is harassing another, that's not necessarily sexism, but certainly harassment, and occurs more toward women than men, to be sure. @bob @vkc

                          mloxton@med-mastodon.comM This user is from outside of this forum
                          mloxton@med-mastodon.comM This user is from outside of this forum
                          mloxton@med-mastodon.com
                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                          #82

                          @RegGuy
                          At risk of flooding out Veronica's voice here (a real risk and also sexism), yeah, the overt "hey you b*tch" stuff is easy to spot.
                          More difficult is the coded stuff. Using innocent words to highlight "feminine" vs "masculine" aspects
                          Even more difficult is noticing undue focus, undue exclusion, and seemingly automatic assumptions that a woman should be more caring or gentle, or be the default peacemaker, etc.

                          It takes a lot of work, persistence, and attention

                          @bob @vkc

                          bob@beamship.mpaq.orgB 1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • moondog548@nerdculture.deM moondog548@nerdculture.de

                            @Aprazeth
                            This is a huge opportunity. We need to learn *and teach eachother* how to call our brothers in when they're out of line.

                            We need to know what to do and make it a reflex!
                            @alice @vkc

                            alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                            alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                            alice@lgbtqia.space
                            wrote sidst redigeret af
                            #83

                            @moondog548 as one of their peers, you can have a huge impact on toxic behavior in 3-5 simple words:

                            "Dude, not cool."
                            "What the fuck, man?"
                            "Hey, that was fucked up."

                            Pick whatever variation works best for your peer group, and snap back with it as soon as the bullshit leaves their mouth. Be upset and make it uncomfortable for a moment. Don't let them brush it off as a joke.

                            @Aprazeth @vkc

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                              Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                              Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                              dj@parcero.casaD This user is from outside of this forum
                              dj@parcero.casaD This user is from outside of this forum
                              dj@parcero.casa
                              wrote sidst redigeret af
                              #84
                              @vkc
                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • alex02@elonsucks.orgA alex02@elonsucks.org

                                @vkc no it is not and quite frankly your response is quite obnoxious. If we can't talk about problems collectively on this shithole platform and only talk about one thing at a time than it becomes loose islands among the rest of the sewage, but fine whatever. Thank you for proving my point about how hostile this place is becoming with all you morons whining, but yet do this type of shit. Anyways, enjoy the block. I generally don't care.

                                gavinisdie@masto.aiG This user is from outside of this forum
                                gavinisdie@masto.aiG This user is from outside of this forum
                                gavinisdie@masto.ai
                                wrote sidst redigeret af
                                #85

                                @alex02 @vkc what are you even on about 😭

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                  Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                                  Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                                  chiraag@mastodon.onlineC This user is from outside of this forum
                                  chiraag@mastodon.onlineC This user is from outside of this forum
                                  chiraag@mastodon.online
                                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                                  #86

                                  @vkc Goddammit. Men suck (as a man).

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • aprazeth@mstdn.socialA aprazeth@mstdn.social

                                    @moondog548 @alice @vkc

                                    There are differing styles of communication and personalities to take into account, so don't necessarily use these as-is. Adapt to your situation/style/personality

                                    Some examples to get started (for the edgy remark retorts)

                                    - Not cool dude
                                    - that's fucked up
                                    - ask them to explain what they meant, make them explain their "edgy" stuff

                                    But above all, be the better example. Support women, POC, LGBTQ, and *believe them* when they call out stuff

                                    aprazeth@mstdn.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
                                    aprazeth@mstdn.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
                                    aprazeth@mstdn.social
                                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                                    #87

                                    @moondog548 @alice @vkc

                                    And keep in mind: some men will just be monsters. No amount of social pressure or calling out will work on them as they keep making those remarks

                                    In those instances - ostracize them from your life, and warn others. Do not accept them as "quirky but harmless". Because it will escalate, and will draw in others. That will prompt "but he says it, and it's accepted so I should be able to say it as well"

                                    > Silence now is implied endorsement later.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • moondog548@nerdculture.deM moondog548@nerdculture.de

                                      @Aprazeth
                                      This is a huge opportunity. We need to learn *and teach eachother* how to call our brothers in when they're out of line.

                                      We need to know what to do and make it a reflex!
                                      @alice @vkc

                                      aprazeth@mstdn.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
                                      aprazeth@mstdn.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
                                      aprazeth@mstdn.social
                                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                                      #88

                                      @moondog548 @alice @vkc

                                      There are differing styles of communication and personalities to take into account, so don't necessarily use these as-is. Adapt to your situation/style/personality

                                      Some examples to get started (for the edgy remark retorts)

                                      - Not cool dude
                                      - that's fucked up
                                      - ask them to explain what they meant, make them explain their "edgy" stuff

                                      But above all, be the better example. Support women, POC, LGBTQ, and *believe them* when they call out stuff

                                      aprazeth@mstdn.socialA 1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                        Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                                        Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                                        pacavegano@friendica.odonian.orgP This user is from outside of this forum
                                        pacavegano@friendica.odonian.orgP This user is from outside of this forum
                                        pacavegano@friendica.odonian.org
                                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                                        #89

                                        @vkc I’m very sorry to hear this. Just this morning I watched your videos on installing Linux on Chromebooks and comparing standard Mint to Debian Mint (loved the visual REM reference, btw). And a few days ago your video about installing Linux on M1 Macs inspired me to do just that.

                                        You’re doing great work, and I really appreciate you being on PeerTube. Thanks much!

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                          Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                                          Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                                          lexinova@cyberplace.socialL This user is from outside of this forum
                                          lexinova@cyberplace.socialL This user is from outside of this forum
                                          lexinova@cyberplace.social
                                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                                          #90

                                          @vkc had some best way not engage ignore block report.

                                          if you engage, you already lost.

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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