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FARVEL BIG TECH
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  3. This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

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  • macacator@mastodon.socialM macacator@mastodon.social

    @benroyce @suzannealdrich @slothrop @sandorspruit @Sassinake @alice it's a luxury I want but can't afford because a white man with brain worms laid us all off. Like, just looked at that machine running fine and shit himself from all the impotent rage in his heart and said: "not on my watch. "

    All I have left are dreams of getting my hairy ass washed after dropping off the browns to the spooper bowl.

    benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
    benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
    benroyce@mastodon.social
    wrote sidst redigeret af
    #206

    @macacator @suzannealdrich @slothrop @sandorspruit @Sassinake @alice 😂

    1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • macacator@mastodon.socialM macacator@mastodon.social

      @alice @suzannealdrich @benroyce @slothrop @sandorspruit @Sassinake sometimes, when you ate one too many potatoes, your body will churn out a recycled burrito the size of a Sam's club sausage. You look at it in its unbroken abomination and wonder how you're going to flush that bad boy.

      /the poop knife has entered the chat

      You grab that knife, reach on down there and turn that sausage log into a sushi roll with a few swift chops. Now you can safely flush using that bucket you poured earlier.

      alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
      alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
      alice@lgbtqia.space
      wrote sidst redigeret af
      #207

      @macacator I am both fascinated and traumatized by this new knowledge.

      @suzannealdrich @benroyce @slothrop @sandorspruit @Sassinake

      1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • cimb4@norden.socialC This user is from outside of this forum
        cimb4@norden.socialC This user is from outside of this forum
        cimb4@norden.social
        wrote sidst redigeret af
        #208

        @AnachronistJohn @alice @nina_kali_nina now playing: "i took a shit in ibiza, to show Avicii i was cool [...]"

        also, compilation of My Little Pony where it's just them saying fluttershy but shy get's replaced with shit.

        also on the menu: perfectly cut fart sounds with grand canyon reverb effect

        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • macacator@mastodon.socialM macacator@mastodon.social

          @benroyce @suzannealdrich @slothrop @sandorspruit @Sassinake @alice it's a luxury I want but can't afford because a white man with brain worms laid us all off. Like, just looked at that machine running fine and shit himself from all the impotent rage in his heart and said: "not on my watch. "

          All I have left are dreams of getting my hairy ass washed after dropping off the browns to the spooper bowl.

          alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
          alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
          alice@lgbtqia.space
          wrote sidst redigeret af
          #209

          @macacator I never thought I'd be disappointed in a brain-worm's performance, but that's the timeline we live in now.

          @benroyce @suzannealdrich @slothrop @sandorspruit @Sassinake

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • benroyce@mastodon.socialB benroyce@mastodon.social

            @alice @cynthiarose @Sassinake

            real men give themselves anal fissures!

            show the poop who is boss!

            if you're not wiping with sandpaper quality toilet paper you're WEAK!

            (/s)

            🥴

            a_minion@mastodon.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
            a_minion@mastodon.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
            a_minion@mastodon.social
            wrote sidst redigeret af
            #210

            @benroyce @alice @cynthiarose @Sassinake

            You're vacationing in russia? But theirs was mostly wood chips. . .

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • petrillic@hachyderm.ioP petrillic@hachyderm.io

              @paul_ipv6 @alice but this was also when I discovered Akihabara and all the amazing little stalls selling just one kind of thing.

              Now you have to go to Shenzhen for that.

              oheso@ieji.deO This user is from outside of this forum
              oheso@ieji.deO This user is from outside of this forum
              oheso@ieji.de
              wrote sidst redigeret af
              #211

              @petrillic @paul_ipv6 @alice Yeah, I remember that Akihabara, too. Hardly go there now that it's changed. Not really into maid cafes.

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

                - boob wash
                - water-park ride
                - options menu
                - multiplayer select

                - volume control
                - channel selector
                - smoking instructions?

                I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.

                oheso@ieji.deO This user is from outside of this forum
                oheso@ieji.deO This user is from outside of this forum
                oheso@ieji.de
                wrote sidst redigeret af
                #212

                @alice World's least-conspicuous off button. Mine's got a big orange (?) button with a black square dot in the middle, under the legend æ­¢.

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                  This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

                  - boob wash
                  - water-park ride
                  - options menu
                  - multiplayer select

                  - volume control
                  - channel selector
                  - smoking instructions?

                  I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.

                  meowki@meowstodon.euM This user is from outside of this forum
                  meowki@meowstodon.euM This user is from outside of this forum
                  meowki@meowstodon.eu
                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                  #213

                  @alice I guess they just gave up on the description translation. Here’s the original version.

