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  3. Someone announced in our class last week that men don't cry and for the first time in my life, I publicly hit back and said, "I do".

Someone announced in our class last week that men don't cry and for the first time in my life, I publicly hit back and said, "I do".

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  • josephmeyer@c.imJ josephmeyer@c.im

    @sjpurrs Serendipity. Early today, I told a sensitive neighbor who has been upset by a childish feud among adults in our neighborhood that I will sometime tell her my thoughts about parenting my challenging daughter. Doing so will make me cry, as it has before. I love my daughter a lot and think it is terribly unfair that she is burdened by her unchosen disabilities and lives in a country that will ignore her at best and at worst will judge her.

    sjpurrs@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
    sjpurrs@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
    sjpurrs@mastodon.social
    wrote sidst redigeret af
    #59

    @JosephMeyer If I were in your situation, I think I would cry regularly for the same reasons. It must be very difficult for both her and you and the tension that builds up needs release.

    1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • vfrmedia@social.tchncs.deV vfrmedia@social.tchncs.de

      @sjpurrs depends a lot on culture / nationality - even in 1990s (when I was working as a broadcast engineer for an electronics company which provided equipment to a lot of public service broadcasters worldwide) I learned it was normal for French men to cry during stressful times (due to defective equipment, and errors from France Télécom, and TBH I couldn't even blame them for crying). It was less common amongst Germans and British (but not entirely absent, I remember sportsball player Paul Gascoigne in 1990 because he got a yellow card at the World Cup and it was viewed as a cultural sign that it was OK for British men to cry if they wanted to..)

      mwt@mastodon.nzM This user is from outside of this forum
      mwt@mastodon.nzM This user is from outside of this forum
      mwt@mastodon.nz
      wrote sidst redigeret af
      #60

      @vfrmedia @sjpurrs if you watch Asian movies/TV shows, men cry all the time and it isn't weird.

      sjpurrs@mastodon.socialS 1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • mwt@mastodon.nzM mwt@mastodon.nz

        @vfrmedia @sjpurrs if you watch Asian movies/TV shows, men cry all the time and it isn't weird.

        sjpurrs@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
        sjpurrs@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
        sjpurrs@mastodon.social
        wrote sidst redigeret af
        #61

        @mwt @vfrmedia Yes, I've noticed that. It's refreshing to see.

        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • sjpurrs@mastodon.socialS sjpurrs@mastodon.social

          Someone announced in our class last week that men don't cry and for the first time in my life, I publicly hit back and said, "I do". Many in the class were shocked and didn't believe me, so I explained how I've always cried. When I was young, it was secretly but as an adult, I cry when emotion overwhelms me. I don't see it as a sign of weakness anymore. I think it's a sign of strength to accept what your body needs to do and I feel much better afterwards.

          megatronicthronbanks@mastodon.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
          megatronicthronbanks@mastodon.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
          megatronicthronbanks@mastodon.social
          wrote sidst redigeret af
          #62

          @sjpurrs A lot of women still say they don't like seeing men cry, which shows you how far down the Patriarchy has ingrained this shit.

          truenorthspice@mastodon.worldT 1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • sjpurrs@mastodon.socialS sjpurrs@mastodon.social

            Someone announced in our class last week that men don't cry and for the first time in my life, I publicly hit back and said, "I do". Many in the class were shocked and didn't believe me, so I explained how I've always cried. When I was young, it was secretly but as an adult, I cry when emotion overwhelms me. I don't see it as a sign of weakness anymore. I think it's a sign of strength to accept what your body needs to do and I feel much better afterwards.

            reallylazybear@pawb.funR This user is from outside of this forum
            reallylazybear@pawb.funR This user is from outside of this forum
            reallylazybear@pawb.fun
            wrote sidst redigeret af
            #63

            @sjpurrs I just cry whenever I want. I don't see a problem with it

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • noelnatasha@mastodon.socialN noelnatasha@mastodon.social

