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  3. I am... really tempted to pin this to the top of my account...

I am... really tempted to pin this to the top of my account...

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  • ives@mstdn.socialI ives@mstdn.social

    @sundogplanets Thx for the diagram! I find most of the paths very logical and obvious. But that last 'did you ask' box before you get to 'not mansplaining' is a bit of an eye opener.
    How should we phrase that question though? I'm afraid that 'would you like me to explain that?' would be really condescending :^].

    lauraleedukeshire@cosocial.caL This user is from outside of this forum
    lauraleedukeshire@cosocial.caL This user is from outside of this forum
    lauraleedukeshire@cosocial.ca
    wrote sidst redigeret af
    #27

    @ives @sundogplanets Here is my suggestion. When you feel yourself about to explain something, ask her "Are you familiar with _____?". She can either tell you what she knows or ask for an explanation so, that the two of you can establish a common starting point for the next part of conversation.

    ives@mstdn.socialI lauerhahn@sfba.socialL naturemc@mastodon.onlineN 3 Replies Last reply
    0
    • lauraleedukeshire@cosocial.caL lauraleedukeshire@cosocial.ca

      @ives @sundogplanets Here is my suggestion. When you feel yourself about to explain something, ask her "Are you familiar with _____?". She can either tell you what she knows or ask for an explanation so, that the two of you can establish a common starting point for the next part of conversation.

      ives@mstdn.socialI This user is from outside of this forum
      ives@mstdn.socialI This user is from outside of this forum
      ives@mstdn.social
      wrote sidst redigeret af
      #28

      @LauraleeDukeshire @sundogplanets Simple and elegant... thx!

      lauraleedukeshire@cosocial.caL 1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • karen5lund@mastodon.socialK karen5lund@mastodon.social

        @sundogplanets T-shirts?

        For conferences, print a compact version that fits inside the plastic pocket you get for your conference ID and put it in the back, so you can just flip the badge to show it.

        lappenjammerdiezweite@social.vivaldi.netL This user is from outside of this forum
        lappenjammerdiezweite@social.vivaldi.netL This user is from outside of this forum
        lappenjammerdiezweite@social.vivaldi.net
        wrote sidst redigeret af
        #29

        @Karen5Lund @sundogplanets

        Handing over your card with this chart could be fun too.

        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

          I am... really tempted to pin this to the top of my account... Print it and put it on my office door... send it as my email signature... wear it around my neck at conferences....
          https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20180727-mansplaining-explained-in-one-chart

          fknhannu@zeroes.caF This user is from outside of this forum
          fknhannu@zeroes.caF This user is from outside of this forum
          fknhannu@zeroes.ca
          wrote sidst redigeret af
          #30

          @sundogplanets i love this flowchart

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

            @socketwench I LOVE THIS IDEA

            lappenjammerdiezweite@social.vivaldi.netL This user is from outside of this forum
            lappenjammerdiezweite@social.vivaldi.netL This user is from outside of this forum
            lappenjammerdiezweite@social.vivaldi.net
            wrote sidst redigeret af
            #31

            @sundogplanets @socketwench

            Shall we crowd fund this?

            crowbriarhexe@tech.lgbtC 1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • ives@mstdn.socialI ives@mstdn.social

              @LauraleeDukeshire @sundogplanets Simple and elegant... thx!

              lauraleedukeshire@cosocial.caL This user is from outside of this forum
              lauraleedukeshire@cosocial.caL This user is from outside of this forum
              lauraleedukeshire@cosocial.ca
              wrote sidst redigeret af
              #32

              @ives @sundogplanets I'll also add that if one catches themself mansplaining (ie. One is explaining and sees "that look" on her face), one can always course correct with a quick, "sorry, I didn't ask if you already know this." And see what she says. A lot of us will appreciate and give grace to someone who is trying to do better.

              tekchip@mastodon.socialT 1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

                I am... really tempted to pin this to the top of my account... Print it and put it on my office door... send it as my email signature... wear it around my neck at conferences....
                https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20180727-mansplaining-explained-in-one-chart

                arisummerland@beige.partyA This user is from outside of this forum
                arisummerland@beige.partyA This user is from outside of this forum
                arisummerland@beige.party
                wrote sidst redigeret af
                #33

                @sundogplanets This is so, so excellent!

