Oh my god, these are real, actual slides from a SoftBank presentation.

[annaspanner@bookstodon.com]

@dev @freakazoid @Tiempo
Brain crush @blursedtexts

[annaspanner@bookstodon.com]

@DamonWakes @dev I will never jeopardise the beans

[thalia@discuss.systems]

@gooseliketyping FYI

[icing@chaos.social]

@srxl @dev @catsalad Geese can live up to 30 years domesticated, 10-20 years in the wild.

[fugueish@wandering.shop]

@regehr If it makes you feel any better, shareholder value = 3 eggs

[alpacamale@social.cologne]

@SnoopJ @regehr @dan @dev "Boomer brainrot" is the perfect description!

[anya@shrimp.acute.cat]

@dev i do love how the whole story remains the same if you replace "goose" with "lottery ticket"...

[bonkers@nerdculture.de]

@FaithfullJohn @dev the future is now

[starkrg@myside-yourside.net]

@nondailychickens @dev What a weird cat.

[twilliability@genart.social]

@dev paging @ludicity. you must seriously up your game after this.

[ozzelot@mstdn.social]

@dev
This one's also kind of a banger

[urixturing@hachyderm.io]

@dev why the conveyor belt? don't these people know how eggs are actually laid?

[hrefna@hachyderm.io]

@dev …is this a pro-unionization slide presentation?

[stuartmarks@mastodon.social]

@regehr @atsuzaki @dev Yeah weird. Fortunately my client cached the post. Here’s the link to the presentation:

https://group.softbank/media/Project/sbg/sbg/pdf/ir/investors/shareholders/2026/shareholders-meeting_46_05_en.pdf

Incomprehensible.

[mostlyblindgamer@dragonscave.space]

@SnoopJ @regehr @dan @dev the funny thing is this is actually an unintentionally good worker’s rights meme. It’s also a fever dream, but I that’s just saying the quiet part out loud.

[garbrys@dragonchat.org]

@dev It's a new flavor of deep fried humor

[ludicity@mastodon.sprawl.club]

@twilliability @dev I have no idea what the fuck to say about this

It was the goose that created the value

[gnate@ohai.social]

@SnoopJ Absent the power to keep laying eggs, the value of the goose becomes apparent over 4 hours or so around 300 degrees. @regehr @dan @dev

[tealeg@mastodon.online]

@dev Goose was not valued!

[twilliability@genart.social]

@ludicity i think this teaches me that having a certain amount of wealth relieves people of the need for self-respect