              @sjpurrs Real strength isn’t hiding your emotions; it’s having the courage to own them. ❤️

              truenorthspice@mastodon.worldT This user is from outside of this forum
              truenorthspice@mastodon.worldT This user is from outside of this forum
              truenorthspice@mastodon.world
              wrote sidst redigeret af
              #64

              @noelnatasha @sjpurrs
              💯

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • sfringer@mastodon.socialS sfringer@mastodon.social

                @sjpurrs I got made fun of for crying when I was young (decades ago) I've carried that stigma my whole life. I do, finally, have moments where I can let out escape. Thank you for sharing your experience and stance.

                truenorthspice@mastodon.worldT This user is from outside of this forum
                truenorthspice@mastodon.worldT This user is from outside of this forum
                truenorthspice@mastodon.world
                wrote sidst redigeret af
                #65

                @sfringer @sjpurrs

                🫂

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • truenorthspice@mastodon.worldT This user is from outside of this forum
                  truenorthspice@mastodon.worldT This user is from outside of this forum
                  truenorthspice@mastodon.world
                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                  #66

                  @coleablank @sjpurrs
                  💯

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • megatronicthronbanks@mastodon.socialM megatronicthronbanks@mastodon.social

                    @sjpurrs A lot of women still say they don't like seeing men cry, which shows you how far down the Patriarchy has ingrained this shit.

                    truenorthspice@mastodon.worldT This user is from outside of this forum
                    truenorthspice@mastodon.worldT This user is from outside of this forum
                    truenorthspice@mastodon.world
                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                    #67

                    @megatronicthronbanks @sjpurrs

                    🤔 That might be your experience but mine is the opposite 👵 I've only heard women say "I want and need men to express their feelings, including crying. "

                    megatronicthronbanks@mastodon.socialM 1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • D deepmud@mas.to

                      @sjpurrs good for you! It's really important that men get to use the full complement of emotions. Men do not have different emotions than women. Men have been oppressed by the toxic masculinity thing just as much as women

                      ? Offline
                      ? Offline
                      Gæst
                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                      #68

                      @deepmud @sjpurrs yeah I agree with you. Its not the same but men suffer because of sexism and sexism against women as well. We should all just be nicer to one another, dunno why thats so difficult 🤷‍♂️

                      D 1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • truenorthspice@mastodon.worldT truenorthspice@mastodon.world

                        @megatronicthronbanks @sjpurrs

                        🤔 That might be your experience but mine is the opposite 👵 I've only heard women say "I want and need men to express their feelings, including crying. "

                        megatronicthronbanks@mastodon.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
                        megatronicthronbanks@mastodon.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
                        megatronicthronbanks@mastodon.social
                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                        #69

                        @TrueNorthSpice @sjpurrs Good. I guess?

                        truenorthspice@mastodon.worldT 1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • megatronicthronbanks@mastodon.socialM megatronicthronbanks@mastodon.social

                          @TrueNorthSpice @sjpurrs Good. I guess?

                          truenorthspice@mastodon.worldT This user is from outside of this forum
                          truenorthspice@mastodon.worldT This user is from outside of this forum
                          truenorthspice@mastodon.world
                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                          #70

                          @megatronicthronbanks @sjpurrs

                          I believe it is. .. but I'm a woman so of course I am biased.

                          btw... being raised to believe crying is shameful is not experienced by only men.

                          copharynx@sfba.socialC 1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • sjpurrs@mastodon.socialS sjpurrs@mastodon.social

                            Someone announced in our class last week that men don't cry and for the first time in my life, I publicly hit back and said, "I do". Many in the class were shocked and didn't believe me, so I explained how I've always cried. When I was young, it was secretly but as an adult, I cry when emotion overwhelms me. I don't see it as a sign of weakness anymore. I think it's a sign of strength to accept what your body needs to do and I feel much better afterwards.

                            mooseandriosmom@mindly.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
                            mooseandriosmom@mindly.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
                            mooseandriosmom@mindly.social
                            wrote sidst redigeret af
                            #71

                            @sjpurrs men do cry. I have seen proof of it when we had to put 2 dogs to sleep in the years that I have been married to my husband.

