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  3. Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

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  • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

    Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

    Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

    carloshr@lile.clC This user is from outside of this forum
    carloshr@lile.clC This user is from outside of this forum
    carloshr@lile.cl
    wrote sidst redigeret af
    #67

    @vkc @Nickiquote fuck that guys! I consider necessary to expose them but even more important is ton promote a culture where that behaviour is never accepted.

    1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • semitones@tiny.tilde.websiteS semitones@tiny.tilde.website

      @alice I think a lot of guys could also benefit from reading your "sucker punch" post about open registration and moderation. It def opened my eyes so how others are treated on here and elsewhere...

      https://lgbtqia.space/@alice/115499829288185416

      @vkc

      duckwhistle@mastodon.org.ukD This user is from outside of this forum
      duckwhistle@mastodon.org.ukD This user is from outside of this forum
      duckwhistle@mastodon.org.uk
      wrote sidst redigeret af
      #68

      @semitones @alice @vkc
      made me take notice too!

      1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • regguy@mstdn.socialR regguy@mstdn.social

        @mloxton Matthew, I agree with you, we need to deal with it. But to be quite frank, I rarely see it. Not that I'm not looking, rather it's ususally beyond what is in my feed, and therefore I can't respond. I suggest we broadcast, or perhaps create a list that can be used and these women can PM that list with what's happening. I'd be happy to help, but I don't see it, thus I can't help. @bob @vkc

        mloxton@med-mastodon.comM This user is from outside of this forum
        mloxton@med-mastodon.comM This user is from outside of this forum
        mloxton@med-mastodon.com
        wrote sidst redigeret af
        #69

        @RegGuy

        I hear you, and the same situation exists wrt racism. People of color say they get a ton of racist interactions, but I don't see it, so don't respond.

        I think three things are going on:
        1. There are things that *I* don't perceive as racist/sexist, but are experienced as such by the target. That bc the perpetrator is modulating to escape detection
        2. There are things that I haven't realized are racist and sexist, and I need to educate myself
        3. I am not in those environments
        @bob @vkc

        regguy@mstdn.socialR sri@mastodon.socialS 2 Replies Last reply
        0
        • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

          Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

          Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

          stux@mstdn.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
          stux@mstdn.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
          stux@mstdn.social
          wrote sidst redigeret af
          #70

          @vkc Very sorry this happened! ❤️

          Unfort it does matter on what instance one is since the blocklists are tied to instances and not federated

          There is a very dark corner in the Fedi and those domains should be blocked on instance level by default

          We started out with a long list, after 6 years its only gotten longer and longer but its needed, very much

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

            Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

            Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

            troglet@mastodon.socialT This user is from outside of this forum
            troglet@mastodon.socialT This user is from outside of this forum
            troglet@mastodon.social
            wrote sidst redigeret af
            #71

            @vkc Well, that's disappointing. Sorry you had to do that. I do what I can when I see it, but of course I'm only one person.

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

              Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

              Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

              kimlockhartga@beige.partyK This user is from outside of this forum
              kimlockhartga@beige.partyK This user is from outside of this forum
              kimlockhartga@beige.party
              wrote sidst redigeret af
              #72

              @vkc oh JFC. I am sorry.

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • byrnensorg@mastodon.ieB byrnensorg@mastodon.ie

                @alice @vkc I have noticed today in multiple threads that there's a lot of anger out there and dare I say it, twittification, it's as if mastodon is morphing before our very eyes.

                alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                alice@lgbtqia.space
                wrote sidst redigeret af
                #73

                @byrnensorg there's good reason for a lot of anger at some things. The problems have always been here too, but due to active moderation and the nature of federation, it can be less visible (except to the people who get sucker-punched).

                Also, the only way we keep Fedi from becoming Twitter is by believing the victims instead of the trolls.

                @vkc

                byrnensorg@mastodon.ieB 1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • mloxton@med-mastodon.comM mloxton@med-mastodon.com

                  @RegGuy

                  I hear you, and the same situation exists wrt racism. People of color say they get a ton of racist interactions, but I don't see it, so don't respond.

                  I think three things are going on:
                  1. There are things that *I* don't perceive as racist/sexist, but are experienced as such by the target. That bc the perpetrator is modulating to escape detection
                  2. There are things that I haven't realized are racist and sexist, and I need to educate myself
                  3. I am not in those environments
                  @bob @vkc

                  regguy@mstdn.socialR This user is from outside of this forum
                  regguy@mstdn.socialR This user is from outside of this forum
                  regguy@mstdn.social
                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                  #74

                  @mloxton There is an excellent book, "How to Be an Antiracist," by Ibram X. Kendi. Sexism has become a more difficult thing, as in some cases, it's in the eye of the recipient. I take anything like a slight only because they are the opposite sex to be sexism; that goes both ways. I think there is a lot of overt sexism that's easy to spot. If someone is harassing another, that's not necessarily sexism, but certainly harassment, and occurs more toward women than men, to be sure. @bob @vkc

                  mloxton@med-mastodon.comM 1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                    Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                    Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                    lastrobot@writing.exchangeL This user is from outside of this forum
                    lastrobot@writing.exchangeL This user is from outside of this forum
                    lastrobot@writing.exchange
                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                    #75

                    @vkc Very sorry to hear you are experiencing this. It's not ok. 🌞

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                      Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                      Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                      scaro@mamot.frS This user is from outside of this forum
                      scaro@mamot.frS This user is from outside of this forum
                      scaro@mamot.fr
                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                      #76

                      @vkc +1000000

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                        @byrnensorg there's good reason for a lot of anger at some things. The problems have always been here too, but due to active moderation and the nature of federation, it can be less visible (except to the people who get sucker-punched).

