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  3. Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

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  • moondog548@nerdculture.deM moondog548@nerdculture.de

    @haltroy
    And just like any disease we'll keep fighting it.
    @Orb2069 @vkc

    orb2069@mastodon.onlineO This user is from outside of this forum
    orb2069@mastodon.onlineO This user is from outside of this forum
    orb2069@mastodon.online
    wrote sidst redigeret af
    #103

    @moondog548
    This is the way.

    @haltroy @vkc

    1 Reply Last reply
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    • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

      Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

      Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

      dcgirl@boop.cityD This user is from outside of this forum
      dcgirl@boop.cityD This user is from outside of this forum
      dcgirl@boop.city
      wrote sidst redigeret af
      #104

      @vkc people want women on the fediverse? That’s news to me.

      1 Reply Last reply
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      • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

        Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

        Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

        anne_twain@theblower.auA This user is from outside of this forum
        anne_twain@theblower.auA This user is from outside of this forum
        anne_twain@theblower.au
        wrote sidst redigeret af
        #105

        @vkc Yeah it's amazing how, when you talk about arsehole behaviour on social media, arseholes arrive to demonstrate exactly what you were talking about.

        1 Reply Last reply
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        • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

          Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

          Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

          bredroll@mas.toB This user is from outside of this forum
          bredroll@mas.toB This user is from outside of this forum
          bredroll@mas.to
          wrote sidst redigeret af
          #106

          @vkc holy shit, why do assholes feel the need to come out of the swamp! so sorry you (and everyone else) have had to undure that kind of crap 😞

          1 Reply Last reply
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          • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

            Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

            Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

            david@tech.lgbtD This user is from outside of this forum
            david@tech.lgbtD This user is from outside of this forum
            david@tech.lgbt
            wrote sidst redigeret af
            #107

            @vkc using the negative comments that you have gotten to add some suspends on our instance. You are better to have here than all of them combined, easily.

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            • cobweb@corteximplant.comC cobweb@corteximplant.com

              @vkc @eq there’s a sample from a Consolidated song that’s lives rent free in my head since the late 90s and it goes “It’s men who need to inform other men about what … SHIT women go through”

              alexpsmith@beige.partyA This user is from outside of this forum
              alexpsmith@beige.partyA This user is from outside of this forum
              alexpsmith@beige.party
              wrote sidst redigeret af
              #108

              @cobweb @vkc @eq Oh, they know. They support the shit, that's the problem.

              1 Reply Last reply
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              • cyberwitch@goingdark.socialC cyberwitch@goingdark.social

                @vkc with all the bragging about how fedi is built so it can defederate and cut out unmoderated instances, maybe they should try it sometime.

                luana@wetdry.worldL This user is from outside of this forum
                luana@wetdry.worldL This user is from outside of this forum
                luana@wetdry.world
                wrote sidst redigeret af
                #109

                @cyberwitch @vkc that’s exactly what instance moderators do, all the time.

                But if you self-host an instance (like Veronica does) that’s on you, you’re choosing to be your only moderator so you have to moderate. Moderating sucks, and that’s not exclusive to the fediverse at all. If you don’t want to deal with that, you can always go to an instance hosted by someone else who deals with this. There is literally nothing other people can do to defederate people from someone else’s instance (there are blocklists I think tho?).

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                • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                  Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                  Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                  julia@eepy.moeJ This user is from outside of this forum
                  julia@eepy.moeJ This user is from outside of this forum
                  julia@eepy.moe
                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                  #110

                  @vkc@linuxmom.net this is the reason I haven't spoken out about the NUMEROUS times it's affected me

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                  • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                    @eq "don't let the idiots get you" - do you see how that puts it on me?

                    I trust you mean well, but respectfully: no. The correct response is "men should fight back when they see this amongst themselves."