                            sjpurrs@mastodon.socialS 1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • pentup@kinkycats.orgP pentup@kinkycats.org

                              @sjpurrs We need to start giving "men don't cry" the same reaction as "women don't fart".

                              kats@chaosfem.twK This user is from outside of this forum
                              kats@chaosfem.twK This user is from outside of this forum
                              kats@chaosfem.tw
                              wrote sidst redigeret af
                              #72

                              @PentUp @sjpurrs Looking the speaker in the eye and farting loudly does seem like a perfect response, yes.

                              pentup@kinkycats.orgP 1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • kats@chaosfem.twK kats@chaosfem.tw

                                @PentUp @sjpurrs Looking the speaker in the eye and farting loudly does seem like a perfect response, yes.

                                pentup@kinkycats.orgP This user is from outside of this forum
                                pentup@kinkycats.orgP This user is from outside of this forum
                                pentup@kinkycats.org
                                wrote sidst redigeret af
                                #73

                                @KatS @sjpurrs I'm not sure it really works the same if I do that, but I'm willing to give it a try!

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • mooseandriosmom@mindly.socialM mooseandriosmom@mindly.social

                                  @sjpurrs men do cry. I have seen proof of it when we had to put 2 dogs to sleep in the years that I have been married to my husband.

                                  sjpurrs@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                  sjpurrs@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                  sjpurrs@mastodon.social
                                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                                  #74

                                  @mooseandriosmom Yes, that would definitely do it. Pet loss is very hard to accept for all of us. I still talk to my cat that died over 3 years ago. She was the glue in our family and was just adored. I tearing up just writing this.

                                  mooseandriosmom@mindly.socialM 1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • noelnatasha@mastodon.socialN noelnatasha@mastodon.social

                                    @sjpurrs Real strength isn’t hiding your emotions; it’s having the courage to own them. ❤️

                                    sjpurrs@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                    sjpurrs@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                    sjpurrs@mastodon.social
                                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                                    #75

                                    @noelnatasha That is such an accurate assessment. Our emotions are there for a reason.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • sjpurrs@mastodon.socialS sjpurrs@mastodon.social

                                      @mooseandriosmom Yes, that would definitely do it. Pet loss is very hard to accept for all of us. I still talk to my cat that died over 3 years ago. She was the glue in our family and was just adored. I tearing up just writing this.

                                      mooseandriosmom@mindly.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
                                      mooseandriosmom@mindly.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
                                      mooseandriosmom@mindly.social
                                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                                      #76

                                      @sjpurrs I'm so sorry for the loss of your kitty. I still talk to Moose and sometimes Sammie. Moose has been gone almost 2 years and Sammie 11 years.

                                      sjpurrs@mastodon.socialS 1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • mooseandriosmom@mindly.socialM mooseandriosmom@mindly.social

                                        @sjpurrs I'm so sorry for the loss of your kitty. I still talk to Moose and sometimes Sammie. Moose has been gone almost 2 years and Sammie 11 years.

                                        sjpurrs@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                        sjpurrs@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                        sjpurrs@mastodon.social
                                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                                        #77

                                        @mooseandriosmom Thanks. It was a long time ago so I shouldn't be so mushy about it but it's nice to know I'm not alone in my attachment to pets. Moose and Sammie must have been very special.

                                        mooseandriosmom@mindly.socialM 1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • sjpurrs@mastodon.socialS sjpurrs@mastodon.social

                                          @mooseandriosmom Thanks. It was a long time ago so I shouldn't be so mushy about it but it's nice to know I'm not alone in my attachment to pets. Moose and Sammie must have been very special.

                                          mooseandriosmom@mindly.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
                                          mooseandriosmom@mindly.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
                                          mooseandriosmom@mindly.social
                                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                                          #78

                                          @sjpurrs they were.

                                          1 Reply Last reply
                                          0
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