"Your boundaries have to be stronger than your empathy.”
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"Your boundaries have to be stronger than your empathy.”
A friend just shared this advice with me, in a conversation about a tough situation she's dealing with, and I wish someone had said this to me when I was very young (instead of implicitly and explicitly telling me the opposite, as is common for people socialized as female).
Sharing here for all those (of all genders) who could use to hear it.
Boundaries don’t push the right people away.
They help reveal who respects you and who only liked having access to you.
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Boundaries don’t push the right people away.
They help reveal who respects you and who only liked having access to you.
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"Your boundaries have to be stronger than your empathy.”
A friend just shared this advice with me, in a conversation about a tough situation she's dealing with, and I wish someone had said this to me when I was very young (instead of implicitly and explicitly telling me the opposite, as is common for people socialized as female).
Sharing here for all those (of all genders) who could use to hear it.
@ShaulaEvans It's been my experience that the folks who push boundaries the hardest usually don't have any of the empathy for others that they demand for themselves.
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@ShaulaEvans It's been my experience that the folks who push boundaries the hardest usually don't have any of the empathy for others that they demand for themselves.
@Soozcat I'd agree with this mostly.
In my experience, the exception is people in crisis: they are desperate for help and in their desperation may, understandably, disregard boundaries. But that doesn't mean your own boundaries, limits and resource limitations are any less important.
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"Your boundaries have to be stronger than your empathy.”
A friend just shared this advice with me, in a conversation about a tough situation she's dealing with, and I wish someone had said this to me when I was very young (instead of implicitly and explicitly telling me the opposite, as is common for people socialized as female).
Sharing here for all those (of all genders) who could use to hear it.
@ShaulaEvans that is very profound
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"Your boundaries have to be stronger than your empathy.”
A friend just shared this advice with me, in a conversation about a tough situation she's dealing with, and I wish someone had said this to me when I was very young (instead of implicitly and explicitly telling me the opposite, as is common for people socialized as female).
Sharing here for all those (of all genders) who could use to hear it.
@ShaulaEvans goodness that lands
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"Your boundaries have to be stronger than your empathy.”
A friend just shared this advice with me, in a conversation about a tough situation she's dealing with, and I wish someone had said this to me when I was very young (instead of implicitly and explicitly telling me the opposite, as is common for people socialized as female).
Sharing here for all those (of all genders) who could use to hear it.
@ShaulaEvans "when does love become self-erasure?" is one of those unfair binds life throws at you, made worse by illness - a boundary may mean leaving a person without support
the act of caring for yourself then hurts you as well
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"Your boundaries have to be stronger than your empathy.”
A friend just shared this advice with me, in a conversation about a tough situation she's dealing with, and I wish someone had said this to me when I was very young (instead of implicitly and explicitly telling me the opposite, as is common for people socialized as female).
Sharing here for all those (of all genders) who could use to hear it.
I am thinking a lot about that. Sometimes people use „boundaries“ to avoid accountability and empathy. So I see some danger in that.
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I am thinking a lot about that. Sometimes people use „boundaries“ to avoid accountability and empathy. So I see some danger in that.
@_rya_ Indeed, empathy has an implied range of lesser-to-greater. Many overlap with how much give-to-take they have left in their range, at the moment.
Ahh the physics of scalar behavioral ranges. Too bad Behavioral Science isn't Core Education.
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"Your boundaries have to be stronger than your empathy.”
A friend just shared this advice with me, in a conversation about a tough situation she's dealing with, and I wish someone had said this to me when I was very young (instead of implicitly and explicitly telling me the opposite, as is common for people socialized as female).
Sharing here for all those (of all genders) who could use to hear it.
@ShaulaEvans Situational boundaries was a hard learned skill. My wiring led to my failure to recognize my functional carrying capacity, and then suffer long periods where i helped no one and barely stayed afloat myself. It taught me eventually. I need to stay balanced. Help while i can, step back and recover. If they're not literally my dependent, I am not the only resource another person has and i need to remember that sometimes. But after I rest i return. 'Humans' evolved bc we're supportive.
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J jwcph@helvede.net shared this topic