                        Also, the only way we keep Fedi from becoming Twitter is by believing the victims instead of the trolls.

                        @vkc

                        byrnensorg@mastodon.ieB This user is from outside of this forum
                        byrnensorg@mastodon.ieB This user is from outside of this forum
                        byrnensorg@mastodon.ie
                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                        #77

                        @alice @vkc There was some threads this week that could've benefitted from an angry dome.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                          Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                          Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                          linuxandyarn@hachyderm.ioL This user is from outside of this forum
                          linuxandyarn@hachyderm.ioL This user is from outside of this forum
                          linuxandyarn@hachyderm.io
                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                          #78

                          @vkc Hugs if you want them, a nod if you don't. Sorry you had to endure that bullshit again.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                            Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                            Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                            steggy@sunny.gardenS This user is from outside of this forum
                            steggy@sunny.gardenS This user is from outside of this forum
                            steggy@sunny.garden
                            wrote sidst redigeret af
                            #79

                            @vkc I will never understand why some people just love to be shitheads.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                              @semitones thanks for bringing that up 🩷 seems like a good time to boost that post again.

                              @vkc

                              steggy@sunny.gardenS This user is from outside of this forum
                              steggy@sunny.gardenS This user is from outside of this forum
                              steggy@sunny.garden
                              wrote sidst redigeret af
                              #80

                              @alice @semitones @vkc I think that is the post I saw that made me want to follow you, Alice!

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                                Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                                gavinisdie@masto.aiG This user is from outside of this forum
                                gavinisdie@masto.aiG This user is from outside of this forum
                                gavinisdie@masto.ai
                                wrote sidst redigeret af
                                #81

                                @vkc is it coming from the same server? If so, i'd make a #fediblock post

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • regguy@mstdn.socialR regguy@mstdn.social

                                  @mloxton There is an excellent book, "How to Be an Antiracist," by Ibram X. Kendi. Sexism has become a more difficult thing, as in some cases, it's in the eye of the recipient. I take anything like a slight only because they are the opposite sex to be sexism; that goes both ways. I think there is a lot of overt sexism that's easy to spot. If someone is harassing another, that's not necessarily sexism, but certainly harassment, and occurs more toward women than men, to be sure. @bob @vkc

                                  mloxton@med-mastodon.comM This user is from outside of this forum
                                  mloxton@med-mastodon.comM This user is from outside of this forum
                                  mloxton@med-mastodon.com
                                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                                  #82

                                  @RegGuy
                                  At risk of flooding out Veronica's voice here (a real risk and also sexism), yeah, the overt "hey you b*tch" stuff is easy to spot.
                                  More difficult is the coded stuff. Using innocent words to highlight "feminine" vs "masculine" aspects
                                  Even more difficult is noticing undue focus, undue exclusion, and seemingly automatic assumptions that a woman should be more caring or gentle, or be the default peacemaker, etc.

                                  It takes a lot of work, persistence, and attention

                                  @bob @vkc

                                  bob@beamship.mpaq.orgB 1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • moondog548@nerdculture.deM moondog548@nerdculture.de

                                    @Aprazeth
                                    This is a huge opportunity. We need to learn *and teach eachother* how to call our brothers in when they're out of line.

                                    We need to know what to do and make it a reflex!
                                    @alice @vkc

                                    alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                                    alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                                    alice@lgbtqia.space
                                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                                    #83

                                    @moondog548 as one of their peers, you can have a huge impact on toxic behavior in 3-5 simple words:

                                    "Dude, not cool."
                                    "What the fuck, man?"
                                    "Hey, that was fucked up."

                                    Pick whatever variation works best for your peer group, and snap back with it as soon as the bullshit leaves their mouth. Be upset and make it uncomfortable for a moment. Don't let them brush it off as a joke.

                                    @Aprazeth @vkc

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                      Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                                      Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                                      dj@parcero.casaD This user is from outside of this forum
                                      dj@parcero.casaD This user is from outside of this forum
                                      dj@parcero.casa
                                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                                      #84
                                      @vkc
                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • alex02@elonsucks.orgA alex02@elonsucks.org

                                        @vkc no it is not and quite frankly your response is quite obnoxious. If we can't talk about problems collectively on this shithole platform and only talk about one thing at a time than it becomes loose islands among the rest of the sewage, but fine whatever. Thank you for proving my point about how hostile this place is becoming with all you morons whining, but yet do this type of shit. Anyways, enjoy the block. I generally don't care.

                                        gavinisdie@masto.aiG This user is from outside of this forum
                                        gavinisdie@masto.aiG This user is from outside of this forum
                                        gavinisdie@masto.ai
                                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                                        #85

                                        @alex02 @vkc what are you even on about 😭

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                          Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                                          Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                                          chiraag@mastodon.onlineC This user is from outside of this forum
                                          chiraag@mastodon.onlineC This user is from outside of this forum
                                          chiraag@mastodon.online
                                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                                          #86

                                          @vkc Goddammit. Men suck (as a man).

                                          1 Reply Last reply
                                          0
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