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

                  I am... really tempted to pin this to the top of my account... Print it and put it on my office door... send it as my email signature... wear it around my neck at conferences....
                  https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20180727-mansplaining-explained-in-one-chart

                  kellyromanych@mastodon.socialK This user is from outside of this forum
                  kellyromanych@mastodon.socialK This user is from outside of this forum
                  kellyromanych@mastodon.social
                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                  #34

                  @sundogplanets yes! Even using the starting question alone says volumes

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

                    I am... really tempted to pin this to the top of my account... Print it and put it on my office door... send it as my email signature... wear it around my neck at conferences....
                    https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20180727-mansplaining-explained-in-one-chart

                    ministerofimpediments@mastodon.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
                    ministerofimpediments@mastodon.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
                    ministerofimpediments@mastodon.social
                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                    #35

                    @sundogplanets …totally tempted to explain to you how to do a proper flow diagram.

                    [which is humor…btw]

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

                      I am... really tempted to pin this to the top of my account... Print it and put it on my office door... send it as my email signature... wear it around my neck at conferences....
                      https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20180727-mansplaining-explained-in-one-chart

                      kboyd@phpc.socialK This user is from outside of this forum
                      kboyd@phpc.socialK This user is from outside of this forum
                      kboyd@phpc.social
                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                      #36

                      @sundogplanets Perfect, now I just need one for reply-guying.

                      Say, is there any chance you can get this one into orbit?

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

                        I am... really tempted to pin this to the top of my account... Print it and put it on my office door... send it as my email signature... wear it around my neck at conferences....
                        https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20180727-mansplaining-explained-in-one-chart

                        leonardof@bertha.socialL This user is from outside of this forum
                        leonardof@bertha.socialL This user is from outside of this forum
                        leonardof@bertha.social
                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                        #37

                        @sundogplanets On the downside, I don't read people's pinned posts before replying to them. On the upside, I don't see how could pinning it possibly hurt

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • lauraleedukeshire@cosocial.caL lauraleedukeshire@cosocial.ca

                          @ives @sundogplanets I'll also add that if one catches themself mansplaining (ie. One is explaining and sees "that look" on her face), one can always course correct with a quick, "sorry, I didn't ask if you already know this." And see what she says. A lot of us will appreciate and give grace to someone who is trying to do better.

                          tekchip@mastodon.socialT This user is from outside of this forum
                          tekchip@mastodon.socialT This user is from outside of this forum
                          tekchip@mastodon.social
                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                          #38

                          @LauraleeDukeshire @ives @sundogplanets this seems the right way.

                          Everything in the diagram after "No" is assumptions and we all know some things about how those go. 😬

                          If I assume a thing is known, and it's not, then things go poorly. If I don't assume a thing and mansplain things go poorly.

                          The question cuts the assumptions and ensures things go well. I've done this in the past but I still need to work harder to make sure it's the default. I appreciate the reminder!

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

                            I am... really tempted to pin this to the top of my account... Print it and put it on my office door... send it as my email signature... wear it around my neck at conferences....
                            https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20180727-mansplaining-explained-in-one-chart

                            chickpeapole@mastodon.socialC This user is from outside of this forum
                            chickpeapole@mastodon.socialC This user is from outside of this forum
                            chickpeapole@mastodon.social
                            wrote sidst redigeret af
                            #39

                            @sundogplanets The fact that a flow chart is needed 😭 The actual culprits probably wouldn't even bother reading through this though

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

                              I am... really tempted to pin this to the top of my account... Print it and put it on my office door... send it as my email signature... wear it around my neck at conferences....
                              https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20180727-mansplaining-explained-in-one-chart

                              fishidwardrobe@social.tchncs.deF This user is from outside of this forum
                              fishidwardrobe@social.tchncs.deF This user is from outside of this forum
                              fishidwardrobe@social.tchncs.de
                              wrote sidst redigeret af
                              #40

                              @sundogplanets i feel like we need a box with the question "are you explaining something?"