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • benroyce@mastodon.socialB benroyce@mastodon.social

                    @alice @cynthiarose @Sassinake

                    real men give themselves anal fissures!

                    show the poop who is boss!

                    if you're not wiping with sandpaper quality toilet paper you're WEAK!

                    (/s)

                    🥴

                    david@fouroclockfarms.clubD This user is from outside of this forum
                    david@fouroclockfarms.clubD This user is from outside of this forum
                    david@fouroclockfarms.club
                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                    #214

                    @benroyce @alice @cynthiarose @Sassinake

                    benroyce@mastodon.socialB 1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • david@fouroclockfarms.clubD david@fouroclockfarms.club

                      @benroyce @alice @cynthiarose @Sassinake

                      benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                      benroyce@mastodon.socialB This user is from outside of this forum
                      benroyce@mastodon.social
                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                      #215

                      @david @alice @cynthiarose @Sassinake 🤭

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • bcasiello@floss.socialB bcasiello@floss.social

                        @enbypirate @alice So to speak.

                        dacmot@sunny.gardenD This user is from outside of this forum
                        dacmot@sunny.gardenD This user is from outside of this forum
                        dacmot@sunny.garden
                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                        #216

                        @bcasiello @enbypirate @alice

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                          This bidet remote on the wall of the house in the woods I'm staying at has some bizarre controls...

                          - boob wash
                          - water-park ride
                          - options menu
                          - multiplayer select

                          - volume control
                          - channel selector
                          - smoking instructions?

                          I tried the boob wash and was not disappointed, but it took me like two minutes to figure out the little square LED on the left was the off-button.

                          eestileib@tech.lgbtE This user is from outside of this forum
                          eestileib@tech.lgbtE This user is from outside of this forum
                          eestileib@tech.lgbt
                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                          #217

                          @alice

                          I was at my in-laws' house and also could not find the off button, I was on the bidet like "shit, am I stuck here or do I stand up and have my back hosed down with bidet water?"

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • cadejohnson@toot.catC cadejohnson@toot.cat

                            @eedly @alice having come late in life to appreciate the utility of an under-the-toilet-seat style of bidet, I can speak on the topic of water velocity with wisdom. With the under-seat variety at least, the water supply is the same as refills the toilet tank. It is commonly possible to adjust the pressure (which also adjusts how quickly the toilet tank refills). By this adjustment, one can calibrate a suitably forceful and yet not perilously forceful pressure for the "jet". A bidet will save a family many rolls of paper (albeit at the cost of having a set of individual "drying towels" added to the laundry duty).

                            david@fouroclockfarms.clubD This user is from outside of this forum
                            david@fouroclockfarms.clubD This user is from outside of this forum
                            david@fouroclockfarms.club
                            wrote sidst redigeret af
                            #218

                            @CadeJohnson @eedly @alice my toilet-seat bidet has heated seat and water, and a (very ineffective) dryer. Ahhh… tho sitting on something full of water that’s also plugged into the mains is a little unsettling.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • sleepycatten@cultofshiv.wtfS sleepycatten@cultofshiv.wtf

                              @alice

                              We definitely shouldn't be considered any kind of expert on deciphering symbols 😅

                              Nor would we seek to tell somebody else that their interpretation of signs is wrong.

                              If we told you what we see those as, it would tell you a lot about how our mind works 😅😶

                              koalou@lgbtqia.spaceK This user is from outside of this forum
                              koalou@lgbtqia.spaceK This user is from outside of this forum
                              koalou@lgbtqia.space
                              wrote sidst redigeret af
                              #219

                              @SleepyCatten
                              Now I'm very curious 👀
                              Mind telling me what see the symbols as, please? :3

                              @alice

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • benroyce@mastodon.socialB benroyce@mastodon.social

                                @sandorspruit @Sassinake @alice

                                people would want to look at their poop for health reasons. so you poop on a shelf in the bowl for inspection

                                it's fading away, it's mostly historical and a curiousity nowadays in old houses. new builds in the netherlands don't have it. and it's not unique to the netherlands

                                morton@kolektiva.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
                                morton@kolektiva.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
                                morton@kolektiva.social
                                wrote sidst redigeret af
                                #220

                                @benroyce @sandorspruit @Sassinake @alice Decades ago, that was the standard in Poland. I don't know if people wanted it—it was just the standard.

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • mysideishumanity@myprivate.socialM mysideishumanity@myprivate.social

                                  @alice Thank you for turning this example of "universally-understandable iconography that averts language issues" into such a fun post! 😄 😌

                                  niels@social.data.coopN This user is from outside of this forum
                                  niels@social.data.coopN This user is from outside of this forum
                                  niels@social.data.coop
                                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                                  #221

                                  @MySideIsHumanity
                                  They should make an international bidet symbol set like the laundry symbols

                                  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laundry_symbol
                                  @alice

                                  1 Reply Last reply
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