The idea for this poll came from a recent conversation with my spouse.
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@lydiaschoch With my most significant relationship,I spent hours and even days working with him, and socializing with him for months but it wasn't til we went to a movie together and he put his arm over my shoulders that it dawned on me that he liked me haha
@3x10to8mps this should be a scene in a romance film. It’s so wholesome.
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@hollie @lydiaschoch All of this! When I presented as a woman, I had no qualms about sharing stuff like this, and my intentions would be misunderstood (in that they thought I had them, and I didn’t, because to me the human body is no different from a beautiful sculpture); now that I present as a man, I have to be careful again because the same words uttered by a man are (can be perceived as) creepy.
Either way, I’m always doing a mental pee-pee dance of unexpressed compliments.
@nik as an autistic transmasc person, i relate. i almost never compliment women or nonbinary people in my new incarnation as compared to when i was in my old one. don't wanna be perceived as a creep. and yes i'm terrible at recognizing when someone has a crush on me 🫣
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@hollie @lydiaschoch All of this! When I presented as a woman, I had no qualms about sharing stuff like this, and my intentions would be misunderstood (in that they thought I had them, and I didn’t, because to me the human body is no different from a beautiful sculpture); now that I present as a man, I have to be careful again because the same words uttered by a man are (can be perceived as) creepy.
Either way, I’m always doing a mental pee-pee dance of unexpressed compliments.
@nik @hollie @lydiaschoch Mental pee pee dance is my life about everything I say as someone with ADHD. I leak a lot though.
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The idea for this poll came from a recent conversation with my spouse.
In the past, they’ve generally been able to tell when someone has a crush on them, but as a friendly person myself I have a history of thinking others are just being friendly and sociable, too.
Sometimes I realized what was actually happening years later.
Can you tell when someone has a crush on you?
Boosts are warmly welcomed.
@lydiaschoch Not often. I think it's my ADHD. I can see it when it's someone else. ("Bro, she's totally into you.")
My theory is that when I'm observing, I see little hints and patterns easily, but when I'm interacting directly, I'm paying so much attention to trying to hear what they're saying, think of how to respond, etc, that my brain's too busy to notice the other stuff.
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The idea for this poll came from a recent conversation with my spouse.
In the past, they’ve generally been able to tell when someone has a crush on them, but as a friendly person myself I have a history of thinking others are just being friendly and sociable, too.
Sometimes I realized what was actually happening years later.
Can you tell when someone has a crush on you?
Boosts are warmly welcomed.
@lydiaschoch I'm not sure whether my answer should be Yes, No, or Other under the strong presumption no one has ever had a crush on me.
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The idea for this poll came from a recent conversation with my spouse.
In the past, they’ve generally been able to tell when someone has a crush on them, but as a friendly person myself I have a history of thinking others are just being friendly and sociable, too.
Sometimes I realized what was actually happening years later.
Can you tell when someone has a crush on you?
Boosts are warmly welcomed.
@lydiaschoch No. I can't tell unless I'm told.
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@pawpower@beige.party @lydiaschoch@mastodon.social Not that I've been asked, but I would've unintentionally turned them down. "No thanks, I don't drink coffee."
@byakuroku
I've worried about doing that because I also don't drink coffee.
@lydiaschoch @pawpower -
The idea for this poll came from a recent conversation with my spouse.
In the past, they’ve generally been able to tell when someone has a crush on them, but as a friendly person myself I have a history of thinking others are just being friendly and sociable, too.
Sometimes I realized what was actually happening years later.
Can you tell when someone has a crush on you?
Boosts are warmly welcomed.
@lydiaschoch
I don't have any particular evidence that anyone has ever had a crush on me -
The idea for this poll came from a recent conversation with my spouse.
In the past, they’ve generally been able to tell when someone has a crush on them, but as a friendly person myself I have a history of thinking others are just being friendly and sociable, too.
Sometimes I realized what was actually happening years later.
Can you tell when someone has a crush on you?
Boosts are warmly welcomed.
@lydiaschoch No, apart from one crazy, obvious pseudo stalker which is cheating, really.
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@lydiaschoch I'm so oblivious i can't even tell when someone asks me on a date unless they say the word date. I have shown up to dates before where someone said "Hey you wanna meet for a coffee?" And I said sure and drug a friend along because in my mind I love introducing cool people to one another and we could have an interesting time... No! That was supposed to be a date! Ack! My bad!
@pawpower @lydiaschoch Fuck! That’s just the kind of thing I’d do.
[UPDATE] Something I’ve probably done a million times. Ah well, fuck it.