                              Because that does come up.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

                                I am... really tempted to pin this to the top of my account... Print it and put it on my office door... send it as my email signature... wear it around my neck at conferences....
                                https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20180727-mansplaining-explained-in-one-chart

                                howking@mastodonczech.czH This user is from outside of this forum
                                howking@mastodonczech.czH This user is from outside of this forum
                                howking@mastodonczech.cz
                                wrote sidst redigeret af
                                #41

                                @sundogplanets Is she wrong, and do you want to explain it to her just as you would explain it to a man? Don’t do that—with a woman, that’s mansplaining! 🙂

                                flipper@mastodonapp.ukF 1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • howking@mastodonczech.czH howking@mastodonczech.cz

                                  @sundogplanets Is she wrong, and do you want to explain it to her just as you would explain it to a man? Don’t do that—with a woman, that’s mansplaining! 🙂

                                  flipper@mastodonapp.ukF This user is from outside of this forum
                                  flipper@mastodonapp.ukF This user is from outside of this forum
                                  flipper@mastodonapp.uk
                                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                                  #42

                                  @howking
                                  do you feel the need to explain?

                                  This seems more about making yourself feel more authoritative than making the other person feel better or more informed. Maybe just ask yourself if it really matters?

                                  Also, for the specific example that the OP is referring to (ie. being a recognized authority on a subject and still being mansplained on that subject), your generic response doesn't really seem all that applicable.

                                  @sundogplanets

                                  jenzi@mastodon.socialJ 1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

                                    I am... really tempted to pin this to the top of my account... Print it and put it on my office door... send it as my email signature... wear it around my neck at conferences....
                                    https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20180727-mansplaining-explained-in-one-chart

                                    flipper@mastodonapp.ukF This user is from outside of this forum
                                    flipper@mastodonapp.ukF This user is from outside of this forum
                                    flipper@mastodonapp.uk
                                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                                    #43

                                    @sundogplanets i reckon you could have it made into a cattle brand, for helping repeat offenders to remember.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • karen5lund@mastodon.socialK karen5lund@mastodon.social

                                      @sundogplanets T-shirts?

                                      For conferences, print a compact version that fits inside the plastic pocket you get for your conference ID and put it in the back, so you can just flip the badge to show it.

                                      cerstinmahlow@mastodon.acm.orgC This user is from outside of this forum
                                      cerstinmahlow@mastodon.acm.orgC This user is from outside of this forum
                                      cerstinmahlow@mastodon.acm.org
                                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                                      #44

                                      @Karen5Lund That's exactly what I wanted to suggest: print it on a paper that fits badges for conferences! @sundogplanets

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • lauraleedukeshire@cosocial.caL lauraleedukeshire@cosocial.ca

                                        @ives @sundogplanets Here is my suggestion. When you feel yourself about to explain something, ask her "Are you familiar with _____?". She can either tell you what she knows or ask for an explanation so, that the two of you can establish a common starting point for the next part of conversation.

                                        lauerhahn@sfba.socialL This user is from outside of this forum
                                        lauerhahn@sfba.socialL This user is from outside of this forum
                                        lauerhahn@sfba.social
                                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                                        #45

                                        @LauraleeDukeshire @ives @sundogplanets I'm a woman and I do this all the time. In my work I'm frequently meeting people for the first time and I'm unsure how much info they have on the subject of the meeting. So often my first question is just what you said: "are you familiar with X, or would it help if I gave some background?" It works!

                                        loops@neurodifferent.meL 1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • sundogplanets@mastodon.socialS sundogplanets@mastodon.social

                                          I am... really tempted to pin this to the top of my account... Print it and put it on my office door... send it as my email signature... wear it around my neck at conferences....
                                          https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20180727-mansplaining-explained-in-one-chart

                                          joat@mastodon.scotJ This user is from outside of this forum
                                          joat@mastodon.scotJ This user is from outside of this forum
                                          joat@mastodon.scot
                                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                                          #46

                                          @sundogplanets please keep a tally of how many men explain to you why it's wrong and/or you didn't understand it

                                          1 Reply Last reply
                                          0
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