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  3. My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

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  • ? Gæst

    My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

    Turns water into wine
    Floats on water
    Makes bread for 5000 people
    Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
    Jesus was a sourdough starter.

    Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

    benh@mastodon.scotB This user is from outside of this forum
    benh@mastodon.scotB This user is from outside of this forum
    benh@mastodon.scot
    wrote sidst redigeret af
    #6

    @Buster

    I always interpreted the

    > Feeding of the 5,000

    as meaning that the food looks unappetising, and everyone pretended to eat it just to be polite.

    my daughter has taught me that you can easily fill 12 baskets with food that has been artfully shredded to create the impression of eating it

    1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • ? Gæst

      My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

      Turns water into wine
      Floats on water
      Makes bread for 5000 people
      Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
      Jesus was a sourdough starter.

      Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

      psneeze@mastodon.ieP This user is from outside of this forum
      psneeze@mastodon.ieP This user is from outside of this forum
      psneeze@mastodon.ie
      wrote sidst redigeret af
      #7

      @Buster And he spread to 2.3 billion of the world's population of 8 billion which makes him a yeast infection.

      lanaehforaday@universeodon.comL akamran@indieweb.socialA 2 Replies Last reply
      0
      • ? Gæst

        My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

        Turns water into wine
        Floats on water
        Makes bread for 5000 people
        Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
        Jesus was a sourdough starter.

        Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

        lasse@social.tchncs.deL This user is from outside of this forum
        lasse@social.tchncs.deL This user is from outside of this forum
        lasse@social.tchncs.de
        wrote sidst redigeret af
        #8

        @Buster Yeastus Christ, you're right 😲!

        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • agowa338@chaos.socialA agowa338@chaos.social

          @Buster

          Heals people => penicillin

          Oh my, that explains everything!

          Jesus was a type of Yeast, confirmed

          Edit: Oh and also explains why eating his flesh and blood are bread and wine, too.

          msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
          msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
          msbellows@c.im
          wrote sidst redigeret af
          #9

          @agowa338 @Buster
          The truth was hidden in plain sight right there in his own words, but no one ever realized it before!

          “Again he asked, ‘What shall I compare the kingdom of God to? It is like yeast that a woman took and mixed into about thirty kilograms of flour until it worked all through the dough.’” – Luke 13:20-21

          "Be careful. Watch out for the yeast of the Pharisees and that of Herod.” – Mark 8:15

          agowa338@chaos.socialA msbellows@c.imM 2 Replies Last reply
          0
          • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

            @agowa338 @Buster
            The truth was hidden in plain sight right there in his own words, but no one ever realized it before!

            “Again he asked, ‘What shall I compare the kingdom of God to? It is like yeast that a woman took and mixed into about thirty kilograms of flour until it worked all through the dough.’” – Luke 13:20-21

            "Be careful. Watch out for the yeast of the Pharisees and that of Herod.” – Mark 8:15

            agowa338@chaos.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
            agowa338@chaos.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
            agowa338@chaos.social
            wrote sidst redigeret af
            #10

            @msbellows @Buster

            Also fits in with people singing church songs* while cooking

            * (as they didn't have clocks nor timers at home that's what they used to track the time in between steps, e.g. Step XYZ, sing 5 Ave Maria, ...)

            Christianity is just a big cooking club.

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • ? Gæst

              My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

              Turns water into wine
              Floats on water
              Makes bread for 5000 people
              Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
              Jesus was a sourdough starter.

              Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

              cadbury_moose@wandering.shopC This user is from outside of this forum
              cadbury_moose@wandering.shopC This user is from outside of this forum
              cadbury_moose@wandering.shop
              wrote sidst redigeret af
              #11

              @Buster

              Knud Axel Syrup[1]: "Judas, Yeast!".

              [1] "The Makeshift Rocket" by Poul Anderson.

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • ? Gæst

                My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                Turns water into wine
                Floats on water
                Makes bread for 5000 people
                Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                lanaehforaday@universeodon.comL This user is from outside of this forum
                lanaehforaday@universeodon.comL This user is from outside of this forum
                lanaehforaday@universeodon.com
                wrote sidst redigeret af
                #12

                @Buster

                MIND

                BLOWN

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • psneeze@mastodon.ieP psneeze@mastodon.ie

                  @Buster And he spread to 2.3 billion of the world's population of 8 billion which makes him a yeast infection.

                  lanaehforaday@universeodon.comL This user is from outside of this forum
                  lanaehforaday@universeodon.comL This user is from outside of this forum
                  lanaehforaday@universeodon.com
                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                  #13

                  Oh Jesus!

                  @psneeze @Buster

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • ? Gæst

                    My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                    Turns water into wine
                    Floats on water
                    Makes bread for 5000 people
                    Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                    Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                    Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                    bololacertus@mstdn.mxB This user is from outside of this forum
                    bololacertus@mstdn.mxB This user is from outside of this forum
                    bololacertus@mstdn.mx
                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                    #14

                    @Buster Now the part of "eat of this bread for it is my flesh" makes sense. It was not about zombies at all.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • ? Gæst

                      My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                      Turns water into wine
                      Floats on water
                      Makes bread for 5000 people
                      Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                      Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                      Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                      nigenet@mastodon.socialN This user is from outside of this forum
                      nigenet@mastodon.socialN This user is from outside of this forum
                      nigenet@mastodon.social
                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                      #15