                    It isn't my responsibility to "not let them get me down." It's men who need to step up and fight this battle.

                    numerfolt@kirche.socialN This user is from outside of this forum
                    numerfolt@kirche.socialN This user is from outside of this forum
                    numerfolt@kirche.social
                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                    #111

                    @vkc @eq Aye

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                    • alex02@elonsucks.orgA alex02@elonsucks.org

                      @vkc no it is not and quite frankly your response is quite obnoxious. If we can't talk about problems collectively on this shithole platform and only talk about one thing at a time than it becomes loose islands among the rest of the sewage, but fine whatever. Thank you for proving my point about how hostile this place is becoming with all you morons whining, but yet do this type of shit. Anyways, enjoy the block. I generally don't care.

                      alexpsmith@beige.partyA This user is from outside of this forum
                      alexpsmith@beige.partyA This user is from outside of this forum
                      alexpsmith@beige.party
                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                      #112

                      @alex02 @vkc You are here at her sufferance, not because you have the right to say whatever the fuck you want- on a post about sexual harassment, no less. What an entitled prick.

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                      • alex02@elonsucks.orgA alex02@elonsucks.org

                        @vkc no it is not and quite frankly your response is quite obnoxious. If we can't talk about problems collectively on this shithole platform and only talk about one thing at a time than it becomes loose islands among the rest of the sewage, but fine whatever. Thank you for proving my point about how hostile this place is becoming with all you morons whining, but yet do this type of shit. Anyways, enjoy the block. I generally don't care.

                        db@magrathea.spaceD This user is from outside of this forum
                        db@magrathea.spaceD This user is from outside of this forum
                        db@magrathea.space
                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                        #113
                        @alex02 There was nothing obnoxious or hostile about Veronica’s response to you. You did hijack the thread and make it about yourself. Don’t do that. @vkc
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                        • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                          Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                          Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                          E This user is from outside of this forum
                          E This user is from outside of this forum
                          eskealler@mastodon.social
                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                          #114

                          @vkc I'll fight sexual harassment anyday.

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                          • mloxton@med-mastodon.comM mloxton@med-mastodon.com

                            @RegGuy

                            I hear you, and the same situation exists wrt racism. People of color say they get a ton of racist interactions, but I don't see it, so don't respond.

                            I think three things are going on:
                            1. There are things that *I* don't perceive as racist/sexist, but are experienced as such by the target. That bc the perpetrator is modulating to escape detection
                            2. There are things that I haven't realized are racist and sexist, and I need to educate myself
                            3. I am not in those environments
                            @bob @vkc

                            sri@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                            sri@mastodon.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                            sri@mastodon.social
                            wrote sidst redigeret af
                            #115

                            @mloxton @RegGuy @bob @vkc which is why you believe women / PoC when they point it out.

                            bob@beamship.mpaq.orgB 1 Reply Last reply
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                            • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                              Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                              Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                              mina@berlin.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
                              mina@berlin.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
                              mina@berlin.social
                              wrote sidst redigeret af
                              #116

                              @vkc

                              So sorry, you had to go through this!

                              Just because we're in "the good place", we shouldn't assume that misogyny, racism and other ugly stuff doesn't find its way here.

                              It definitely exists, and it often hides behind false solidarity ("They're a good one, look at all the good they wrote and did. You misunderstood and are just overreacting.")

                              Awareness is the first step.

                              Abuse has to fought everywhere!

                              1 Reply Last reply
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                              • sri@mastodon.socialS sri@mastodon.social

                                @mloxton @RegGuy @bob @vkc which is why you believe women / PoC when they point it out.

                                bob@beamship.mpaq.orgB This user is from outside of this forum
                                bob@beamship.mpaq.orgB This user is from outside of this forum
                                bob@beamship.mpaq.org
                                wrote sidst redigeret af
                                #117

                                @sri @mloxton @RegGuy @vkc

                                At the same time. Ive met people whl felt they were wronged...

                                Not saying id not believe them but keeping that in mind...

