Omg, 1-star recipe reviews are bonkers 💁🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️💁🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️
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@alice
Unfortunately, Mastodon only allows me to leave one star on this toot. -
Like, if you know what you're doing, you can sub things, wing it, and still make something great. But if you don't know what you're doing, *follow the frickin' recipe!*
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️@alice Years ago my lovely bride made mashed potatoes for dinner. "We ran out of milk so I tried something different..." PSA - French vanilla creamer is *not* a good substitute for milk in mashed potatoes. Thought my younger boy was going to hurl.
And this is why I do the cooking in our house. -
@alice@lgbtqia.space this is why 1
is better than 5 reviews. If the reviews are stuff like that and nothing about the actual product/recipe, then you know it’s good.@twitchy
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Like, if you know what you're doing, you can sub things, wing it, and still make something great. But if you don't know what you're doing, *follow the frickin' recipe!*
️️@alice “The color balance on my TV is out of whack and this movie looked horrible!”
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@theorangetheme lmao! That one just came up in the video I'm watching
I'm allergic to eggs, You can go quite far making a weak Bird's Custard with cinnamon and nutmeg.
Getting the dairy out is a bit trickier.
Don't forget eggnog is basically a pumpkin spice custard milkshake.
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Omg, 1-star recipe reviews are bonkers
️️️️"I didn't follow any of the directions and it turned out terrible!"
"I didn't have heavy cream, so I substituted mayo. It tasted weird."
"This recipe looks so good, but I didn't try it because I'm allergic to peanuts."
This review didn't say anything about the recipe. Would not recommend. -
Omg, 1-star recipe reviews are bonkers
️️️️"I didn't follow any of the directions and it turned out terrible!"
"I didn't have heavy cream, so I substituted mayo. It tasted weird."
"This recipe looks so good, but I didn't try it because I'm allergic to peanuts."
@alice@lgbtqia.space
In games, this is sometimes called the free parking fallacy. It occurs when someone makes a house rule for a game and then blames the game designers for the effect.
We see it a lot in tabletop RPGs. For example, people used to D&D who try Fate or Apocalypse think they can skip reading any rules that aren't exclusively about killing stuff. Then they complain the game doesn't work. -
@alice Years ago my lovely bride made mashed potatoes for dinner. "We ran out of milk so I tried something different..." PSA - French vanilla creamer is *not* a good substitute for milk in mashed potatoes. Thought my younger boy was going to hurl.
And this is why I do the cooking in our house.@JamesMDonohoe @alice One word:
Butter
Two words:
MORE butter.
9 words:
There is no such thing as too much butter.
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@alice Years ago my lovely bride made mashed potatoes for dinner. "We ran out of milk so I tried something different..." PSA - French vanilla creamer is *not* a good substitute for milk in mashed potatoes. Thought my younger boy was going to hurl.
And this is why I do the cooking in our house.@JamesMDonohoe @alice I make mash with olive oil as a substitute for milk/butter when my vegan offsprung visits - it needs to be a mildish oil, but it is ok. First time is always a bit of an experiment, but I definitely wouldn’t blame anyone else!
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@JamesMDonohoe @alice One word:
Butter
Two words:
MORE butter.
9 words:
There is no such thing as too much butter.
@rozeboosje My lovely bride is a Georgia peach so being from the south I would have assumed butter was her default choice (second only to deep frying everything in sight), but alas, no.
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@alice Reminds me of this lol.
@theorangetheme @alice the funny thing to me, a person with the same (thankfully mild) allergies, is there are some really good commercial substitutes for egg nog now. They use gums for thickened and other industrial scale modifications it is not worth attempting at home. Just go buy it once a year like everybody else. I put it in my coffee.
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Omg, 1-star recipe reviews are bonkers
️️️️"I didn't follow any of the directions and it turned out terrible!"
"I didn't have heavy cream, so I substituted mayo. It tasted weird."
"This recipe looks so good, but I didn't try it because I'm allergic to peanuts."
@alice
I used have a food website and this is why I stopped reading/replying to the comments people posted on my recipes.
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Omg, 1-star recipe reviews are bonkers
️️️️"I didn't follow any of the directions and it turned out terrible!"
"I didn't have heavy cream, so I substituted mayo. It tasted weird."
"This recipe looks so good, but I didn't try it because I'm allergic to peanuts."
@alice just being someone who comments on those sites already marks someone as … suspect
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Omg, 1-star recipe reviews are bonkers
️️️️"I didn't follow any of the directions and it turned out terrible!"
"I didn't have heavy cream, so I substituted mayo. It tasted weird."
"This recipe looks so good, but I didn't try it because I'm allergic to peanuts."
Related but not...
Dipshits that leave a one star review and say "I bought the wrong size."
I love the reviews on eham.net. not only do the allow a star rating and text, but they also ask how long you've owned the item.
I hate reviews that say "I just got my snaffleblarger and haven't opened the packaging but I LOVE IT!"
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@alice Years ago my lovely bride made mashed potatoes for dinner. "We ran out of milk so I tried something different..." PSA - French vanilla creamer is *not* a good substitute for milk in mashed potatoes. Thought my younger boy was going to hurl.
And this is why I do the cooking in our house.@JamesMDonohoe @alice Soup stock, such as chicken or vegetable, works considerably better. -
Omg, 1-star recipe reviews are bonkers
️️️️"I didn't follow any of the directions and it turned out terrible!"
"I didn't have heavy cream, so I substituted mayo. It tasted weird."
"This recipe looks so good, but I didn't try it because I'm allergic to peanuts."
@alice@lgbtqia.space "salt looks like sugar, ill use that instead.." :V
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@alice Years ago my lovely bride made mashed potatoes for dinner. "We ran out of milk so I tried something different..." PSA - French vanilla creamer is *not* a good substitute for milk in mashed potatoes. Thought my younger boy was going to hurl.
And this is why I do the cooking in our house.@JamesMDonohoe @alice years ago I moved into a new flat and invited my then girlfriend, now wife round for dinner. Realised at the last minute that I didn’t have a potato masher, but decided that I could simply use a food processor instead. That’s how we discovered the difference between purée and mash. She will never let me forget serving her ‘potato custard’
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Omg, 1-star recipe reviews are bonkers
️️️️"I didn't follow any of the directions and it turned out terrible!"
"I didn't have heavy cream, so I substituted mayo. It tasted weird."
"This recipe looks so good, but I didn't try it because I'm allergic to peanuts."
There was a post that abadidea put up yesterday that I think pairs nicely with this - especially the third one, where there's no earthly reason to leave a review lol
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Omg, 1-star recipe reviews are bonkers
️️️️"I didn't follow any of the directions and it turned out terrible!"
"I didn't have heavy cream, so I substituted mayo. It tasted weird."
"This recipe looks so good, but I didn't try it because I'm allergic to peanuts."
@alice i saw a fondue recipe review where they substituted the gruyere and emmenthal with velveeta and then complained that it was not a good recipe
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