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The idea for this poll came from a recent conversation with my spouse.
In the past, they’ve generally been able to tell when someone has a crush on them, but as a friendly person myself I have a history of thinking others are just being friendly and sociable, too.
Sometimes I realized what was actually happening years later.
Can you tell when someone has a crush on you?
Boosts are warmly welcomed.
@lydiaschoch Mastodon skews towards neurodivergence, I think, and we tend not to be able to tell. I can only figure it out literal decades later.
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The idea for this poll came from a recent conversation with my spouse.
In the past, they’ve generally been able to tell when someone has a crush on them, but as a friendly person myself I have a history of thinking others are just being friendly and sociable, too.
Sometimes I realized what was actually happening years later.
Can you tell when someone has a crush on you?
Boosts are warmly welcomed.
@lydiaschoch I would say most of the time yes. It’s rare I’m not aware.
I find guys who have “crushes”, also have expectations of me giving them a signal I’m interested, when usually they say nothing, not even interested in getting to know me, or letting me getting to know them, so I’m just supposed to go on surface and have desire for a facade as they do, show interest based on nothing. Putting in no effort. Trying to get my attention without paying any attention to me, gives me the ick. -
The idea for this poll came from a recent conversation with my spouse.
In the past, they’ve generally been able to tell when someone has a crush on them, but as a friendly person myself I have a history of thinking others are just being friendly and sociable, too.
Sometimes I realized what was actually happening years later.
Can you tell when someone has a crush on you?
Boosts are warmly welcomed.
@lydiaschoch Someone basically is going to have to smack me and tell me if they want me to know they have a crush on me.
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The idea for this poll came from a recent conversation with my spouse.
In the past, they’ve generally been able to tell when someone has a crush on them, but as a friendly person myself I have a history of thinking others are just being friendly and sociable, too.
Sometimes I realized what was actually happening years later.
Can you tell when someone has a crush on you?
Boosts are warmly welcomed.
The last time I was even aware of someone having a crush on me was about 30 years ago.
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The idea for this poll came from a recent conversation with my spouse.
In the past, they’ve generally been able to tell when someone has a crush on them, but as a friendly person myself I have a history of thinking others are just being friendly and sociable, too.
Sometimes I realized what was actually happening years later.
Can you tell when someone has a crush on you?
Boosts are warmly welcomed.
@lydiaschoch It's a sense you gain with time. I used to be quite daft about it, but after spending more time just socializing with people I learned how to tell. Though as of yet there is still no cure for blushing when I sense someone's crush on me.
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@lydiaschoch It's a sense you gain with time. I used to be quite daft about it, but after spending more time just socializing with people I learned how to tell. Though as of yet there is still no cure for blushing when I sense someone's crush on me.
@fluffy_fox Can you describe some of the things people do or say that would tip you off that this was happening?
I’m better at noticing such things now than I used to be, but I still don’t always catch them.
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@fluffy_fox Can you describe some of the things people do or say that would tip you off that this was happening?
I’m better at noticing such things now than I used to be, but I still don’t always catch them.
@lydiaschoch It can change from person to person, it's all in their love language, but usually it's quite a subtly shown emotion in how they pull their words, word choices, how their eyes look at you, or even things they choose to pay attention to regarding you. Usually it's far easier to see once you get to know a person better through passing conversion, but for spotting it on the fly a good rule of thumb can be keeping an eye out for softer looks in the eyes as well as actions or attempts at conversation which try to lead you to pay more attention or to have your mind linger on the person in question. It's not always the case that these will be crushes, but they're a nice tip off which can allow you to further conversation and learn more about the person to be able to tell for certain.
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The idea for this poll came from a recent conversation with my spouse.
In the past, they’ve generally been able to tell when someone has a crush on them, but as a friendly person myself I have a history of thinking others are just being friendly and sociable, too.
Sometimes I realized what was actually happening years later.
Can you tell when someone has a crush on you?
Boosts are warmly welcomed.
@lydiaschoch
I sometimes can. But I do remember going into a store and being waited on by one of the most awkward cashiers I'd ever met then meeting the same guy years later with my now husband and he was perfectly sociable... I realized he'd been trying to flirt the first time around
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@lydiaschoch
I sometimes can. But I do remember going into a store and being waited on by one of the most awkward cashiers I'd ever met then meeting the same guy years later with my now husband and he was perfectly sociable... I realized he'd been trying to flirt the first time around@cshlan I love this story. Thank you for sharing. I hope he eventually found his person.
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@cshlan I love this story. Thank you for sharing. I hope he eventually found his person.
@lydiaschoch
I'm pretty sure he did!