                      @Buster Now singing "Jesus was a sourdough starter" to the tune of Jerry Was A Racecar Driver by Primus 🙂

                      ozzelot@mstdn.socialO 1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • ? Gæst

                        My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                        Turns water into wine
                        Floats on water
                        Makes bread for 5000 people
                        Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                        Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                        Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                        yuvalne@433.worldY This user is from outside of this forum
                        yuvalne@433.worldY This user is from outside of this forum
                        yuvalne@433.world
                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                        #16

                        @Buster funnily enough, some fringe scholars do actually think Jesus was a type of fungus, though they use other (quite out there) arguments to get to that conclusion.
                        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Sacred_Mushroom_and_the_Cross?wprov=sfla1

                        celesteh@hachyderm.ioC 1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • ? Gæst

                          My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                          Turns water into wine
                          Floats on water
                          Makes bread for 5000 people
                          Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                          Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                          Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                          jasper@mastodon.nlJ This user is from outside of this forum
                          jasper@mastodon.nlJ This user is from outside of this forum
                          jasper@mastodon.nl
                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                          #17

                          @Buster 🍞 nom https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sacramental_bread

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • yuvalne@433.worldY yuvalne@433.world

                            @Buster funnily enough, some fringe scholars do actually think Jesus was a type of fungus, though they use other (quite out there) arguments to get to that conclusion.
                            https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Sacred_Mushroom_and_the_Cross?wprov=sfla1

                            celesteh@hachyderm.ioC This user is from outside of this forum
                            celesteh@hachyderm.ioC This user is from outside of this forum
                            celesteh@hachyderm.io
                            wrote sidst redigeret af
                            #18

                            @Yuvalne @Buster

                            This is the plot to a Philip K Dick novel. It's one of my favourites.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • psneeze@mastodon.ieP psneeze@mastodon.ie

                              @Buster And he spread to 2.3 billion of the world's population of 8 billion which makes him a yeast infection.

                              akamran@indieweb.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
                              akamran@indieweb.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
                              akamran@indieweb.social
                              wrote sidst redigeret af
                              #19

                              @psneeze @Buster ok that made me cackle out loud, thank god I'm alone atm

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • ? Gæst

                                My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                                Turns water into wine
                                Floats on water
                                Makes bread for 5000 people
                                Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                                Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                                Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                                amro@todon.nlA This user is from outside of this forum
                                amro@todon.nlA This user is from outside of this forum
                                amro@todon.nl
                                wrote sidst redigeret af
                                #20

                                @Buster Yeastus! 😂🤦🏻‍♀️

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • nigenet@mastodon.socialN nigenet@mastodon.social

                                  @Buster Now singing "Jesus was a sourdough starter" to the tune of Jerry Was A Racecar Driver by Primus 🙂

                                  ozzelot@mstdn.socialO This user is from outside of this forum
                                  ozzelot@mstdn.socialO This user is from outside of this forum
                                  ozzelot@mstdn.social
                                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                                  #21

                                  @nigenet @Buster The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles theme also gets the job done.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • jwcph@helvede.netJ jwcph@helvede.net shared this topic
                                  • ? Gæst

                                    My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                                    Turns water into wine
                                    Floats on water
                                    Makes bread for 5000 people
                                    Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                                    Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                                    Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                                    nickapos@mastodon.oncrete.ukN This user is from outside of this forum
                                    nickapos@mastodon.oncrete.ukN This user is from outside of this forum
                                    nickapos@mastodon.oncrete.uk
                                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                                    #22

                                    @Buster I am pretty Jesus pronoun would be them

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • ? Gæst

                                      My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

                                      Turns water into wine
                                      Floats on water
                                      Makes bread for 5000 people
                                      Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
                                      Jesus was a sourdough starter.

                                      Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'

                                      travisfw@fosstodon.orgT This user is from outside of this forum
                                      travisfw@fosstodon.orgT This user is from outside of this forum
                                      travisfw@fosstodon.org
                                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                                      #23

                                      @Buster in his book Entangled Life, Merlin Sheldrake has a section collecting theories about psychedelic fungi originating religions, connecting possession and enlightenment and so on.

                                      Jesus was definitely a fun-gi.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

                                        @agowa338 @Buster
                                        The truth was hidden in plain sight right there in his own words, but no one ever realized it before!

                                        “Again he asked, ‘What shall I compare the kingdom of God to? It is like yeast that a woman took and mixed into about thirty kilograms of flour until it worked all through the dough.’” – Luke 13:20-21

                                        "Be careful. Watch out for the yeast of the Pharisees and that of Herod.” – Mark 8:15

                                        msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                                        msbellows@c.imM This user is from outside of this forum
                                        msbellows@c.im
                                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                                        #24

                                        @agowa338 @Buster OOH! OOH! And what Jewish holiday did Easter ("He is risen! he is risen indeed!") evolve from?

                                        The Feast of Unleavened Bread!

                                        psneeze@mastodon.ieP 1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • msbellows@c.imM msbellows@c.im

                                          @agowa338 @Buster OOH! OOH! And what Jewish holiday did Easter ("He is risen! he is risen indeed!") evolve from?

                                          The Feast of Unleavened Bread!

                                          psneeze@mastodon.ieP This user is from outside of this forum
                                          psneeze@mastodon.ieP This user is from outside of this forum
                                          psneeze@mastodon.ie
                                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                                          #25

                                          @msbellows @agowa338 @Buster Yeaster?

                                          msbellows@c.imM 1 Reply Last reply
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