                                1 Reply Last reply
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                                • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                  Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                                  Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                                  lydiaschoch@mastodon.socialL This user is from outside of this forum
                                  lydiaschoch@mastodon.socialL This user is from outside of this forum
                                  lydiaschoch@mastodon.social
                                  wrote sidst redigeret af
                                  #118

                                  @vkc This is such a frustratingly common experience. I’m sorry it happened to you.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
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                                  • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                    Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                                    Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                                    iams@mastodon.socialI This user is from outside of this forum
                                    iams@mastodon.socialI This user is from outside of this forum
                                    iams@mastodon.social
                                    wrote sidst redigeret af
                                    #119

                                    @vkc I am sorry this happened to you. Thank you for sharing this experience (when I was young many women stayed silent -- I couldn't back them up when I didn't know what was going on and it weighs on me). I come to fedi/masto to get away from the bullshit, and I'm so sorry to know it is here too. I do my part to call out abuse when I see/hear it around me. I just want to say being dragged into a fight for existing is fucking awful, and you're not alone in being pissed-off. Fuck those assholes.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
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                                    • njwookie@mindly.socialN njwookie@mindly.social

                                      @vkc

                                      Sorry this happen to you. There are fighters out there but it's a tough fight and big Fediverse.

                                      Fedi needs a hashtag that is a call to action to fight harassment and bigotry. Blocking or muting isn't enough. There should be a way to call in the Calvary to defend those being attacked.

                                      Simply reply with #StompTheBully (or something) and the good guys show up to shut things down. Summon the guard dogs and we'll show up. As 6'5" father of a mess of daughters nothing makes me happier when my crew needs me for some "Big Dog Energy".

                                      stingraybadger@zirk.usS This user is from outside of this forum
                                      stingraybadger@zirk.usS This user is from outside of this forum
                                      stingraybadger@zirk.us
                                      wrote sidst redigeret af
                                      #120

                                      @NJWookie @vkc

                                      Do you think this should be separate from the #FediBlock system already in place or in addition?

                                      gabriel@fedi.gvisoc.comG njwookie@mindly.socialN 2 Replies Last reply
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                                      • mxverda@lgbtqia.spaceM mxverda@lgbtqia.space

                                        @eq @vkc idk how much it helps (if at all), but it might help to focus on the problem (excluding behaviours) rather than groups (humans are a let down).
                                        Like... less "the situation will always be shit" ("we can't have nice things") and more "That sounds very frustrating; I don't wish that for you or anyone else".
                                        Maybe with a dash of "I try to fight it where I can, but XYZ tends to happen. Anyone got any advice while we're on the topic?"
                                        Or "I might try [whatever other suggestions]."

                                        Idk. I'm not an expert

                                        melioristicmarie@tech.lgbtM This user is from outside of this forum
                                        melioristicmarie@tech.lgbtM This user is from outside of this forum
                                        melioristicmarie@tech.lgbt
                                        wrote sidst redigeret af
                                        #121

                                        @MxVerda @eq @vkc

                                        i'm sort of a... i will cut them, just point me to whom, type of person. and then secondly, fuck this system burn it down. and then thirdly, let me help in providing examples of an alternate system that is more just and serves humanity better.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
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                                        • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                          @eq "don't let the idiots get you" - do you see how that puts it on me?

                                          I trust you mean well, but respectfully: no. The correct response is "men should fight back when they see this amongst themselves."

                                          It isn't my responsibility to "not let them get me down." It's men who need to step up and fight this battle.

                                          cheeseness@mastodon.socialC This user is from outside of this forum
                                          cheeseness@mastodon.socialC This user is from outside of this forum
                                          cheeseness@mastodon.social
                                          wrote sidst redigeret af
                                          #122

                                          @vkc @eq Even if that were an option, we are frequently talking about attention that goes far beyond human-scale. Individuals are not equipped to process let alone cope with the volume of negative attention that someone can be subjected to the moment that some internet angrymans decide to make it a part of their lifestyle to make someone else's life unpleasant.

                                          This is a social problem with communal implications, not an individual problem that someone should be able to traverse without support.

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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