This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...
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@suzannealdrich @benroyce @slothrop @sandorspruit @Sassinake @alice I learned about the poop knife recently.
With that being said, I would like to get an actual bidet, not just the attachment you add to a regular toilet.
@macacator @suzannealdrich @slothrop @sandorspruit @Sassinake @alice
the toilet attachment is easy and cheap
a whole damn bidet means big $$$ and it assumes you have a massive bathroom
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This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...
- boob wash
- water-park ride
- options menu
- multiplayer select- volume control
- channel selector
- smoking instructions?I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.
@alice I will admit, I always wanted one of those. Toilets, I mean.
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This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...
- boob wash
- water-park ride
- options menu
- multiplayer select- volume control
- channel selector
- smoking instructions?I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.
@alice@lgbtqia.space uh nice it even got the "we're not in Kansas anymore" aka "follow the yellow piss road" mode on the Toto button
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@suzannealdrich @benroyce @slothrop @sandorspruit @Sassinake @alice I learned about the poop knife recently.
With that being said, I would like to get an actual bidet, not just the attachment you add to a regular toilet.
@macacator wait, hol' up...poop knife?
You can't just drop that deuce and walk away without an explanation!
@suzannealdrich @benroyce @slothrop @sandorspruit @Sassinake
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@alice I will admit, I always wanted one of those. Toilets, I mean.
@thepurpleoctopus as someone who grew up with an outhouse, I can highly recommend indoor plumbing.
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@thepurpleoctopus as someone who grew up with an outhouse, I can highly recommend indoor plumbing.
@alice Got me there. But I mean specifically one of these fancy ones.
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@alice I think volume control relates to pressure. The louder you set it, the more likely it is to jet wash your arsehole in two.
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This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...
- boob wash
- water-park ride
- options menu
- multiplayer select- volume control
- channel selector
- smoking instructions?I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.
@alice Thank you for turning this example of "universally-understandable iconography that averts language issues" into such a fun post!
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This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...
- boob wash
- water-park ride
- options menu
- multiplayer select- volume control
- channel selector
- smoking instructions?I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.
…at my times we had only three shells …!
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This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...
- boob wash
- water-park ride
- options menu
- multiplayer select- volume control
- channel selector
- smoking instructions?I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.
@alice That is a nice simple control panel you have there. First trip to Tokyo, there were 3 control panels, it felt like piloting a 747...
Took a couple of days to work out all the options. -
@macacator wait, hol' up...poop knife?
You can't just drop that deuce and walk away without an explanation!
@suzannealdrich @benroyce @slothrop @sandorspruit @Sassinake
@alice @suzannealdrich @benroyce @slothrop @sandorspruit @Sassinake sometimes, when you ate one too many potatoes, your body will churn out a recycled burrito the size of a Sam's club sausage. You look at it in its unbroken abomination and wonder how you're going to flush that bad boy.
/the poop knife has entered the chat
You grab that knife, reach on down there and turn that sausage log into a sushi roll with a few swift chops. Now you can safely flush using that bucket you poured earlier.
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Well, my disgust/apprehension is moot anyway.
We don't have them in Canada, and it doesn't look like I'll be travelling anytime soon...
@Sassinake @alice
This one is fifty loonies. It doesn't heat the water or noth'n, but it's a start and you can take it with you when you move.https://www.amazon.ca/PIKETS-butt-fountain/dp/B09QPDWXWC?affiliate_id=nah+this+is+fedi+lmao
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@ColesStreetPothole @Sassinake @alice
you're both right
1. it's easier and cheaper than ever before to install a bidet on your toilet
2. bidets are until very recently associated with the class divide
@benroyce @ColesStreetPothole @Sassinake @alice
The best bidets need electrical power, for example to heat the water and to air dry. That’s the challenge for broad use, as most houses won’t have power outlets near a toilet. -
@macacator @suzannealdrich @slothrop @sandorspruit @Sassinake @alice
the toilet attachment is easy and cheap
a whole damn bidet means big $$$ and it assumes you have a massive bathroom
@benroyce @suzannealdrich @slothrop @sandorspruit @Sassinake @alice it's a luxury I want but can't afford because a white man with brain worms laid us all off. Like, just looked at that machine running fine and shit himself from all the impotent rage in his heart and said: "not on my watch. "
All I have left are dreams of getting my hairy ass washed after dropping off the browns to the spooper bowl.
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@benroyce @ColesStreetPothole @Sassinake @alice
The best bidets need electrical power, for example to heat the water and to air dry. That’s the challenge for broad use, as most houses won’t have power outlets near a toilet.@MrBirch @ColesStreetPothole @Sassinake @alice
good point
the plumbing seems relatively straightfoward. but the electric work is a next level
well, a shot of cold water up the bum would do wonders to wake you up in the morning
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@benroyce @suzannealdrich @slothrop @sandorspruit @Sassinake @alice it's a luxury I want but can't afford because a white man with brain worms laid us all off. Like, just looked at that machine running fine and shit himself from all the impotent rage in his heart and said: "not on my watch. "
All I have left are dreams of getting my hairy ass washed after dropping off the browns to the spooper bowl.
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@alice @suzannealdrich @benroyce @slothrop @sandorspruit @Sassinake sometimes, when you ate one too many potatoes, your body will churn out a recycled burrito the size of a Sam's club sausage. You look at it in its unbroken abomination and wonder how you're going to flush that bad boy.
/the poop knife has entered the chat
You grab that knife, reach on down there and turn that sausage log into a sushi roll with a few swift chops. Now you can safely flush using that bucket you poured earlier.
@macacator I am both fascinated and traumatized by this new knowledge.
@suzannealdrich @benroyce @slothrop @sandorspruit @Sassinake
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@AnachronistJohn @alice @nina_kali_nina now playing: "i took a shit in ibiza, to show Avicii i was cool [...]"
also, compilation of My Little Pony where it's just them saying fluttershy but shy get's replaced with shit.
also on the menu: perfectly cut fart sounds with grand canyon reverb effect
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@benroyce @suzannealdrich @slothrop @sandorspruit @Sassinake @alice it's a luxury I want but can't afford because a white man with brain worms laid us all off. Like, just looked at that machine running fine and shit himself from all the impotent rage in his heart and said: "not on my watch. "
All I have left are dreams of getting my hairy ass washed after dropping off the browns to the spooper bowl.
@macacator I never thought I'd be disappointed in a brain-worm's performance, but that's the timeline we live in now.
@benroyce @suzannealdrich @slothrop @sandorspruit @Sassinake
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@alice @cynthiarose @Sassinake
real men give themselves anal fissures!
show the poop who is boss!
if you're not wiping with sandpaper quality toilet paper you're WEAK!
(/s)
🥴
@benroyce @alice @cynthiarose @Sassinake
You're vacationing in russia? But theirs was mostly wood chips. . .
